Living a remarkable and/or simple life...

[Ultralight]

I am curious about your thoughts on living a remarkable life, living a simple life, and how these ways of life might intersect or diverge.

Do you aspire for a remarkable life? How does simple living serve this goal? Do you think simple living makes you more or less noteworthy and/or intriguing as a person? Does this matter?

Does simple living make it easier to live a private, quiet life? Would this be "unremarkable?"

Any thoughts are welcome. :)

[Tammy]

If I had to choose only one I'd go with remarkable cause I'm easily bored. But simple is what makes things enjoyable for me, so it's hard to imagine anything that isn't simple feeling remarkable ....

[frugal-one]

I believe we've been able to live a remarkable life because of simple living. We've travelled the world because we have not been caught up in buying excessively or keeping up with anyone. Simple living has been the pathway to realizing our dreams. It has taught me to value experiences rather than things. I believe everyone is noteworthy in their own right and simple living (or not) does not play into it.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Today? This is the type of thing that changes like the weather with me. Today? I guess I aspire to a life of personal growth though pain is inevitable, of expanding whatever talents I have, of learning, of contribution in what ways I can (which probably won't be remarkable much of the time).

I do hit burnout and need simplicity and rest sometimes though, just to do nothing, stare at nature, putter around.

[kib]

My definition of "simple living" is keeping baseline living as uncomplicated and affordable as possible while honoring my own beliefs (about right behavior, environmental responsibility and so on). Sometimes that's a balancing act as the three can be mutually exclusive, but those guidelines often work in tandem. This makes a great platform for what else one chooses to do with life, whether that's hang gliding off Mt. Everest or hanging out watching tv. I'm not sure the simple living part drives remarkableness, it just facilitates whatever sort of life you want to add on top.

[bekkilyn]

Define remarkable.

[Ultralight]

Define remarkable.

No, you; I insist. ;)

[Williamsmith]

I have been remarkable. I now prefer to be anonymous.

[Ultralight]

I have been remarkable. I now prefer to be anonymous.

Details please. :)

[goldensmom]

Define remarkable. If it's the Merriam-Webster definition of 'worthy of being or likely to be noticed especially as being uncommon or extraordinary' than I am with <Williamsmith> and prefer anonymity. It's the worthy and noticed parts I don't like.

[pinkytoe]

Isn't what we consider "remarkable" a social construct? Wealth, fame, worldly travels, wondrous deeds. In that sense, I will never be remarkable and that's just fine with me. In the grand scheme of things, we are all pretty unremarkable, right?

[rodeosweetheart]

Or we are all remarkable, n'est ce pas? We think, we breathe, we heal, we perceive, we love, we desire, we hope, we reach out to the Divine.
Quite remarkable.

[kib]

It does make a difference whether we're using the literal definition of remarkable, which is something observably noteworthy of remarks by others, or the less literal one, which would be closer to "extraordinary", whether visible to the public or not. I would consider the millionaires-next-door to be extraordinary, but intentionally Not 'remarkable'. To add, there are remarkable people and then there are remarkable lives, not necessarily the same thing at all.

[Ultralight]

There is a the literal definition of remarkable, 'something notable enough to be remarked upon', but I think the subtler definition is a life outside the ordinary, whether visible to the public or not. I'll reiterate my thought: A simple baseline streamlines and facilitates any kind of life one chooses, ordinary or extraordinary. To add, there are remarkable people and then there are remarkable lives, not necessarily the same thing at all.

I agree with much of this and find it thought-provoking as well...

[Williamsmith]

To me "remarkable" means standing out as worthy of mention. Unfortunately the kinds of things that get focused on by media outlets as remarkable are merely attention getters. There is a difference.

[Ultralight]

Do you think that your peers or friends or families would say of you that you live a remarkable life?

[catherine]

I've just read Wayne Dyer's autobiography. I've read a few of his books being the self-help fan that I am, and this question made me think of him.

His thing was that everyone should reach up and out and be the best, most self-actualized person they could be. So, everyone should be remarkable in their own ways.

I waffle when I read him because he truly has helped so many people with his writings, but I feel the transparency behind the books is a man whose life was driven by SOMETHING: and even he says, a lot of it was ego. So you can say, I'm living a fearless life, I'm doing this wonderful thing or that wonderful thing, but what is driving that? A desire for success? For attention? Or are you motivated by altruism or desire to make something better, whether it's an architectural style, or a better mousetrap.

In his books, Dyer says an attitude and desire to serve others should drive your "remarkable" life--and I'm sure that motivation does end up in some remarkable ways--ways that don't go viral. I do believe that a remarkable life is personal success at living the life you were meant to live, and maybe only you know it.

I think of some of the saints, or people who devoted their lives to sick, or the underclass, or their patients or students. I had a lot of remarkable teachers, but you'll never find them on a Wikipedia page.

[Ultralight]

Or we are all remarkable, n'est ce pas? We think, we breathe, we heal, we perceive, we love, we desire, we hope, we reach out to the Divine.
Quite remarkable.

Kind of a nice thought. I like it. Though I don't reach out to anything divine, except a divine slice of pizza!;)

[Geila]

I think we are all unique and none of us are special. Most of us are average, and luck has more to do with our life experiences than we realize. I admire people who are willing to sacrifice their own comfort for the well-being of others; that's remarkable because most of us are not willing to do it. Choosing to live a simple life, especially if we have the resources to have what I would call a "luxurious simple life" is not remarkable, nor is it noteworthy, in my opinion. People have done it for eons. And millions of people live simply because that is the life they were born into, without an option to change it. The fact that we choose it doesn't make us remarkable; that seems awfully arrogant to me. Maybe it makes us a bit more practical and common-sense folk, but not remarkable. It also makes us very, very lucky, that we have the option and the means to choose what kind of life we want to have.

[Ultralight]

Choosing to live a simple life, especially if we have the resources to have what I would call a "luxurious simple life" is not remarkable, nor is it noteworthy, in my opinion. People have done it for eons. And millions of people live simply because that is the life they were born into, without an option to change it. The fact that we choose it doesn't make us remarkable; that seems awfully arrogant to me.

Now this is especially interesting...

[Geila]

Do you think that your peers or friends or families would say of you that you live a remarkable life?

I think most people would say I have an average life, which I do, according to Western standards. However, I have a very lucky, and very abundant life, when compared to the world population. This is why I find the common U.S. practice of complaining about everything under the sun tiresome and annoying. We are so freakin' lucky in this country, what is all the complaining about? :confused:

[Ultralight]

I think most people would say I have an average life, which I do, according to Western standards. However, I have a very lucky, and very abundant life, when compared to the world population. This is why I find the common U.S. practice of complaining about everything under the sun tiresome and annoying. We are so freakin' lucky in this country, what is all the complaining about? :confused:

It is nice to hear that you have a luck, abundant, average life.

I have a friend in Nairobi, Kenya. She was born there and lives there now. She tells me about her life and it often puts things into perspective.

With that said, my friends and family call me an "extremist." I am not sure the qualifies as remarkable though. haha

[TVRodriguez]

I think we are all unique and none of us are special. Most of us are average, and luck has more to do with our life experiences than we realize. I admire people who are willing to sacrifice their own comfort for the well-being of others; that's remarkable because most of us are not willing to do it. Choosing to live a simple life, especially if we have the resources to have what I would call a "luxurious simple life" is not remarkable, nor is it noteworthy, in my opinion. People have done it for eons. And millions of people live simply because that is the life they were born into, without an option to change it. The fact that we choose it doesn't make us remarkable; that seems awfully arrogant to me. Maybe it makes us a bit more practical and common-sense folk, but not remarkable. It also makes us very, very lucky, that we have the option and the means to choose what kind of life we want to have.

Yes! YES to all of this. Each of us is unique, and none of us is special. [I made the mistake of saying that at a dinner party one time and got pounced on for "telling so-and-so that she's not special."]

[Ultralight]

Y[I made the mistake of saying that at a dinner party one time and got pounced on for "telling so-and-so that she's not special."]

Wait, what?

[ApatheticNoMore]

The term remarkable strikes the wrong note with me too, I see it as grandiose, but meh, overly humble isn't always best either, maybe sometimes just a little bit of grandiose is needed (just don't become Donald Trump mkay, that's taking it way too far! :)).


I think most people would say I have an average life, which I do, according to Western standards. However, I have a very lucky, and very abundant life, when compared to the world population. This is why I find the common U.S. practice of complaining about everything under the sun tiresome and annoying. We are so freakin' lucky in this country, what is all the complaining about?

I don't believe this. Why? Because Maslow. I really don't think it's enough for people just to have their physical needs met (1 and 2 on the hierarchy I guess) and they should be grateful for that. Meh, ok maybe this is about my childhood where I was continually told it should be so when pretty much all my emotional needs were neglected. And I don't think it really helps beyond a certain point to put things in context, ok I do think it helps to a certain point to actually know what context one lives in, to have some basic social awareness of the local and world systems one lives in, otherwise one is blind, but it still doesn't solve anything. For instance telling yourself people are unemployed and homeless (which is obvious enough) doesn't say make a bad job better if you really should try to leave it for instance.

I'm not sure what is the solution (for themselves) for people who complain about everything. A much better life? Perhaps. They usually think so, sometimes it might be. If only enough people are complained to enough someone will surely have the answer ... Knowing they have it better than many? I don't think that solves anything. Just not complaining? Well it might make the people around them happier, but not them. But the complaining just goes round and round and never gets anywhere? Lately I suspect the answer is to cry. That the grief advocates have it right. At least grief eventually resolves (one knows this because they know even the death of the closest loved one one eventually comes to terms with, maybe not in the time period society wants always, but eventually). To cry the pain is to admit one hurts no matter how good it may be compared to people in the rest of the world (in the same way it hurts to lose someone even if they lived healthily to 105 years old). One's pain is one's very own pain of one's very own self and it's losses and wants and desires, not pain in some global context, though crying isn't always accessible, yea I don't know what to do about that. one can just try to cry if they are enough pain to be complaining about everything.

[TVRodriguez]

Wait, what?

I didn't say "Mary, you are not special." One of the women had just retired from an administrative position at a company and was talking about how the company had given her some very nice "parting gifts," saying that it made her feel appreciated, and that she knew that she was not a superstar at the company--that she was nothing special. This led to a discussion of how all of us can contribute in our own way, even if we're not the superstar.

I had just handled an estate of a man who had worked as a doctor and who died with millions but with no one who went to his funeral. I had to sort through his things, and I was struck by the impression that he lived his life and was left at the end very much alone. That the cockroaches in his apartment were the only ones who would miss him. That we are all no more than cockroaches in fact. Perhaps less than, considering the impact we have on the earth and others. And that all we can do is to do our best to make life worthwhile for ourselves and others while we are here. That this man may have helped lots of people as a physician, and he may have kept accurate records of his money, but that he had nothing at the end, had no one who cared for or about him, even though he "succeeded" on a financial level. This distilled in my mind to the sense that, even though he might have been thought to be "special," due his intellect, profession, finances, he was in the end not at all special.

So what I said was, "all of us are special, and yet none of us is special." And I got reprimanded by another woman in the group for telling "Mary" that she was not special. I figured no one wanted to hear my "we are all cockroaches" speech, so I stopped talking.

[TVRodriguez]

Lately I suspect the answer is to cry. That the grief advocates have it right. At least grief eventually resolves (one knows this because they know even the death of the closest loved one one eventually comes to terms with, maybe not in the time period society wants always, but eventually). To cry the pain is to admit one hurts no matter how good it may be compared to people in the rest of the world (in the same way it hurts to lose someone even if they lived healthily to 105 years old). One's pain is one's very own pain of one's very own self and it's losses and wants and desires, not pain in some global context, though crying isn't always accessible.

Everyone complains at their own level. I used to hate it when DH would try to "cheer me up" by telling me that I should be grateful that I don't live in a warzone, and that children are dying all over the world. How does that make me feel better? That makes me feel worse! For one thing, now I'm sad about those kids, and I'm feeling guilty for just having a bad day and complaining at all. He has since stopped doing that, and I have also started to complain a lot less. I do feel fortunate most of the time. Because I am.

[Ultralight]

I didn't say "Mary, you are not special." One of the women had just retired from an administrative position at a company and was talking about how the company had given her some very nice "parting gifts," saying that it made her feel appreciated, and that she knew that she was not a superstar at the company--that she was nothing special. This led to a discussion of how all of us can contribute in our own way, even if we're not the superstar.

I had just handled an estate of a man who had worked as a doctor and who died with millions but with no one who went to his funeral. I had to sort through his things, and I was struck by the impression that he lived his life and was left at the end very much alone. That the cockroaches in his apartment were the only ones who would miss him. That we are all no more than cockroaches in fact. Perhaps less than, considering the impact we have on the earth and others. And that all we can do is to do our best to make life worthwhile for ourselves and others while we are here. That this man may have helped lots of people as a physician, and he may have kept accurate records of his money, but that he had nothing at the end, had no one who cared for or about him, even though he "succeeded" on a financial level. This distilled in my mind to the sense that, even though he might have been thought to be "special," due his intellect, profession, finances, he was in the end not at all special.

So what I said was, "all of us are special, and yet none of us is special." And I got reprimanded by another woman in the group for telling "Mary" that she was not special. I figured no one wanted to hear my "we are all cockroaches" speech, so I stopped talking.

Wow... not where I thought that was going. I thought maybe you were with a family and they were angry about you implying or saying that their kid was not special.

[Geila]

I figured no one wanted to hear my "we are all cockroaches" speech, so I stopped talking.

Funny!!! :laff::laff::laff: I use the ant analogy, but I suspect you are right and ants are offended by it. :) Recently I started calling us large bacteria, in that we seem to have the same destructive qualities, but even bacteria are smart enough to protect their host, which we are not.

We humans have this desire to be special, I suspect that it's a learned belief though, because I know many people who are quite content to be ordinary. We are all ordinary! And that's okay. In fact, that's a good thing. :) We don't have to be special to be wonderful, lovable, compassionate, loving people. And we certainly don't have to be special to have a happy and meaningful life.

[JaneV2.0]

Maybe the doctor was perfectly happy to be alone. Anyone can surround themselves with other people, if that's their preference. I'm always skeptical when people make assumptions about other people's lonely, pathetic lives.

[Ultralight]

Maybe the doctor was perfectly happy to be alone. Anyone can surround themselves with other people, if that's their preference. I'm always skeptical when people make assumptions about other people's lonely, pathetic lives.

I am a lone wolf. It is rare that I ever get bored. With that said though, I am very involved in my community. I am an active member of several groups (minimalists, environmental, simple living, atheist, etc.). But I can only take so much of it! Then I need massive amounts of alone time.

I think "loners" are wired differently than the average "people person."

[Gardenarian]

Do you think that your peers or friends or families would say of you that you live a remarkable life?

I like this. The most remarkable person I have known was not famous or at the top of any particular field of endeavor. He led a simple life and was skilled in many ways, was always cheerful, had a million stories, was generous, kind, and very loved. I feel so lucky to have been his friend. His father was a German Nazi soldier, and I think in part he lived as he did to make up for the guilt he felt on behalf of his father.

People who know me well would say I'm remarkable because I have rather severe hidden disabilities; if you had seen me as a young person you would not have predicted a sunny future. To anyone else it appears a successful but not extraordinary life. My driving motivation has been to be accepted as normal, which a lot of people get to take for granted.

I would like to be REMARKABLE in the dictionary sense, but certainly not a celebrity, not the kind of person who is famous for being famous. I should think living simply would make it easier to live an exceptional life, because the essence of simple living is only doing those things that are truly important to you. Can you imagine Helen Keller or Thomas Edison or John Muir spending days shopping at the mall, or commuting hours each way to a meaningless job?

[JaneV2.0]

I am a lone wolf. It is rare that I ever get bored. With that said though, I am very involved in my community. I am an active member of several groups (minimalists, environmental, simple living, atheist, etc.). But I can only take so much of it! Then I need massive amounts of alone time.

I think "loners" are wired differently than the average "people person."

Likewise.

[Gardenarian]

I think "loners" are wired differently than the average "people person."

Yes, and I think loners are not the same as introverts.

[Ultralight]

Yes, and I think loners are not the same as introverts.

Pleased explain. Intrigued.

[TVRodriguez]

Maybe the doctor was perfectly happy to be alone. Anyone can surround themselves with other people, if that's their preference. I'm always skeptical when people make assumptions about other people's lonely, pathetic lives.

You are correct, and he may have been quite content. I still found it sad that no one he knew was willing to attend his funeral. He was buried without ceremony, attended only by the funeral director.

[Gardenarian]

Pleased explain. Intrigued.

A lot of people score as introverts on those personality tests (though I don't think it's really an either/or thing, more of a spectrum.)
Lone wolves have overcome their innate shyness and are able to interact socially quite well, but understand their nature. They carefully choose where to put their social energy, and are content with being solitary. This contrasts with the normal view of introverts as being awkward and fearful of other people. Loners use their natural talent for seclusion and privacy as a strength, not a weakness.

[JaneV2.0]

I haven't attended a funeral since I was in my twenties. Most people I know--including my parents--had either a memorial service or nothing at all. I'm surprised he wanted one.

[Ultralight]

A lot of people score as introverts on those personality tests (though I don't think it's really an either/or thing, more of a spectrum.)
Lone wolves have overcome their innate shyness and are able to interact socially quite well, but understand their nature. They carefully choose where to put their social energy, and are content with being solitary. This contrasts with the normal view of introverts as being awkward and fearful of other people. Loners use their natural talent for seclusion and privacy as a strength, not a weakness.

Quite an intriguing thought there...

[Ultralight]

I haven't attended a funeral since I was in my twenties. Most people I know--including my parents--had either a memorial service or nothing at all. I'm surprised he wanted one.

I was just thinking I am totally fine with having no funeral service. I am not that big of a deal! haha

When I die I mostly just want someone to take care of my dog.

[JaneV2.0]

A lot of people score as introverts on those personality tests (though I don't think it's really an either/or thing, more of a spectrum.)
Lone wolves have overcome their innate shyness and are able to interact socially quite well, but understand their nature. They carefully choose where to put their social energy, and are content with being solitary. This contrasts with the normal view of introverts as being awkward and fearful of other people. Loners use their natural talent for seclusion and privacy as a strength, not a weakness.

I'm very much an introvert. I can mingle at will, but most of the time I don't want to. (Hey--I was a Pi Phi! Where's that rolling on the floor emoji when you need it?) I'm dismayed that people believe introverts are "awkward and fearful." That hasn't been my experience at all.

[TVRodriguez]

I was just thinking I am totally fine with having no funeral service. I am not that big of a deal! haha

When I die I mostly just want someone to take care of my dog.

In my experience, a funeral or memorial service is not for the decedent but is for the living, to share their memories of the dead.

When my mother was dying, she made it clear that she didn't care if we buried or cremated her remains ("Surprise me!" she said), but she knew that my dad would want a place to visit, so she asked that we take that into account. She was remarkable.

[Ultralight]

I know I probably shouldn't do this, but when I see that so many of my old friends from college have gone on to do interesting or important things, I can't help feel... I dunno, not jealous so much, but maybe that I am either lazy or not especially clever or talented or something. haha

But on the other hand I do feel kind of proud of them:

-One friend opened up a successful BnB/art gallery/studio
-Another friend opened a successful brewery
-A different friend is a big time photographer
-One of my good friends from college became a big union boss at SEIU
-Numerous friends went on to work in renewable energy or higher education or the non-profit sector in positions that are quite interesting and noteworthy
-Yet another friend became a really good immigration lawyer down in Texas

I could go on and on.

The strange thing is that during college, I was their leader. Now they have gone way, way beyond me.

[frugal-one]

They chose the stressful life.... you have not would be my take on it.

[Ultralight]

They chose the stressful life.... you have not would be my take on it.

That is a dang good point! :cool:

[Rogar]

I don't think that the traditional definitions of success necessarily coincide with with a happy life or one well lived. There are tons of everyday heroes that are probably unremarkable to most who might meet them. People who care for sick relatives or friends, or overcome personal obstacles and handicaps, or volunteer for things that matter to them, parenting good kids, or maybe just live a life that is true to their beliefs even though they are different from the mainstream. I know a lot of "successful" people who are unhappy, have substance abuse issues, or are unhealthy from just plain working too hard and not living a well rounded lifestyle.

[rodeosweetheart]

There are tons of everyday heroes that are probably unremarkable to most who might meet them. People who care for sick relatives or friends, or overcome personal obstacles and handicaps, or volunteer for things that matter to them, parenting good kids, or maybe just live a life that is true to their beliefs even though they are different from the mainstream.

So true!!!