View Full Version : I Haven't Had Enough of "Enough".
davidmcowan
4-10-11, 2:44pm
I've been coerced into posting here. :)
I loved the Enough subforum at the old host and found great inspiration in it. Recently, my wife and I have decided to put the screws to our simple living beliefs (that, unchecked, sometimes got a little untame) and done away with the TV, buying (other than necessities), internet "time-wasters" such as Facebook and Craigslist, and trying to eliminate use of our second car by relying mainly on our bicycles.
I'm not sure what was the "enough" moment, it was only a week ago, but so far so splendid! I've finished so many unfinished projects around the house, have had great evenings and dinners with the family, and we are starting to move from being bored to getting creative.
How about you all? What kinds of things did you do after an "enough" moment that improved your lives drastically?
The biggest things that come to mind for us...
--stop eating out
--stopped buying too many clothes
--stopped----not buying enough good food to eat at home
--stopped buying junk food
--stopped shopping for just for the sake of shopping
--stopped planting annuals now plant perrrenials and food
That is all I can think of for now
Welcome, David!
I purged half of my personal belongings last year, and it was awesome. Made life so much simpler! :-) I've also found a lot of joy in making a home--meals from scratch, gardening, decorating/organizing with what I already have. Oh, and making weekly trips to the library.
Thank you, David, for helping me recognize that "having enough" is, in & of itself, a success story!
I've been thinking about this & realizing how much gratitude I now have for the things & non things that are now in my world, and all the while I've been making such efforts to downsize, declutter, to get down to what Really Matters, in terms of possessions & any other arena.
Ten years ago when I moved into a very small space I made the discovery of the total pleasure of living with fewer things. At that point, because of necessity, I put limits on how many books I could fit into my bookshelf, how many clothes would fit into the space I had, etc., and thus began the "freedom of limitations" for me. And now, with the help of all the ideas & ways of living that folks on these forums share, I'm challenging myself in new ways, finding new ways to think about things, new ways to meet needs, etc. All of this IS a success, and thanks for helping me define it as such!
David
Thanks for posting. This was always my favorite subforum on the old board and have been dismayed by the lack of activity here. It too always found it highly inspirational.
And a special thanks to whoever "coerced" you
Living for six weeks at my little self-imposed hermitage (see my latest blog entry--URL in signature line), I have found such joy in Enough!!! This is a very small cottage--3 rooms, but really like a big studio, as there's no bedroom door. TV, but basic cable, no dishwasher, old fashioned stove, coffeemaker, etc.
I brought with me
two pairs of slacks
4 turtlenecks
two cardigans
two pairs yoga pants and tops
one business suit which includes slacks and skirt and jacket
two pairs flats (one black, one brown)
"enough" "incidentals" (too modest to be specific here)
my favorite beads made by Ugandan women as part of an empowerment venture
one pair pjs
one robe
toothpaste and toothbrush
makeup bag with only one of each thing I need to feel presentable
two towels and face cloths
one set of sheets
shampoo, conditioner, blow dryer, velcro rollers
My grains and legumes (when I told my daughter this after I said that I had just grabbed random stuff to bring here, she said, "random" doesn't even begin to capture it)--lentils, barley and black beans. Who can live without lentils and barley????
Bhagavad Gita
Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton
Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila
My Kindle
Computer
Mouse
Printer
iPhone
Plastic box with current bills and other "to-dos" including bank deposit slips, checkbooks, bills, and tax stuff.
One photo of my family
One keepsake from each kid
A painting of the sea by my alcoholic, well-meaning, talented but destitute brother
Anyway, that's about it. And I have lived SO happily with just this. Have not needed a THING. In fact, I have a clarity of mind that is unprecedented.
I go home on Thursday. I VOW to give all my unnecessary CR*P to the church flea market. Am also thinking of buying a NeatReceipts so I can scan and electronically store all the necessary paper that clutters up my office--unnecessary stuff is out with the recycling.
Enough moments?
~ the fourth child
~ leaving my husband and the farm with a week's worth of clothes for each of us, a few pots and a couch (the couch wasn't really necessary, in hindsight)
~ realizing that I have everything I need for me and my kids right now, all the rest is bonus
~ getting rid of the TV
~ having awesome, affordable healthcare through my employer
~ not needing to use the healthcare for over a year
~ have had four close family/friends/co-workers diagnosed with cancer in past 2 years....so far all are still alive :)
~ knowing how amazingly blest I am
Sumarie, I love your phrase "freedom of limitations," which is what I've also discovered. When space AND money is limited, it frees up one's mind from countless internal debates over what/when to acquire the next thing. Less stuff means less cleaning, less time spent searching for things, less visual noise, less to worry about losing, less to feel guilty over NOT using, and so on.
I have also found myself telling myself to "have the courage to be patient" in all sorts of situations. In the past, I used to get so anxious (fearful, really) about not having some "need" (really just a passing craving) satisfied immediately, I would be too impatient to just let the desire come and go. Instead, I would act immediately and gratify some false need by buying crap or otherwise accumulating some object to try to fill the inner void. In doing this, not only did I falsely medicate (much less cure) the underlying problem (loneliness, fear), but I would also lose BIG bucks by not being williing to search for good deals, buy second-hand, or, best yet, wait until the desire faded and not buy anything at all.
My lack of patience and rush to "closure" on things showed up in my life in other ways, such as bailing on relationships and jobs too quickly. Now I am much more conscious about trying to only share my life with people AND things who are likely to be there for "the long haul," which means buying quality, well-made objects that will last, and cutting people more slack instead of rushing to judgment.
The one thing that I HAVE had enough of is DEBT! I NEVER want to go back to those days of having that giant responsibility hanging over me, which is essentially being a slave to one's own past. Moving forward, or even standing still, is much easier and more pleasant than trying to walk forwards while turned backwards!
Oh wow, Selah, I was just about to post a "success" and here is your post full of wisdom (gathered, of course, through experiences of life's successes and failures). In your first paragraph you totally captured some discoveries I made living in just such a situation. And thanks for sharing your recognition of the anxiety that can happen when we're afraid we can't do without something -- which turns out to be impatience and the quick impulse to "fix" something right now. (in my Year of not Buying New, it helped me to write down what I would buy as soon as my time was up. The year is almost up, and my list has had some additions, and then some scratching out as I've figured out other ways to deal with the "need", or in many cases, I just LOST the "need" altogether. This feels like another "freedom".)
Anyway, the success I wanted to report was that I finished counting all my "things"! I learned much in doing this, just as I hoped I would. Now that I have the list I have the opportunity to look at it & ask myself questions about it (a la Miss Minimalist, and many others). I have marked a "U" and an "L" next to each item depending upon whether I use it and love it. (the items with no letter beside them are the ones to reconsider whether they deserve a place in my world). Since part of the reason for doing this count stems from encouragement from the YMOYL thread, I have written down the $ value of these items. I've discovered duplicates, and impossible (or unlikely) "dream" objects that I can either make a concerted effort to attend to, or pass along. I'm still working with it, asking myself questions, but it feels great to have completed this & I have a renewed sense of direction towards what needs attention. Thank you, everyone, for "being there" -- I know you are too numerous to count!
@sumarie--I LOVE your idea of putting the U and L next to items on your list. I may try that the next time I need to do a big purge. I think it would allow me to be honest in a detached kind of way (i.e. not holding the item in my hands and being persuaded by emotion). :-)
Kat, I got the idea that the list would make me look at my stuff in a different way from you! And, you were right about the detachment, and the simple fact that seeing things on a list just makes things look, well, different -- and opens up other possibilities. The U and L helped me see for sure which things I really did use and love. Today I looked again at the list & wrote an R next to items that, should something happen to them, I would replace. This has helped me see what I NEED (& the number of these items was so much smaller than my total number!) -- as well as the recognition that some items, should they disappear, would simply be irreplaceable (personal art work, special gifts, etc.). Also, if I imagined all my clothes somehow disappearing, when I thought of what I would need to replace, it tended to be a made up number of what I consider "enough", so I see that at present I have MORE than enough clothing, for example.
Another idea is a B or G, for whether an item was something I bought, or was given to me. The B helped me see how I've spent my money. The G helped identify whether I was hanging onto something simply BECAUSE it was a gift -- or sometimes engendered a feeling of gratitude for the care of loved ones.
Oh, I love that B and G idea, too! The Bs would be serve as a reminder to me that I have enough and don't need to buy more, and the Gs would help me to look at the item more critically. Is it something I actually love and use, or am I only holding on to it because someone gave it to me and I feel guilty giving it up?
Ah, good stuff, sumarie! :-)
OK I LOVE the B/G (I'm going to add and I for Inherit, which makes up the bulk of my posessions) and U/L ideas! I think I've lived with other people's stuff for so long it sometimes doesn't even occur to me that I could get rid of it and replace it with something I love, or not replace it at all. My living room for example, is decorated with pictures of Paris my mom and Grandma had. Nothing against Paris, but it does tend to make me think of the smarmy frenchman my mom ran off with. Hmmm. I don't want to hijack this thread any further, but I think I'll start my own thread about stuff and it's stuff drama.
This list thing really worked with DH.
He was complaining about now having enough clothing (he has more clothing than I do), and so i told him to make a list of what he has, and then from there, a list of what he needs. Once he made a list of what he had, the only thing that we came up with that he would need is: 1 warmer sweater; 1 warm pjs (sweats, we think); some new socks. He seemed quite pleased that he didn't really need anything. We also discovered that some of his clothing needs repair -- like his suit needs to be hemmed, as the hem fell out. He rarely wears the suit, but it's good to have it in good repair for when it is used.
I did the same, and it's worked well for me. I only need to replace two shirts that are now rags. So, that's good. :D
That's awesome, Zoebird! I am going to do the same thing with my clothes after I have the baby. Even if I am able to lose the pregnancy weight, my body will likely be different, and I am not expecting that all of my pre-pregnancy clothes will fit. So I plan to make a list of all that fits to see if I really even need to fill in anywhere. I probably won't, but I know I will feel like I do until I see it all written down. :-)
I already started a list of the baby clothes I have so that i don't accumulate too much of that, either.
Lists rock!
What an awesome thread!!! I'm still new here and discovering things every visit.
I had enough of being under someone else's thumb after a series of really craaaapy jobs. I longed to be free...from what? Everything??? You need some money, but...
I took it one step at a time. I kept a journal about every little thing I did or used from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning. Then I did a web search for homemade __ to see if there was a cheaper way of getting/making what I needed/wanted. It felt good to learn that I could make substitutions for so many things I'd been buying at the store. A gradual diet change (more vegetarian meals, recipes using less meat, more beans, etc) was pretty easy. Gardening/freezing extra, planning ahead..we eat better for less $$.
I've never been a shopper, so that helped. I donated all my dressy work clothes, high heels and purses. My every day clothes are my gardening and work clothes. Jeans and any t-shirt or sweatshirt will work. I have chipped fingernails and chicken poo stuck on the bottom of my shoes, but I don't care. The kids bring all their clothing donation bags here first. We pick out what we want, then donate the rest.
Next step is to loosen the grip from the local power company. We already installed wood burners, cut downed or dead trees, but buy some wood. Passive solar space heaters using scrounged materials is next! I'm already scrounging materials to make three VAWTS.
I discovered that I didn't have to go back to the stone age to live cheaply and sanely.
frugal-one
9-11-11, 1:01pm
Wow.. that's impressive. I was thinking about getting estimates on solar panels. Any idea how to start? Where to look?
A guy on another forum raves about this company and products:
http://www.morningstarcorp.com/en/home
He buys them through Wind/sun.com and the charger is called the SunSaver 10, 10 amp charge controller, ss-10-12v, (by Morningstar). He said that it's easy to keep adding to the system as you can afford the panels. He's living off grid now, with ONE solar panel! Talk about scaled back.
I have a love for passive solar - you get more bang for your buck with that. Different types of 'heaters' can be built using scrounged materials and they don't have to look bad on the house, either.
I also have a strong desire for scrap heap VAWTS - Vertical Axis Wind Turbines. A lot less efficient than the typical wind turbines, but can be made by anyone with basic tools and knowledge, low to the ground (no towers required), can be made relatively inexpensively, and the faster the wind blows, the more power is created and stored in batteries (instead of shutting down like HAWTS)
http://builditsolar.com has tons of plans, articles, etc etc. One of my favorite sites.
(Climbing off soap box now)
As I said, for me, it's all one step at a time. Anything I can make or create (like one watt) still lessens my dependency on some corporation. I don't have to take the dirty clothes to the creek and pound them on a rock, either. Hey, I have standards. :o)
frugal-one
9-12-11, 4:16pm
Thanks Marianne.. I passed this on to my DH. I think he will be the decision maker here.
granola19
9-26-11, 12:36am
What a great thread!
I had ENOUGH with working a full time research job and two small children. Everyone was miserable. No time for each other, no time to do what was really important, just shuttling back and forth from daycare to job to daycare to home and collapsing until we did it all again the next day. I am LOVING being a Stay at Home Mom! Some "enough" adjustments we have made that I can't get enough of:
No cable TV - don't miss it at all. probably dropping the Netflix too, we are finding other things to do instead.
No book store - discovered our local library, and endless source of entertainment and knowledge including interlibrary loan for our whole state!
Less packaged food - cooking from scratch, baking from scratch, making snacks from scratch. Suprisingly fulfulling work and great tasting.
More gardening - I am still a novice gardener and have made a lot of mistakes but it is really enjoyable and we can hopefully get things going successfully in the next couple of seasons.
homeschooling - no worrying about more expensive housing, school supplie lists, teacher's gifts, fundraisers, ect. We are living and learning!
natural healing - we do have basic health insurance for vaccinations and big things but the world of herbal and natural healing has really opened my eyes to the way food, herbs and lifestyle changes can cure SO many of our basic health problems without having to pay a doctor's bill.
Some other "enough" things that I want to do but haven't mastered yet but hope too in 2012 -
-brewing beer
-yogurt making
-preserving and canning
flowerseverywhere
9-26-11, 1:47pm
all I can say is thanks for all the great tips and ideas. I love the Used/Loved/Inherited idea as well as Bought/Given. What a great way to evaluate what you have and what you use and need.
We have decided to sell our house in the spring and all of these ideas will be a huge help to me this winter as I go through each closet and drawer. I have been decluttering for quite a while so it isn't bad here, and we don't shop, but we'll really have to evaluate what we will pay to move.
Granola19, great list. Also, thanks for the solar ideas.
When we sold our house a few years ago we started a "free" area near our house but not so close that it made people uncomfortable to stop at it. I even painted a little sign. We put hundreds of pounds of useful things there that we didn't need to bring or store for our new home. We had regular customers who stopped twice a day to see what we put out. It was all based on the weather so things wouldn't be ruined by getting wet. We even helped folks put things in their cars/trucks sort of pretending that we were assisitng in cleaning out the property as opposed to being the owners which seemed to help with the comfort level of the gleaners. I have passed this on to several friends who have used it very successfully. It's even fun to see how long something is there before it gets picked up...sometimes it was only a few minutes. We did this for several months before we moved out. I also used this for clearing out the useful things from my mother's house after she died.
Love this thread! Thanks for all the great ideas, especially helpful as I contemplate selling my home w/large yard and moving to a smaller home. Hardest for me is parting with all the school papers, artwork and stories created by the children, especially since They still like to open their former boxes (by school year) to travel done memory lane of "when I was little" (even though they are not yet teens, Lol!)
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