View Full Version : Those of you who go to church and like it
rodeosweetheart
5-14-14, 6:56am
Those of you who go to church and find it a good experience, supportive of your spirituality and your life, with a supportive community , what kind of church (or synagogue or mosque or temple) do you go to?
My background: I was raised Episcopalian, converted to RC 27 years ago, and struggle with finding a faith community that meets both my needs and DH's needs. Since we moved, we have been to an Episcopalian church and a Quaker meeting. I really liked going to the Quaker meeting, which had both programmed and unprogrammed worship. I had a lot of mixed feelings about he Episcopal church. Have not tried the Catholic church here, but was really drawn by the Quaker meeting, which is unusual as there is a pastor, I guess. He said something at the christmas service that was really wonderful and really resonated, about why we had to be careful not to abuse people with religion, and that really appealed to me as I have found religion to be used as a tool by several pastors over the years.
Husband doesn't find the Quaker meeting appealing. He is a church musician, so always wants to be at the best music church.
My granddad was a Unitarian and I have liked that some, although like the Quaker meeting much better. Belief net always says my number one match up is Traditional Quaker, followed by the less traditional Quaker. My church affiliations do not show up anywhere on the list.
I did find out I had a Quaker grandparent who fled England after being imprisoned for his beliefs and went to Ireland, and his son went to America with William Penn and adjoining land in PA. That was kind of cool. (But I also have a million Episcopal and Catholic ancesters, too. Even a Presbyterian!)
Those of you who like your worship community, exactly what is it? What do you find there? I guess I liked the Quaker meeting because I found a sense of peace there.
We are kind of in Limbo now church-wise, but the last church we attended regularly was interesting because it was Presbyterian, and the congregation was Hungarian, going way back years and years. Now there are only a couple of Hungarians left in the congregation. I am not Hungarian--that's not why I joined. As for my background, Roman Catholic until I married, at which point I switched to Presbyterianism (this was back when there was a lot of conflict between Catholics and Protestants in the UK, and this transferred over to my in-laws attitudes about Catholics).
The minister is a really nice, down-to-earth guy who gives great common sense sermons. He speaks well and uses tons of anecdotes and always manages to send me off with one thing to mull over. He's older, and really laid back. The whole church is laid back, and the congregation is made up of what I call the "motley crew." Very diverse for a Presbyterian church--everything from your standard typical white couples to Asians and of course African Americans and Hispanics.
We also have a few homeless/poor people from the community who attend regularly, which says a lot about our pastor. A couple of years ago, he was worried about the fate of the church financially--the were operating in the red and then they lost a key tenant. After worrying for a couple of weeks, his response to his financial crisis was to take money out of his personal budget, collect some food items, and put a handmade sign out that said, "Food distribution this Saturday." People came from the impoverished surrounding community to take him up on his offer, and on the way out the door he gave them each $5 cash.
Coincidentally (maybe), the following week he had 4 people contact him about renting the space. He decided to continue a monthly food distribution program, and some of the community people who came for the food distribution joined the church.
That's what I like about the church. The place is old and not particularly well kept, the choir is a shambles, they hold meetings now and then but if no one shows, they don't care, and they have no money or influential congregants. But they do have a food distribution service, a community flea market, and just a humble, regular guy minister who happens to have spent his life trying to figure out how to apply spiritual principles to his own life and share it with others.
I still have SOME yearnings to go back to a Catholic church, and I live just a half a mile from a very vibrant one at the end of my street. I walk down there for daily Mass now and then which I love, but I just don't see myself converting back completely. I'm more "free spirit" these days and am happy to be not just a cafeteria Catholic, but a cafeteria Christian/Jew/Buddhist/Hindu/Muslim.
DH has quite a history beginning with being Jewish taking a jaunt through Unitarian preschool, Episcopalian dayschool and ending with Methodist before marrying a girl who was raised and educated Southern Baptist. We tried Baptist, Methodist, Non-Denomination, and several others before feeling most at home in Evangelical Free Church (Swedish). Each EFC is set up under itself not denomination lead so there are a variety of styles. Ours has a little more Episcopalian or Catholic feel to it with contemporary worship and weekly communion, we are not pastor lead but elder lead and rotate between 3 teachers. Its our community and our center.
My parents were raised Lutheran and Methodist, respectively, but when they married they became Unitarians. My dad eventually stopped attending after they divorced, but my mother raised me as a dedicated member of the Unitarian church. I loved it, and loved the community of children and adults there. However, I was always attracted to Judaism, but repeatedly was told, on several different occasions by several different (uninformed) Jewish people that it was impossible to convert to Judaism.
Fortunately, I ended up marrying a Jewish man, who had "fallen away" from his Conservative synagogue attendance. When we began to discuss making Aliyah to Israel, I said I would not do so unless I could enter as a Jew(ess). We found a Reform synagogue in Las Vegas (!) to attend, and where I could begin my conversion studies, which took about a year and a half, if we include my bat mitzvah and our Jewish (re-) wedding. We moved from the Vegas area briefly to Boca Raton, Florida, and joined another Reform temple there. Although the respective congregations and rabbis were very different from each other, we felt very comfortable and happy with our choice. We enjoy the ritual, the community, the learning involved, and the whole approach of Reform Judaism.
Ironically, here in Israel, many Israelis don't consider us to be "Jewish" at all! We really miss our synagogue and our communities in Vegas and in Florida, and there is now a big hole in our lives that nothing here has seemed to fill.
Sad Eyed Lady
5-14-14, 3:59pm
I am part of a small Messianic Jewish congregation and am very happy with it. We are a mixture of Jews and Gentiles who worship together believing that Yeshua (Jesus) is the Messiah. I am part of the dance team and really enjoy the Israeli type folk dancing we do as part of the worship service; love our music, our pastor is very knowledgeable, (although a bit "MONK-ish" if you remember the T.V. program!), from 19 generations of rabbis; and the people that attend are great. Our biggest drawback I feel, is we are a "commuter congregation" in that a lot of us live in surrounding towns and areas from where we meet so we don't have community that some do who are closer in proximity. Still I am happy there and have no plans to do anything differently in the foreseeable future. One thing I like is the fact that we are small. After attending some huge congregations I like this smaller group, although it makes it a bit hard on the few of us who are the "doers or helpers" - always lots to do and few people to do it all.
I go here:
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-87ERaTORnqI/UwVPJaRjAMI/AAAAAAAAJqQ/Kn2p-2VMEVI/s720/Awesomized.jpg
DH and I are Unitarian-Universalist (UU) and we love it. UUs churches are basically creedless ("you can believe whatever you want" :D ) ... but respect and encourage all sincere practices, and encourage people to find a faith path that resonates with them. We do a lot of interfaith activities and we are pleased to have become friends with people with many different practices, often not mainstream. It's all life-expanding and we feel spiritually blessed. We attend centering prayer groups at an Episcopal and a Catholic church, and felt we've grown so much with this practice. The Priest/Rector at the Episcopal church has become a very special friend. We have close friends who are atheist, pagan (of various sorts), Islamic, Jewish, Christian, Bah'a'i (which is an Abrahamic faith, if you don't know), Buddhist, American Indian, and many others. Every so often we have study groups on various religious "texts", etc. which are very interesting. And of course there are many congregational activities to become involved in, as well as many social justice activities. We're also participating in a 19-month intense spiritual quest, and it can seem so overwhelming sometimes but it's all worth it.
BTW: "Unitarian" = God is One; no Trinity. "Universalist" = All are saved; God loves his creation, so no one goes to hell. UU origins are in Christianity, which continues to be the underpinnings, but UU has grown to include other belief systems.
Kestrel, that was very helpful. I have been reading and viewing the UU site. It all sounds very nice. I am moving soon to a place walking distance to UU and hope to visit.
I'm with Bae (just this once ;)). As I came home this evening to the fragrances of Spring in full bloom, it was a 'religious' experience for me.
Nature is my church.
Even a blizzard, to me, is a pure expression of the infinite.
When one considers rainbows, sunsets, streaks of light from fireflies quickly going by at night, moonbeams through a window, Spring confetti (from blooming trees), the geometry of a perfect snowflake, the ocean's nocturnal sighs, gushing waterfalls, June bugs buzzing, ducklings on Boston Common, the still fireworks of Autumn leaves, icicles lit by Christmas lights, majestic views like the Grand Canyon, or the profound simplicity of a lone apple tree on a horizon, one can really experience the divine at creative play.
I have to go with bae and Xmac. The rules, regulations, requirements and social control exercised by most organized religions offend me. It's a good thing we have so many options.
I have to go with bae and Xmac. The rules, regulations, requirements and social control exercised by most organized religions offend me. It's a good thing we have so many options.
Yes, I just came back from a wonderful dog-walking meditation, at sunrise on a misty morning. The bird-choir was wonderful. The sermon in my head was Mary Oliver's Why I Wake Early.
Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who make the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and crotchety–
best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light–
good morning, good morning, good morning.
Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.
Those of you who go to church and find it a good experience, supportive of your spirituality and your life, with a supportive community , what kind of church (or synagogue or mosque or temple) do you go to? ... Those of you who like your worship community, exactly what is it? What do you find there?We're Unitarians. I appreciate, first and foremost, how the focus of our worship services is placed on the spirituality of the congregants, rather than directed externally, on some God construct. Much of our service is focused on sharing our lives and ourselves with each other, and building up the foundation on which we help heal our world. There's some music, some readings, some ritual - but surely acknowledged as symbolic, and the message of the symbolism is often delved into, since the point of the symbols is to remind us of some important spiritual quality - we don't let anything become about the symbolism itself. That reinforcement of our sense of purpose is yet another aspect of what we get from our worship.
Our church is also, very deliberately, a welcoming place. We're not just a religious community but we are also a community. Sharing our lives and ourselves with each other naturally builds community, fosters caring. We're losing a few members of our congregation over the next few months, as they're leaving the area, and many in our congregation feel little difference about these departures as most people would feel about a sibling's family moving out of the area.
While we have a minister, much of the ministry of the church is lay-led. I lead our small group ministry. A couple of times each month, smaller groups within our congregation (about 1/6 of our congregation participates, in six groups) meet for worship and spiritual discussion, typically in someone's home - the point being very clear that church isn't a building but it is the community itself, reaching into our homes and families. I also lead our summer worship, when our professional staff has vacation and study leave - a couple of months during which all worship is lay-led. This drives home the message that consideration of spiritual matters is not just the job of the minister, but we are all expected to engage in life-long learning and development of our spiritual understanding, at least enough to foster our own spiritual development, but also for some of us, sufficient to lead worship, offer sermons, etc. Many of our religion's congregations are wholly lay-led, with ministers brought in to offer sermons several times a month, but with the main responsibility for every aspect of ministry in the hands of laity. Settled minsters are supposed to supplement that, not replace it. That is very important to me. I see no reason to go to church to "be churched" (passive verb) - I think it is very important to go to church to "church" (active verb).
I'm gratified to see so many current or former UUs here. :)
DH and I are Unitarian-Universalist (UU) and we love it. UUs churches are basically creedless ("you can believe whatever you want" :D ) ... but respect and encourage all sincere practices, and encourage people to find a faith path that resonates with them.This is actually interesting. We've said this quite a lot, to try to impart some understanding of UU to people who are "stuck" with a traditional understanding of what religions is, but I think sometimes it does us a disservice. Our minister wrote a sermon about this:
Sometimes we Unitarian Universalists get it all wrong. Take for instance what is probably the most commonly repeated untruth regarding our faith. I hear it all the time—especially from long-time Unitarian Universalists. For the last few years, I’ve occasionally heard it from the mouths of some of our young people when they’ve finished their two-year Coming of Age Program (and that really troubles me). If you ask UUs in this congregation or any other congregation what it means to be a Unitarian Universalist, I bet a bunch of us will say: “Being a Unitarian Universalist means you can believe anything you want.”
Being a Unitarian Universalist means you can believe anything you want.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I think there is a legitimate concern that saying that our religion is creedless causes more misunderstanding that it fosters understanding of the true nature of the religion. Our minister continues:
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the spaciousness of thought that we find in our faith. Freedom is important. Freedom of thought is essential to a fulfilled life. Freedom of belief is essential to a mature faith. ... But freedom by itself, untethered and ungrounded, teeters on the chaotic. A faith that is totally free threatens to become irresponsible or irrelevant. A completely free faith is simply NOT what Unitarian Universalism tries to be.
He then goes on to explain that our religion's Seven Principles are as much of a creed as any religious creed there is. And when you dig into each of the Seven Principles, you realize that each one implies conduct that is as weighty as any conduct expected by any element of any religion's dogma.
BTW: "Unitarian" = God is One; no Trinity. "Universalist" = All are saved; God loves his creation, so no one goes to hell. UU origins are in Christianity, which continues to be the underpinnings, but UU has grown to include other belief systems.I think the best characterization of UU is "post-Christian". It's underpinnings go back to the Arians of the third century, those who stuck to the understanding that Jesus was a wise, Jewish rabbi (i.e., a man - a good man, but a man), who practiced (as we're all supposed to practice) ongoing spiritual revelation, rather than turning Jesus into part of a Trinity godhead. I love UU's rich and interesting history!
rodeosweetheart
5-15-14, 7:30am
Thank you, everyone, for these very thoughtful insights into why you worship as you do. I very much appreciate your taking the time to do this.
rodeosweetheart
5-15-14, 7:31am
And thank you all for a much better understanding of UU, no wonder my granddad was an integral part of that faith community. Interestingly, that is where my son and his wife have started attending with their baby.
Church is a safe, nonjudgemental, loving and supportive community of faith. I visit two diverse groups which are different but both serve as this type of community for me.
DH, raised in the Anglican faith, followed Bae's idea of church and was a very spiritual man. I teased him that one particular place in our woodlot with tall hardwood trees sheltering an open area with filtered sunlight was his cathedral. We scattered his ashes there and it felt so right.
iris lilies
5-15-14, 8:48am
I was raised 4th generation UU but couldn't stand church then, and now. I guess that's all I will say about my UU church experience given the preponderance of UU attendees here. And really, this thread is meant to be a positive one, which is good!
happystuff
5-15-14, 5:02pm
I've recently started attending the "first Sunday" meditation & prayer session at a Buddhist Temple. The session is followed by a class on Buddhism. While it is all still new to me, I am really enjoying it and I find I am in a much better "place" when it is time to leave.
Razz, that was a nice thing to do.
Razz, that was a nice thing to do.
Thanks for your post. The kids and their families felt the same way about that location.
"Worship" is a foreign concept to me, but I understand it when I'm surrounded by Nature. I really am a tree-hugger.
I've recently started attending the "first Sunday" meditation & prayer session at a Buddhist Temple. The session is followed by a class on Buddhism. While it is all still new to me, I am really enjoying it and I find I am in a much better "place" when it is time to leave.
I understand why people stay in Buddhism especially in the West. I have a deep abiding respect for the tradition. It's actually a warm regard and gratitude.
The core of my attitude comes from a quote that I heard attributed to the man himself, Siddhartha: 'if one finds a practice/religion that is more useful than Buddhism, then one must not only go to it, it is one's duty as a Buddhist to leave Buddhism.' That contingency did occur for me and I will always be a Buddhist also.
This is a "religion" that is so secure with the value of its teachings (or at least the Buddha was) that it would encourage one to move on in a spiritual path that did not include Buddhism. That is beyond an inclusive or open mindset and my heart is still moved by the love and dedication to truth within the Sangha, the Darhma and the Buddha.
The path leads to where we already are: home.
Happystuff, may you realize home.
My grandmother was a good-works Methodist and my mother was an agnostic Unitarian who would have made a great Buddhist if she'd encountered it. I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood where my best friend was from the only Catholic family on the block. My late husband was umpteenth generation Southern Baptist. As Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof said when his daughter wanted to marry a Gentile, "A bird may love a fish, but where will they build their house?" We ended up in a Christian Church, Disciples of Christ. I went to church with pretty much everybody over the course of my life, and this is the only one that hasn't been literally 'holier than thou'. They don't point fingers at anyone, other denominations, other lifestyles, and since finger pointing is something I can't stand, this church suits me.
I was raised Lutheran by my North European immigrant Mom (and Swedish immigrant grandparents) and attended all the church functions, bible study, etc... as a kid but never "believed" in the spiritual or religious aspects of Christianity (or any religion) so consider myself an agnostic. While I don't partake in the religious aspects of the Lutheran church (or any religious or spiritual group), I do REALLY admire them for their dedication to helping others thru many programs and try to take part in those if possible. However I have been to many different churches, synagogues, and temples (especially the local Buddhist ones as I spent a few years as a teen enmeshed in Buddhism) and enjoy most of the ceremonial aspects of them. But like Jane and Bae, I find greater inspiration and awe of the world when I'm out in nature then in a structured indoor environment.
happystuff
5-16-14, 5:14pm
The path leads to where we already are: home. Happystuff, may you realize home.
Thank you. For the first time in a long time, I actually feel like I'm getting closer to home.
Love the quote!
It reminds of some what someone once said to me. This person is a lifelong Buddhist within the Korean tradition. We were discussing religion and conversion efforts by some and I remember she said something that just really impressed me. Paraphrasing, she said "Buddhist don't try to convert others. However, if someones ASKS about Buddhism, we are more than happy to share our knowledge and experiences."
My neighbor moved in next door 20 years ago, and unless He is ill or out-of-town, it's church--all day. Goes to church Sunday mornin' , comes home for the afternoon, then goes back again in the evenin'. Also goes to church Wednesday evenin'--most of the time. It's a Southern Baptist. I live in the Bible Belt, where there is a church of some kind on every block--maybe even two. Usually, Fundamentalist, but there are all flavors. I don't know how they all stay in business, competing for Believers. God's Will, I guess. I am one of those people who apparently is not "hardwired" for religiosity, or being a joiner. I've tried various denominations, but I squirm restless-ly through a 55-minute service. To me, Christianity is the religion based on a torture and execution, and the adherents go around wearing crucifixes on a chain around their necks. Very strange. At the other end of the scale, I know people who are fanatical about Stadium Sports, Music Concerts(featuring personality-cult stars), and MegaChurch Religion. They get their kicks out of being in a crowd, I suppose. Basically though,I think the church thing boils down to fellowship with people who share your values, and for older folks who might be kinda isolated, a way to get out of the house and mingle.
bae's church looks good to me.
We go to a small UU fellowship that has no minister. We love the community and the un-churchiness. By that I mean that there is no dogma and everyone is free to be on their own path. The programs are led by member volunteers, and we bring in outside speakers most weeks, so we learn a lot about our local community and local organizations. It also has a great program for kids with a lot of support and flexibility.
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