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TxZen
12-11-15, 10:45am
A few months ago, I helped a friend clean out her garage and master bedroom. Short story- hubby decided he didn't want to be married anymore, left her with a huge house and stack of bills, kids, etc..everything...she has been struggling and asked for my help to sort out her life for a yard sale.

So after 3 days of intense purging and organizing, we fill a 3 bay garage with stuff to sell. What triggered this chaotic cleanse was she said to me "I want to live now. I don't want to lament over this stuff for years and miss my life."

I was so proud of her for being so strong and resilient in a time of such tragedy.

In the past 6 months, I have watched her completely purge her home, sell it, move her kids to a smaller home and set up a simple house. She has started running and just ran her first half marathon. She has endured losing friends and family who blame her or just don't like her changes in her life and she is completing her Masters in Special Education just to challenge herself. She is my shero right now!!!

My point of all of this is to live now y'all. Want to purge that house of EVERYTHING?? Do it. Want to lose weight? Do it..Want to travel? Do it.

get to getting and live life NOW!!

She has motivated me so much do live life on full throttle for me.

catherine
12-11-15, 10:47am
Awesome!!!

Thanks for the inspiring story!

mamalatte
12-11-15, 10:54am
Yes, very inspiring, thanks! :)

Float On
12-11-15, 10:59am
Very good example.

TxZen
12-11-15, 11:18am
I am off to paint my guest bathroom turquoise. :) And I am going to finally stain my tv stand. And it's also time to take a LONNNNNNNNGGGGG walk.

Teacher Terry
12-11-15, 1:07pm
Great story! It always seems that when people make big life changes some people no longer want to be their friend. I think they don't want to start facing their own issues, etc so better to run away. Glad your friend is doing so well.

rodeosweetheart
12-11-15, 1:10pm
That sounds great! Good advice.

TxZen
12-11-15, 1:15pm
Great story! It always seems that when people make big life changes some people no longer want to be their friend. I think they don't want to start facing their own issues, etc so better to run away. Glad your friend is doing so well.

I really would like to explore this because the SAME thing happened to me. People dropped out of my life like flies. It's an interesting dynamic.

Gardenarian
12-11-15, 1:18pm
Thanks for the lift!

Some of the changes I want to make involve spending small amounts of money, and I am sometimes TOO frugal. It's worth buying the fabric to make curtains that will keep my room warmer and prettier. It's worth spending a few bucks on holiday lights to jazz up my popcorn and construction paper decorations. It's worth it to plant flower bulbs and put in plants that make me smile.

Live now! I'll try!

Ultralight
12-11-15, 1:19pm
This part is just amazing! :idea:


"I want to live now. I don't want to lament over this stuff for years and miss my life."

rodeosweetheart
12-11-15, 1:21pm
Gardenarian, I have been feeling that same draw lately, and am opting for spending the money--just bought a new Rowenta iron today and plan to spend the afternoon trying it out.
I have never regretted the money I spend on bulbs in the fall, when I have tulips and lilies in the spring!

TxZen
12-16-15, 7:21pm
Went to visit her today. She found a small house outside county lines to live in. So cute!!! She painted it a soft white and has just what her and kids need for decoration. She has a simple tree up and about 5-6 other things out for Christmas. This was the lady whose house I went to just 2 years ago and had every room decorated for Christmas. She had the lights outside professionally installed. It was beautiful and she told me she donated all the items to a local children's home. HOW NICE!!!! She really inspired me to cut my Christmas decor to one box for decorations and one box for lights.

We spent about an hour sorting through some boxes she had with stuff in it. I took what she did not want to AMVETS. Then we reorganized her kitchen, to help her work with it better. It was fun and she decluttered 6 items!!! She really is inspiring because she is 42 and starting over and not afraid and is so happy. :)

Teacher Terry
12-16-15, 7:57pm
When my hubby & I semi-retired we lost some of our friends. A couple actually left me a long message at work trying to talk us out of it. Also we downsized our home and they thought that was a big mistake. They were really jealous that we had small pensions but they chose to be self employed instead. They could have worked for the government like we did for smaller salaries in exchange for the pension. It is really weird how people act sometimes.

Selah
12-16-15, 7:59pm
Good for her, and great for you for being such a good friend, TxZen! :) Thanks for sharing.

Williamsmith
12-17-15, 2:40am
When my hubby & I semi-retired we lost some of our friends. A couple actually left me a long message at work trying to talk us out of it. Also we downsized our home and they thought that was a big mistake. They were really jealous that we had small pensions but they chose to be self employed instead. They could have worked for the government like we did for smaller salaries in exchange for the pension. It is really weird how people act sometimes.

When I sold everything and moved into an apartment sized condo, I got that a lot, "Are you sure you are doing the right thing?" Well, as sure as I can be. And yeah, I get the jealously over the early retirement too. I sacrificed a lot to get where I am, I didn't hit the lottery. And going forward, I am going to have to live On a tight budget. But I wanted to live now.....at a more minimalist lifestyle, dial it back and relax. I don't get toiling until you are too sick to enjoy life.

A coworker retired the the same day I did. We both worked the same jobs after retirement. He got colon cancer and was dead within a year of retirement. He worked 25 + years and never called off sick one day? I said my goodbyes at the hospital and on my way out I told my wife that we needed to live each day to the fullest. And so I try.

TxZen
12-17-15, 8:54am
When I sold everything and moved into an apartment sized condo, I got that a lot, "Are you sure you are doing the right thing?" Well, as sure as I can be. And yeah, I get the jealously over the early retirement too. I sacrificed a lot to get where I am, I didn't hit the lottery. And going forward, I am going to have to live On a tight budget. But I wanted to live now.....at a more minimalist lifestyle, dial it back and relax. I don't get toiling until you are too sick to enjoy life.

A coworker retired the the same day I did. We both worked the same jobs after retirement. He got colon cancer and was dead within a year of retirement. He worked 25 + years and never called off sick one day? I said my goodbyes at the hospital and on my way out I told my wife that we needed to live each day to the fullest. And so I try.


This is us right now. After losing almost everything due to a break in a few months ago, we have not re bought much. We also are looking at a major lifestyle change. We never lived the high life but now we can be even more simple. We have lost a LOT of friends, including our real estate agent, because we are not looking for a huge home with bells and whistles. I just look at it as a new path in life.

iris lilies
12-17-15, 9:53am
No one at my work tried to,talk me out of it, but it was funny that the the universal reaction from others have in my age range was "oh man I am counting the days" to get out.

SteveinMN
12-17-15, 11:14am
No one at my work tried to,talk me out of it, but it was funny that the the universal reaction from others have in my age range was "oh man I am counting the days" to get out.
Ditto. I occasionally have lunch with former co-workers who were at least kind -- some downright supportive -- about my entertaining the idea of a life after Corporate America. Some of them now are as burned out now as I was then. To a person they're all waiting for retirement day -- or a "package" which will ease the path. But, to date, no one seems to want to take the steps I took to get out from under.

rodeosweetheart
12-17-15, 7:15pm
It's hard to do, like taking a leap into the abyss. That's how I felt, going from full time to part time, with no guarantee of the part time.

But yes, so burned out, felt I had no other choice, and it is astonishing how much less dread I feel waking up in the morning. That job had really done a number on me.

Teacher Terry
12-17-15, 8:32pm
I rarely ever set an alarm anymore which is great. Just sad that people are unwilling to look at their part in their financial lives. It will be interesting as the baby boomers get too old to work and have to face facts about their financial position and possessions, etc.

freshstart
12-18-15, 2:03am
I am off to paint my guest bathroom turquoise. :) And I am going to finally stain my tv stand. And it's also time to take a LONNNNNNNNGGGGG walk.

my BR was turquoise, almost Tiffany's box blue, it was so tiny but that splash of color never failed to cheer me up

freshstart
12-18-15, 2:30am
living in the day has always been hard for me; I either got stuck in the past because my ex-husband makes it impossible not to have to deal with his negative acts so there's no clean cut break from him or I worry about the future (have I saved enough for retirement, DS is going to luthier school-there's no demand for luthiers, OMG what am I going to do about this??? Nothing, it's his business.). Then I had a night in the hospital when I was rapidly losing the ability to speak and be understood. They told me to bring the kids in so I could say what I needed to say. Trying to say all that you want to say and not being able to do it or write it was a huge wake up call to live in every moment. I still worry about past and future but many things that would've caused me dramatic mental angst just don't anymore.

Your friend is frankly amazing, go her! I moved to a simpler townhouse after my divorce and I purged so much, I gave him most of our furniture because I wanted nothing to remind me of him, I'd rather not have an object at all than have it from that time of our life. It took me ten years, but I finally replaced every single item from our home with inexpensive new stuff. I gave a ton away to charities and friends in need. The only things I have left are the wedding dress and ring, a strand of pearls he claimed were real but he left the price tag on, this stuff is for DD. a special antique watch from his band leader who fixes antique watches (it quickly did not work and the face fell off and it was plastic! but it was the first and only gift he ever gave me that "got me" and seemed meaningful. DS wants to tinker with it and I won't let him, explaining that it is the best gift his dad ever gave me and he goes, "he handed dad 5 free watches, he didn't pay a penny or ask for a watch for you." Nice.), this will go to DS. The china just because and photos.

So slowly replacing perfectly good stuff is not frugal not matter how inexpensive the item but it was psychologically wonderful and more than half the time I realized I had no need for the item I thought I was replacing. And that was a wonderful feeling as well.