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View Full Version : Right sized Christmas, ideas for next year



rodeosweetheart
12-29-15, 8:57am
This Christmas felt particularly right sized and stress free. Here are the things that really worked this year that I will do again next year:

1. Gifts-- finished shopping and shipping prior to Thanksgiving, and we had great success this year with simple gifts-- sent husband's sibs playing cards with pictures of our state on them and they are writing back that they are using them and love them--cost was 4 dollars a pack. Best gift of all (most popular with recipient) was set of measuring cups sent to one year old granddaughter; she LOVES them.

2. Bought pre-lit artificial tree and put it up super early, completely unlike my family of origin, who believed strongly in natural trees put up no earler than Dec 21.Having it up all month was lovely; it's small enough that i downsized many decorations and passed them along to Goodwill. No needles to vacuum and for once, tree did not fall over. Put it down yesterday to some complaints from husband about 12 days of Christmas; I stated that if anyone other than me wants to deal with the "tree issue" year after year with no help, they can have a say in when tree goes up or down. Husband very cheerfully apologized and helped me pack up tree for next year. It's a great tree. He is a great husband.

3. Delayed all baking until after Dec. 25, so am now making Christmas cookies, cheesecake, and whatever ele I feel like, no pressure.

4. Bought bargain wrap and cards for next year, although it was weird, this year, merchants were all out of Christmas stuff BEFORE Christmas. Bought a nifty bizarre paper wreath that looks like spraypainted boxwood, 4 dollars, was only thing other than tree purchased for this year and next.

5. Did not travel anywhere. I know. This one is a double edged sword, but at least as the wicked snow storm came last night, we are here safe, not traveling, and animals are all home and cozy with us, and we are not stuck anywhere--2 years ago I traveled and was stuck 3 extra days because of winter storms, all of which time was spent in airports. Husband is out happily using his new Husqevarna mower with chains and blade attachment. We are happy to use it year round.

6. Wonderful sons sent very cool gifts, including photo album of grandchild and a capuccino maker. Realize this is beyond my control, but it was great.

7. Dad and Mom made it through one more year; Dad sent checks to us but also to sons, who need the money. Makes me incredibly sad to realize one day he will not be there asking me what I want for Christmas. I asked for LL Bean certificate, because that makes him happiest, but he is having trouble ordering online and said can I just send the checks. One year, when I got divorced and had nothing, he sent me 500 dollars so I could buy presents, tree, a Christmas meal for the kids.

8. Went to lots of movies because we took December as our vacation-- we work year round, but get one month off teaching gig, and chose december for other reasons. It worked out surprisingly well, we stay- cationed. Went to see Christmas-themed movies, and actually loved the Love the Coopers one, although no one else did.

9. Did some gift cards for out of town friends; enjoyed surprising them with a little something to go out and grab a coffee or meal.

10. Took all pressure off self and hopefully off others!

Float On
12-29-15, 9:26am
Sounds wonderful!
I didn't even bake this year until Christmas evening when out of the blue I decided to try a Magic Custard Layer Cake which went really well with banana and pecan foster. Next year I'll try pear because I hate bananas. I seriously enjoyed waiting until the evening of Dec 23 to do any shopping.

I grew up on a Christmas Tree farm but bought a pre-lit artificial last year and have to say I too really enjoy the fact that I won't be picking needles out of the Berber carpet.

rodeosweetheart
12-29-15, 9:29am
I had to google the cake thing since it sounds great--is this what you mean?

http://www.recipetineats.com/magic-3-layer-custard-cake/

We did do some shopping on Christmas Eve and it was delightful!

herbgeek
12-29-15, 9:39am
I didn't do any baking this year either, my mother goes overboard on cookies etc, and the only place I'd be bringing food would be her house. i don't need it around mine because I will do all of the eating.

I don't do cards, haven't for years. I have a small fake prelit tree. I put out light sensing electric candles in the window, and fake wreaths on the front windows. I created some sort of wreath-y thing with a bunch of greens cut from the yard and topped with silver bows. I put these wreaths on the staircase bannisters and some lamps on the porch. I bought a pine scented candle at Target this year. That was pretty much it besides reusing candles/trays I already have.

Presents were for my parents, my husband, and my grand nieces/nephew who got a family membership to a historical museum. Knitted some mittens for Dad, and bought some "luxury" food for Mom who can share it with guests. Hubby got useful small things and a couple of books. I received practical things from him (baking tiles for bread, a battery charger) as well as a Wegman calendar (love those soulful looking dogs) and a paint by numbers kit. :)

We went to look at lights one night.

It was mostly right sized, although I would like to add at least one Christmas performance (music or ballet) for next year.

rodeosweetheart
12-29-15, 9:41am
I want to knit some mittens for the grandchildren next year, adding that to my list.

Float On
12-29-15, 9:48am
I had to google the cake thing since it sounds great--is this what you mean?

http://www.recipetineats.com/magic-3-layer-custard-cake/

We did do some shopping on Christmas Eve and it was delightful!

Yes! You really have to follow the directions to a T or it will end up a little flat but it is yummy and light. Very good. I skipped the powdered sugar since I was doing banana foster with rum and pecans.

rodeosweetheart
12-29-15, 9:51am
Will add recipe to THIS year's life, Float!

Zoe Girl
12-29-15, 10:19am
i am thinking that my holiday was pretty good, i really like making a few gifts every year and it is a lot of work. I need to start in September. It was people who wanted them so that makes it worth it (I don't like to make homemade gifts for people who don't necessarily want them, it is awkward if they don't want it).

I didn't bake, I didn't really have time and my mom bakes a lot. That was okay, I didn't miss the baking part.

I also really liked doing fondue on Christmas Eve, it is a family tradition and super easy. I make a few side dishes then we cook as we eat. Lots of leftover shrimp and chicken, maybe look for smaller amounts ( I did get super good prices at least).

Hmm, that is all

freshstart
12-29-15, 11:04am
rodeosweetheart, you dad sounds wonderful, first divorced Christmas is tough.

I think this Christmas went well. I shopped online since Oct and got great deals so it looked like I spent way more than I did. I came in under $500 budget for 4 adult family members, my two teens and a slew of gifts for hostesses and people who have helped us this year. I'm going to try for $400 next year.

We had too much company, IMHO, especially the kind that stays the night so I was constantly changing DD's sheets for guests. It sounds wussy but that just about kills me and I have to sit down during that task. It was too much feeling like you had to talk, talk, talk and be "on" all the time. And even though they offered to help with meals, it was a lot of work, tons of dishes, etc. So I would just say that (truthfully) I was worn out and go to my room. These are people who should understand, but then again they should've known this was not the year to come and stay. People want time with my mom and I get that but everyone right in a row is not happening ever again, as far as I am concerned. It was too much for me and 10x that for my poor mom

My parents won the wrangle of using my 6 or 7' not pre-lit but very skinny tree so nothing has to be moved to display it over using their 4 ft pre-lit one. I thought I would really miss a real-sized tree and although, this tree is short and fat and not that attractive, it was fine and I am a convert to pre-lit. I kept stalling on the ornaments, finally I had insomnia and decided to do the tree to surprise everyone. We only used my ornaments that are all sentimental- from every trip, or gifts from friends or an ornament each yr per child from my mom or me. I wrote the dates and names on the back of each, however, I found I had no memory of the trips except the most recent one. I used to know exactly which ornament was from which friend so had only written the date. So I got sadder rather than happier looking at all the ornaments I knew had positive memories attached and started to choke up. My mom got up and saw what I was doing and that I was crying. She said the kids have memories of those trips and will remind me of anything I want to know. My friends gave me these ornaments out of love and would totally understand that I screwed up and didn't know exactly which was from whom. I felt better. The last one I hung was a golden bird that opens with a compartment, my friend had put a note in there, "you are loved", then I happy cried.

I don't think I want to repeat this next year. So I was thinking of taking off the kids ornaments and put them in special boxes until they are older, but they are only 16 and 18 so I want to continue to give them a yearly ornament. Then packing up the friend and trip ones and buy discounted pretty tree decorations for next year and not have the sentimental tree anymore. I am the only one who cares that the tree is 100% sentimental ornaments, my kids acted like they could care less if there was a tree. So why not start fresh and have something stylish? Of course, I did not get out to buy new things and I am sure they are gone by now. Guess I'll see how next year feels. Christmas stuff is always 50% off before the holiday and it's not like we would need much for a 4 ft tree.

what do you think? Good to keep the sentimental stuff up for the kids' sake and to use what friends have given me and get upset by it all or switch to a "pretty" tree? I do not want to upset the kids who appear to care less but maybe deep down they do. IDK.

iris lilies
12-29-15, 11:17am
Re: the sentimental tree and decor

Im not sentimental,about much, but I WILL admit to having a small hoard of old, sentimental, and unique Christmas decorations. I get them out about once every 5 years. They include an old Santa and reindeer from my mothers childhood, a few things from my childhood, and a set of glass Chinese lantern lights we bought in Hong Kong that DH had to re-wire for them to work in U.S. eLectrical sockets. Honestly, Iit makes me happy to think about them every year, I don't need to get them out.

pulling them out of the storage place upstairs is a chore, so
I don't do it.

Re: what worked this year: we had our usual low stress Christmas which cost about $125 in presents. We managed to do a fair amount of decorating with our two artificial trees put up at my friend's house and 12 strings of lights on our little fat Alberta Spruce trees outdoors.

No baking thank god, DH got out of that habit years ago.

rodeosweetheart
12-29-15, 11:18am
I am the only one who cares that the tree is 100% sentimental ornaments, my kids acted like they could care less if there was a tree. So why not start fresh and have something stylish?. . .
what do you think? Good to keep the sentimental stuff up for the kids' sake and to use what friends have given me and get upset by it all or switch to a "pretty" tree? I do not want to upset the kids who appear to care less but maybe deep down they do. IDK.

I actually had to do this as in the move after the divorce, the movers stole my Christmas decorations (go figure) and my Danish rocking chair that I had bought with my 401k to rock my children when they were babies.

We started some new sentimental ornaments, but I am pretty much packing those up for when they have their own trees (probably next year) and went out and bought some at places on sale that delighted me--so I have kind of a Western theme going-- tin horses, stars, the prelit white ligthts, ad a few pieced mittens that survived the theft.

I would pass along the sentimental ones, especially if they make you cry because of the memory deficit. I had that after my coma, I lost years and lots of events, but found stuff coming back over the 10 years intervening. It's like it is off site storage, and when someone reminds me, it comes back. Sometimes.

Another excellent reason to treat yourself to something you find pretty now. A new life, in a way, b efore and after. The old life does not fit anymore, so you might as well make a new one.

Teacher Terry
12-29-15, 11:59am
I quit baking 20 years ago once my kids were grown and quit cards about 10 years ago. I got rid of my tree & ornaments and now just have a tiny table top tree. I kept some of my decorations from the past and donated the rest. I used to cook for 20 people but now choose to just spend it with my kids. I only have 2 people besides my kids that I buy gifts for. This year I took the kids out to a fancy restaurant on xmas eve and will take them to their favorite German restaurant that is also expensive in a few weeks and that was their gifts. I used to decorate a 3 story house, feed tons of people and buy tons of gifts. No longer like to do any of that.

Float On
12-29-15, 12:08pm
I don't think I want to repeat this next year. So I was thinking of taking off the kids ornaments and put them in special boxes until they are older, but they are only 16 and 18 so I want to continue to give them a yearly ornament. Then packing up the friend and trip ones and buy discounted pretty tree decorations for next year and not have the sentimental tree anymore. I am the only one who cares that the tree is 100% sentimental ornaments, my kids acted like they could care less if there was a tree. So why not start fresh and have something stylish? Of course, I did not get out to buy new things and I am sure they are gone by now. Guess I'll see how next year feels. Christmas stuff is always 50% off before the holiday and it's not like we would need much for a 4 ft tree.

what do you think? Good to keep the sentimental stuff up for the kids' sake and to use what friends have given me and get upset by it all or switch to a "pretty" tree? I do not want to upset the kids who appear to care less but maybe deep down they do. IDK.

I've always gone for the pretty tree over a sentimental one. I have a ton of blown glass ornaments made by my husband. I use to change the color ever year until I found what I really liked. Those plus a lot of pottery stars made by various friends, as well as pottery and wood birds, plus a lot of metal stars, and then sprigs of red holly berries are whats on my tree. The sentimental ornaments I always let the boys put on the small tree in their room when they were little and then I moved those to wreaths to pass along to the boys.

freshstart
12-29-15, 12:28pm
thanks for the advice! I think I will make boxes for the kids and go pretty next year. The stroll down memory lane was too much, once I decorated it, I purposely didn't look at that tree. I will keep the golden bird out and store the rest. I forgot that with the 4 ft tree on a table, the dogs won't knock it and I can finally display some ancient ornaments from my grandmother's German childhood, they have never been displayed, they are too precious. Now they can be!

Float On
12-29-15, 12:31pm
tI can finally display some ancient ornaments from my grandmother's German childhood, they have never been displayed, they are too precious. Now they can be!
That sounds lovely!

kally
12-29-15, 2:24pm
Here is what worked for us.
DH and I bought online gifts for each other about $20
Took a ferry down the coast midday on Christmas not many people travelling. Had a vegan feast with my bro, his wife and acouple of friends.
Took off the next day after lunch, stopped in a few shops, only bought cranberries. Didn't really need anything.
Home by 7 pm Boxing Day. That is it. All done.
Cards down today, no tree. Lights can stay up a bit longer.
Only gifts we did were Gift cards to my 2 young nieces and a couple of pre-read books we wanted to share. Easy peasy.

freshstart
12-29-15, 5:15pm
I had thought about getting my mom one of those Mandala adult coloring books, she tires easily so she really isn't reading and she gets sick of netflix, so she does jigsaw puzzles on her iPad mini, which I cannot fathom how that is really fun since the screen is so small. We used Mandala's with dementia and other patients in hospice so I thought she might really like this. Of course, when I slipped it into conversation, she knew exactly what I was talking about and said to stop talking or I'd ruin Christmas. Turns out she read about them and got them for all of us, my kids and even my dad. But she didn't get one for her. I will do that. But the odds that she hit on the exact same thing I thought would be great for her are nil. I can't believe that even happened, that she knew what they were. I figure my kids will never use theirs and I can eventually say if they are not going to do them, give them back to my mom so she can try it, but she'll be hurt they didn't like them. DS is 18, working around the clock to save money for school, I cannot picture him even trying one and DD would've loved these two years ago, she is now way too busy during Junior year of HS. I'm gonna try mine, it's supposed to make you feel peaceful and serene, my kids are driving me batty, serenity would be nice! Every year, my mom tries to find a gift for all of us the same, I admire her effort. Except the year I had a detached retina, blinder that a bat more than usual and she got me adult picture clue books, you had to find little clues in photographs. That one got re-gifted

Gardenarian
12-29-15, 11:11pm
I keep an eye open all year for pretty bags and totes at garage sales, and use those instead of wrapping paper.

We don't drink wine, but are often given bottles. Those all get re-gifted.

I also like to propagate plants (succulents, coleus, geraniums - easy) to give through out the year. I guess it's my substitute for not baking. I love having geraniums indoors in the winter.

Williamsmith
12-30-15, 3:02am
We have always saved in a Christmas Club account monthly so there is no financial stress. $1500 to spend. Every gift has to be justified as a need. No luxuries or frivolous wants. We give gifts like snow tires for son.....things that relieve financial hardship and filing a need becomes really appreciated and practical. We enjoy knowing we are making a difference to children who are working hard with two jobs but not making ends meet.

We continued to bake too many sugar based cookies and now are wanting to send out the over stock to people in our community that have none. The scale is showing me numbers I haven't seen in a while.

The tree was downsized, artificial and pre lit this year. A definite plus. Ornaments limited to homemade and a series of silver ones started by my grandmother made by a local forge. An ancient baby Jesus at the top that has been there every year and is a reminder of where our hearts should be. I know our kids bathe in the tradition and I am glad.

All removed and put away today....including the crowd of snowmen. The place is now looking quite bare and empty.