Putting Enough in Perspective

[TxZen]

Over the past 3 months, I have had some challenging issues come up.

1.My mom passed away. This happened suddenly and left my father with a packrat townhouse do deal with. He has been very sick himself and could barely maneuver around. I know my mom enjoyed her stuff but it was out of control. We are talking 22 bins of shoes out of control (And that is what we found in the first week). It has taken 8 weeks of purging everyday to even make a dent and feel somewhat normal. It has made me rethink what is important to me.
2. My brother in law passed away. Again, suddenly. When his brothers arrived to his home, all they could say was he could have been on the show Hoarders. His girlfriend did give them the old pictures, slide shows and a few other personal items. The rest will have to be trashed. It’s going to take a few months, at minimum. It has made me rethink what is important to me.
These two tragedies have me assessing and reassessing my life on a daily basis. And I am finally making peace with myself and that I am just a simple girl who likes a simple life with a few possessions, good food and a happy little family (including pets).
I hate to clean and organize anymore. I used to find it cathartic and now I find it annoying. I used to enjoy decorating and now I have pulled down every last do dad off my walls and put them in the extra bedroom for now. I used to like bright colors, the more the merrier and now I long for just a soft white everywhere with comfortable furniture and a few esthetics.
So I am starting over, fresh. I don’t care if I take this house down to its bare bones and even my hubby getting a little upset. He is attached a bit to what we have reflects affluence and I could not disagree more. I remind him of his brother’s house and what he was living in. I remind him of the wedge driven between my mom and dad over her massive amount of stuff, to the point that it was no longer funny. And I am reminded of my Uncle who lived in a tiny apartment with just his small amount of things and died a multi millionaire, to the great surprise of many people. He never worried about status, working as a cobbler/shoe repairman for his whole life. It’s just stuff at the end of the day and it’s about living from here on out for me. The fact that I pretty much make 99% of the decisions about the house has really motivated. I will not live in discomfort or without certain necessities to prove my point but I sure can do a whole lot better than now.
I was going to sell it off, piece by piece, but a fresh start for me means here and now, not days, weeks, or months from now. So out goes a large load tomorrow. HAPPY!!!
I am going to paint my kitchen a fresh white with some drop cloth curtains I made. I am also starting over on my wardrobe. It works out perfectly because I have pretty much worn out most of my items over the past two or three years. I am excited about shopping after not having done so for some time. My only rules are I cannot online shop and I have to have a use for anything I bring into the house. And, for instance, the curtain rods I purchased. They will go up this week. They will not sit there and wait for the right day.
This is my enough right now. I am so excited!!!

[iris lilies]

Yay for you, OP! Humans and our unused "stuff"--we be crazy.

[TxZen]

Amen to that Iris Lilies!!!

What I am finding interesting is the dynamic between people and stuff. My Dad asked me what I wanted. I said "Um..nothing." I only really enjoy looking at the old pictures, which I will make some copies. There honestly is nothing I want.

[Simplemind]

Very healthy. Good for you!

[Blackdog Lin]

GreenMama: (1) so sorry for your losses; but (2) so happy for what it seems to have done for your outlook. Your post was wonderful! It makes me excited as to how you're going to deal with decluttering and learning to live with less "stuff". Please continue posting, as I know I can follow and learn from what you're doing and going through.....

[Kestrel]

Yes.

[TxZen]

Today is a good day. Good morning y'all!

2 more bags filled and it's not even 9 A.M. YEAH!

My goal today is to push through a MASSIVE pile of paper clutter. We are talking dining table piled high full. Maybe will post pic.

Enjoy your day y'all!!!

[iris lilies]

Do you know what we did before we finished our living/dining room a couple of years ago? I insisted that we have a "normal" basement. A basement that one can walk into where there is clear space on the floor. So the first thing we had to so was pour a cement floor--most of it was a dirt floor. So you can imagine that was rather a big ordeal, moving all of DH's crap outta there, then digging down a little, then pouring the floor. And then we spent $1,000+ on sturdy shelving units from Lowe's. Sure DH could build these for less but I had no patience with it, I just Wanted. It. Done.

All this is leading to: we had to have a normal basement where normal things could be stored so that the crap in our living room and kitchen could be moved to where it should be. Then we started on the living dining room and completed painting it. Now it's very pretty, I love it! And we don't have piles of basement stuff sitting around.

[TxZen]

I agree with spending the money to get it done. I am rethinking the drop cloth curtains because one 1. I cannot sew that well. 2. Time 3. I don't want a big headache from trying to do 10 windows. I think the $$$ spent on just the right window treatments will make me much happier in the long run. I am going to take the 1 test drop cloth I was working on and convert it to 2 large pillows for the couch. Already half way done. :)

There have been some bigger enough revelations as well. I always like when Oprah would ask a guest what they know for sure. Here are a few of mine:


We are not DIY’ers. I can paint, as long as it’s not too high or cumbersome, but beyond that, we do not have the skills to do most basic improvements. Rather spend the money to get what we want and be done with it.Even with the yard, I pulled up all the flowers, put in low hedging and some stones to get to the outside water valve and my flamingoes. Calling it a day there. I do not have the patients for flowers or pruning, worrying, watering, etc.

And I REALLY like simple. Simple design, simple color or just white and black. Boring to some but I love it. I really do appreciate color but I just don’t like it in my home.
I do enjoy working and moving up the ladder or at the very least, hanging off a bit and enjoying the view. I have found a way to revive my career choice and still focus on my healthy pursuits. It’s nice to sit back for once and not be stressed out over work, beyond normal stressors.
Food- again simple but tasty. I cannot do any specialized “diet” strictly- like juicing or shakes or something all day long. It doesn’t work for me. I prefer to shop every 3-4 days for fresh food. And, I don’t do leftovers. I make enough for the 3 of us and move on. No more messes in the refrigerator or unclaimed food 3 months later.
Clothing- I am not a big fan of prints on me. I rather have a nice silk blouse than 10 blouses with a print I grow to hate. I also like simple cuts and design, preferring classics. Reference #1.

Friends- this is BIG for me. I am finding it easier to let go of people who do not have my best interest at heart. I used to poor hours and days into friendships that didn’t develop and then feel guilty. No more. I would rather have 5 great friends and lots of acquaintances.
I prefer a more city life to country. Don’t get me wrong, I can breathe in the county but I find town life more exciting. Just being able to sit on the porch and people watch is great or I like being able to throw together a weekend dinner and people don’t have to drive very long. It’s much for fun for me. I can still wear my cowgirl boots just in a chic city way. J
Animals- love my animals, more than people some days. I will not compromise on people who do not like my big dog or shedding cat. They are part of my life, my soul, so get over it.
Religion- This may be a bit off topic but I have found my enough. I will say this, I am a believer but I don’t believe in attending church weekly and by not I am not a bad person. I used to feel SO guilty. And it’s ok to tend my Spiritual side as well. I know there is room in my life for both and it makes me balanced.

[TxZen]

Today’s Update:


Looked at all various swatches of white paint. Good grief!!! Any suggestions? We have very tall ceilings but lots of light and warm white trim/warm color tiles/ brown-black kitchen cabinets.

One more bag of goodies out. I raided my son’s closet and found some outgrown items and things he has never worn.

Removed all pictures from the house and placed upstairs. Waiting for pictures to come in mail from brother in law so I can develop a plan for framing.

Still working the huge pile- recycled/shredded a large amount.

Have a list for small jobs around the house tonight that can be accomplished in 45 minutes or so.

[awakenedsoul]

When I had my house on the market, I painted the walls of the living room and bedroom eggshell, and the trim white. The realtor suggested it. I wouldn't have chosen it, but I love it! It's so soothing and pleasant. I'll keep the kitchen butter yellow, and wallpaper the bathroom in vintage pink next year. I ended up keeping the house, and I love the new paint job!

Death really does make you see things differently. After my brother died, I went through all my stuff, too. I need to do that again this year. It feels better to have less. I think someone could go through my things in one day if they had to...it's a tiny house with one little closet.

[ToomuchStuff]

The friend of mine that was given 30 days to live in Feb, died Easter sunday, 4-20. At the time, I was at a family gathering and discussing with my brother some computer stuff (I'd like to upgrade, but my wants are hard to find and not in a budget, and he had a couple small wants that will extend his computers life, another year or two) I've been going through stuff (not as fast as I would like), but still keep my eyes out for bargains and such. I found a 360gb ssd, for $80 at a local store and picked it up. Since I won't be building for at least a year (processor is hard to find and WAY too much), I passed it along to fill my brother's need to extend his computers life.
I figure life is short at this point and when he is ready to upgrade, by then, I might be ready to spend on mine. I would so rather be Justenough, rather then toomuchstuff!

[TxZen]

Simple day- dropped off 4 bags of stuff to donation. Cleaned out my Jeep, bought a new bag for my computer. Done!!!

[Teacher Terry]

I also like "eggshell" a lot. I don't like a stark white. I would bring home some color swatches, put them on the wall & live with them awhile to see what feels right to you. I had a period of time where my house was country-had been for about 30 years. Woke up one day & hated it. Had a garage sale to declutter & when I bought new things I bought a lot less of them. I agree that if feels better not to have too much stuff although I like some decorations. Also I read that big items versus small makes a house feel good without being cluttered. That is why model homes look so nice. I am very sorry for your losses-it is a lot to deal with. Take CAre:).

[reader99]

Yay for you, OP! Humans and our unused "stuff"--we be crazy.
+1

[reader99]

re: white paint - I learned by experience that whites with a yellowishness to them end up just looking dirty. Eggshell is a pleasant shade.

[awakenedsoul]

I am blown away by how much I love my eggshell walls. It makes my tiny house feel more spacious, too. The ceilings are white...

[TxZen]

Eggshell- now is that the color I should look for? Is there such a paint name? Yes, I am that slow. :)

Thanks for all the input.

[Yarrow]

Just don't use the Dover White shade of interior paint by Sherwin Williams. It made my walls look dirty and I had to have them all repainted. I went with a very soft beige this time around. It's a warm color, which I like. I then added splashes of color here and there in accessories like artwork, pillows, bedding, etc. I like some color. But definitely - less is more, in everything. After my divorce I now live in a tiny cottage with only what is necessary and dear to my heart. It makes life a lot easier and enjoyable...

My condolences on the loss of your Mom, GreenMama.

[Float On]

I've worked for years to paint my walls very interesting colors.....and now.....I want to go white too.

[TxZen]

Glad I am not the only white wall lover. Hubby thinks I am nuts but I am not liking ANY of the color swatches I put on the walls.

Thank you all for the condolences.

[cindycindy]

Sorry for your losses. I'm preparing for a Memorial Day yard sale and find it so therapeutic to get rid of things. We will be downsizing in a few years and don't want to have to get rid of things all at once.

[danna]

Hi all

I had always had light colours and then in the nineties I went to Dusty Blues and Pinks....very in....hehe but, tried of them quickly.

Moved 11 years ago and did the whole house in a soft light sage green and I loved it, a lot of colours look really good with it and it seems
to be a colour without being in your face. But, I did paint the old kitchen cupboards in that house in a very dark purple (Eggplant verus Eggshell and
got a lot of compliments).
When I moved 5 years ago to another house I was faced with the dilemma of repainting....my first thought was that I would need to find
a new colour scheme because really I couldn't possibly use the same one again....lol....horrors.

But, I have painted it all sage, a little darker then the last place but, not really dark and I still love it, and then ALL my furniture/accessories still
went with everything. Almost all colours go well with it and especially my faves which are any and all shades of purple.
Just an option I know how hard it is to decide because I hate the designed and renovators who say it is only a gallon of paint
and you can always change the colour when you get tried of it....but, who are they kidding it is a lot of work to paint.

Sorry to hear of all your losses, they do make us rethink our stuff!!

[Spartana]

I painted everything in my house white. Just plain basic white. It made it easier to do (no taping off anything and you can be sloppy). I figure this way I can add any kind of accessory in any color. No having to match it to my paint colors. Also makes touch up easy and no need to find the same color again to touch up things.

[rodeosweetheart]

Greenmama, linen white Benjamin Moore is kind of a creamy white. Off white by Dutchboy is a nice creamy white. I wanted to buy at Home Depot, Behr paint, and they matched the Dutch Boy off white color-- very nice paint, Behr. Muslin White by Glidden is an off white. Dove White by Benjamin Moore is slightly "whiter", less creamy than linen white, but very nice.

Most of the computers can match competitor colors if you have the name.

These are three you might want to look at. (Can you tell I always paint everything white?)