DSIL

[domestic goddess]

I know I don't often have anything good to say about my dsil, and I realize I need to change my ways, so here goes.
Work has been pretty scarce for him lately. So he has been advertising on Craig's List, trying to drum up some construction work. DD has been writing ads for him, and he has gotten a number of jobs. He was already gone when I arrived home from work this morning, and he was not yet home when I went to work last night. He currently has a job doing a number of smaller things for a homeowner in a nearby town, but it will probably take 2-3 days, anyway. Their boarder works with him, so he has a readily available helper.
Anyway, I just think it is time to own up to the fact that how I act toward him certainly plays into the problems we have. I try not to be really terrible, but a couple of times I have spoken my mind. Not that I think I need to squelch every thought or opinion I have, because I think sometimes they need to be brought out into the open, but I need to be more careful about how I express myself. So, I'm really going to try! Next time I see him (don't know if he will be home before I leave tonight) I'm going to tell him how proud I am that he is working so hard, and working so hard to get work.

[nswef]

I'm so glad to read this. I think you will feel much better with this attitude, even if DSIL doesn't change. Little praises of specific behaviors really do work in some cases. Good luck in maintaining the new actions.

[Stella]

I love how you are always willing to look at yourself and see how you can better a situation through changing your own ways. That is really inspiring domestic goddess.

Your SIL is probably pretty stressed out. I bet the changes you are making to be more positive towards him will have an impact. Good for you!

[Mrs-M]

You know what I love about you Domestic goddess? You seem like such a fair and caring person. Although you have a strict- no-nonsense side to you, there's a strong and deep loving side to you as well that speaks of care and love. Sending a special good luck wish your DSIL's way.

[domestic goddess]

Thank you all for all your kind words, but I think you are being too charitable to me. I have no illusions that a few compliments will suddenly stop dsil's verbal abuse of my dd, and I will not ever feel great about him because of that. But I think this is something I need to do for me, as I find I am getting too judgemental and discontented with life. I will always be "strict and no-nonsense" about that issue, but I think that needs to be heard, and I think it will be easier for others to hear it if my own house is in better order.
However, dsil is always a hard worker, and that deserves acknowledgement.