View Full Version : Leaps of faith?

3-15-16, 9:50am
I would like to hear your tales of successful "leaps of faith" (or not). Getting coldish feet about our big move to another state and essentially starting over which is both exciting and terrifying.
Have you ever done something that you weren't sure you could pull off but did it anyway rather than submit to fear?

3-15-16, 9:54am
I would like to hear your tales of successful "leaps of faith" (or not). Getting coldish feet about our big move to another state and essentially starting over which is both exciting and terrifying.
Have you ever done something that you weren't sure you could pull off but did it anyway rather than submit to fear?

Yes, going to College, studying abroad in Costa Rica, graduate school in Alabama, and moving to Arizona for my first real job. All required something of a leap of faith.

Just power through and be adventurous! You can do it!

Mary B.
3-15-16, 11:04am
We moved to Korea for two years to teach English in the mid-90s when jobs in our area were few and far between. We just went -- we didn't have jobs beforehand. Great experience for us financially, and for me personally -- I've had a career in education ever since. My partner didn't like teaching English, though he'd done it for several years. When we got back, he went back to school (at 40) and did technical trades training. Had a ten-year career in his new field, and really enjoyed it.

We're currently building a sailboat and plan to go cruising -- whether in our own area or further afield depends on how we like it.

pinkytoe, I hope you will enjoy your big adventure!

iris lilies
3-15-16, 11:46am
I ran around the country when younger, but its easier at that age.

i think you should keep as your guiding principle that nothing is permanent. You can always change your living place. As long as you do not make a big financial sink into any area, you can pick up and leave. Just be careful with real estate, that can eat up a large part of assets.

personally, were it me, I would rent in the new area for a year.

where are you going? I look at Las Cruces real estate, and there are cute 2 BR 2 Bath attached town houses dor under $100k. More like $85k with a garage and fenced backyard. There was a small old house in the historic district that went for around $100k but it went at lightening speed, one of the cutest for the money houses I had seen in Las Cruces. Its a university town so there is a fair amount to do.

3-15-16, 11:53am
I wish williamsmith would weigh in on this.

3-15-16, 12:29pm
I'm a logical thinker, as is my husband, so any "leap of faith" has always been tempered with common sense, figuring out options, and the old "Ben Franklin Close" where you make a list of the positive and negative things in order to cover those potential options. We're absolutely not a "wing and a prayer" kinda' people. I have found most "leaps" aren't nearly as bad as what we thought they were, and most things aren't so bad or radical we can't either make a correction or undo the thing entirely. Keep your wits about you and try not to over-emotionalize the whole thing. In your situation (from the brief description), I would most certainly have a large emergency fund to depend on (at least 6-months of expenses). I would try to be out of debt (debt is a heavy weight to carry around). I would also rent for at least a year until I thought the move was going to work out. That year will give you time to get to know the new place. Best of luck!

Chicken lady
3-15-16, 12:49pm
I got married at 21 and had two kids before he finished school. I quit jobs twice during that period, knowing I had to put food on the table and not knowing what came next, but being sure that what I was doing wasn't working.

for me "leap of faith" implies "I have no idea how this is going to work out, but I know this is the right thing to do so I'm going to do it."

my dh is not a "leap of faith" kind of guy. I say "we'll be fine" a lot.

edited to add - I do tend to look at "what is the worst possible thing that could reasonably happen and can I cope with it." So reasonably - like, "my child could be born with special needs and I would be unemployed." but not "and dh could leave/die". Or "and the house could burn down."

3-15-16, 12:50pm
DH never was a real estate buyer. He preferred to rent. We bought our first farm. When the agent notified us at around 10pm that our offer had been accepted, DH came to visit me where I was sitting in the bathtub, his comment was, "What have you got us into?" Three years later, we sold it for about 3x the original purchase price and DH never had cold feet again.
Do due research, be sure what you want jointly addressing all concerns and then leap. Life is an adventure so enjoy it.

Teacher Terry
3-15-16, 2:42pm
I had never lived alone or been out West. I divorced my hubby once the kids were grown, interviewed for a job in my field in a city out West I had never been to where I knew no one at 43 and went. I am still here and love it. Someone said what if you hate it? I said I have lived in Kansas twice and it can't be worse then that.

3-15-16, 2:44pm
Part of our leap of faith journey is motivated by the fact that we can purchase a home for cash in another location and fully retire. We have checked out lots of possibilities and generally speaking, lower cost places like Las Cruces, although lovely, have practical deficits like distance from airports and hospitals should you need them. At some point in my life, I would have liked that isolation but not now. The other part is based purely on desire for change and a lifelong wish to be near the mountains. So we have focused in on a med-large western city that has all the amenities we want but is not yet ridiculousy overpriced. I am trying to be practical yet see it is an adventure. It still feels like a leap of faith though when one has been in the same situation for so long. However, I get goose bumps thinking about it (in a good way) so I have to trust it's the right thing to do. And yes, we might rent for a while if real estate prices don't continue their ascent in our chosen locale.

Teacher Terry
3-15-16, 2:46pm
What city if you don't mind sharing?

3-15-16, 2:56pm
Have you ever done something that you weren't sure you could pull off but did it anyway rather than submit to fear?

Oh yeah..

I believe in well-timed leaps of faith. I took a leap of faith quitting my job to go freelance, giving up the steady paycheck, 9-5, health benefits, etc. That leap paid off well.

We took a leap of faith when we just drove into NJ while looking for a place to live, and we listened to the real estate agent who showed us this house--very first house we saw, and we told her, we can't just take the first house we see! and her prophecy was "OK. Look all you want. But you'll be back." And she was right.. 30 years later, we're still here.

But my paramount leap of faith, and the one that taught me the importance of faith, hope and love, was when I wound up getting pregnant right after my 3rd child was born--I was in a terrible place in my life, I was losing my house, I had no money for anything, my paycheck equaled my child care expenses, we had no car, there were substance abuse issues, and my friends and even my mother told me to get an abortion. My leap of faith was the abiding knowledge in my heart that I had the love it would take to raise another child, and that things would work out fine. They worked better than fine. My daughter is a beautiful, wonderful, creative, intelligent, happy human being. Joy of my life, along with my other children.

3-15-16, 3:25pm
Catherine, I love that!

edited because my leap of faith gives too much power to my ex, never mind

My best leap of faith was calling out for the first time in decades a VERY poor and actually dangerous nurse I worked with. I am not that type but this was very bad. I got disciplined when I spoke up and I went above the dept head to the Director of Nursing. My supervisor, who did not like that move, called me Hitler in front of my director and the employee rep who did nothing for me, not even pointing out I was being called Hitler, lol! The day before I had secretly interviewed with hospice (within the same company) and told them exactly what I had done and why, that something bad was gonna happen if no one spoke up (a few bad things had already happened). I walked out of the Hitler meeting laughing, called Hospice and asked when I could start, they said, "tomorrow." My supervisor and director claimed they needed a month's notice, I said, "surely Hitler should not work here one more day, today is my last day." My new boss called over and backed me, "let me take Hitler off your hands". Had 11 fantastic years in hospice and never worked with a nurse of that poor caliber again. Every nurse sees poor practice here and there, you address the person in a kind way, sort of "hey, here's an easier way to do that, " or some such. This was pages and pages of things that could easily lead to malpractice suits or DOH dings.

3-15-16, 3:52pm
freshstart, I know a couple women who lost their kids to the ex for a period of time, and in both cases, it worked out fine and they now have great relationships with their mothers. How awful and frustrating for you. It takes tremendous courage to do what you did--I admire you!

I remember one of the most impactful passages I ever read. I can't remember the book, or the author, or even the subject matter, but I think it was by a psychologist who said that a child will cry out for their mother if their arm is on fire--even if it's the mother who set the arm on fire. So, there is no logic to explain devotion to a bad parent. "Love has its reasons which reason knows not." But I do think most kids are able to see the truth eventually.

3-15-16, 3:55pm
thank you, Catherine, that helps

3-15-16, 4:31pm
Our biggest leap of faith was taking a vacation from Alaska to go to NY and IN. Hubby got a job offer within 24 hours of hitting IN. We had not traveled to get a job and had no plans or even discussions of a move. It was just something that "happened". He had an awful soul sucking but very well paid job in Alaska and they were installing the exact same system here in IN. Within 30 days he had moved and within about 60 days I had moved. Sold everything but what we could fit in the huge station wagon. He drove that monster here and I flew.

When I say the move was meant to be, I mean it. I had a government job in Alaska and wanted to transfer to IN and there was a woman in IN that was with the same agency and wanted to transfer to AK. When would that every happen again? They did not have to pay any moving expenses or gain/lose any positions.

3-15-16, 5:07pm
that's perfect!

3-15-16, 7:03pm
I'm a big believer in leaps of faith--faith being the operative word. If the leap isn't in sync with your instincts, it's probably doomed to fail. I've made a couple of leaps, and they worked out fine. Good luck!

3-16-16, 9:07am
Without question, leaving Dilbertville voluntarily. It has worked out so much better than we'd even hoped -- both of us are happier, we're living our values more clearly, and our health is better for the ability to concentrate rather than just rush through our days firefighting. I had my doubts about walking away from 60% of our take-home pay and I won't say it didn't hurt or cause a few sleepless nights -- for both of us. But it's worked out fine.

3-17-16, 8:56pm
After spending one weekend in Ashland our family decided to leave SF. Within 3 months we had bought a house, I retired, and DD started school for the first time. I'm grateful every day that we did it!

I have taken chances that turned out badly, of course - fewer of those mistakes as I get older. Looking back, I usually knew there was something off, but ignored my intuition.