View Full Version : Kindnesses that helped in 2010

1-1-11, 8:45pm
Since DH has had some serious health issues which are now resolved, we have met with such kindness from so many people that have made a huge difference in our lives.

The nurse practitioner working with the oncologist was amazing and supportive. The whole process of care simply flowed from one step to the next which was wonderful.

DD1 came down to be with me at a difficult time. Friends phoned with support. I learned how important it is to simply be there when someone's life is stressful.

Both DD's came down and helped with a major fall cleanup in which I was so far behind this year.

The boarding kennel just said, "simply let us know when and how long you need someone to care for the dog and we will fit him in".

Everywhere I went, it seemed that someone made life easier. I have the greatest appreciation for the human race at this time.

What do you remember and treasure about 2010?

1-2-11, 1:09pm
I think we sometimes forget how many good people there are out there. I'm so glad that some of them were there for you at such a difficult time.

I treasure the love that the staff at my daughter's group home shower on her. And the lovely scrapbook album they gave us for Christmas.

4-5-11, 2:58pm
My husband carried me on his back to the car when I broke my hip, to take me to the ER.

4-5-11, 3:36pm
Great thread!

So many people (too many to count) supported and encouraged us while my dad went through radiation for prostate cancer last year.

My neighbor, who is a dean at the college I teach for, gave me my first shot in the classroom. He believed in me, mentored me, and gave me the courage to try something new career-wise. I love what I do now and have him to thank for it.

After several months of trying to have a baby ended in a miscarriage, a kind and sympathetic nurse put her arm around me and told me not to worry--that it would happen for us. The next month, it did. :-)

Finally, my DH's old boss went to bat for him so that he could get out of a horrible position within the company. His old boss happily took him back and created a special position just for him--without giving him a paycut. DH is like a new man, and I am so grateful for what his old boss did for him (and so is he).

4-5-11, 5:44pm
Since DH has had some serious health issues which are now resolved, we have met with such kindness from so many people that have made a huge difference in our lives.

I can say, "ditto!" to your whole sentence. :) Throughout the whole kidney transplant process (from me to him, via a paired exchange chain, in December 2009, into January 2011), we had so many people come forward with acts of kindness. Everything from bringing us food after we got out of the hospital to cleaning our cats' litterbox (yeah, we have amazing friends!) to walking our dogs to rides to doctors' appointments, and on and on.

I learned such a valuable lesson about myself during all of that. I was raised to never ask for or accept help, but when the time came for us both to have surgery a day apart, clearly, I needed to change my personal view on assistance! I read a quote somewhere that really stuck with me. Something about, "Do you consider yourself a helpful person? [yes] Do you enjoy being helpful? [yes] Then do your friends a favor and let them have the pleasure of providing help when you need it."

What worked so beautifully is that the people who made concrete offers of help genuinely meant it, and since they were adults, I had to take their offers at face value. Most people offerered something that fit within their interests or skill level (i.e., people who like to cook offered meals; the cat lover offered to clean the litterbox; the shy, introverted husband of a friend offered [through his wife] to walk the dogs since he likes people better than animals; etc.).

OK, I got kinda wordy, but I still, more than a year later, feel overwhelmed with gratitude when I think about that time in our lives. I had planned, once we recovered, to throw a party and invite everyone who helped us to show our thanks. But, unfortunately, circumstances since then have made that impossible. All I could do was send thank you notes after the fact (which I did), and, because of all that I learned about the giving and receiving of help with an open heart, I am OK with that. No one helped us for a reward. They know we treasure their friendship.


iris lily
4-6-11, 9:59am
Every day that my friends don't mention I've gained 20 lbs and need to lose them, our house smells like mildew and cat box, and our obsession with little houses and gardens makes our own property suffer is a kindness. They accept our foibles.

4-6-11, 6:26pm
We had several friends who helped when my DH had his TIA and then later when they found his "incidentaloma". We go for a scan next week to see if it has grown. These friends know that I have driving anxiety and have brought us home from the hospital and have checked in with us to see how he's doing or if we need anything. Someone told us once that if you have 5 friends who would do almost anything for you then you have riches greater than gold.