View Full Version : Mid-life sucks!
I just writing in my journal today that I think mid-life sucks. More aches and pains, regrets over some career, finance, schooling, choices etc. Thinking it is too late to do something else, yada yada yada. Sort of a self pitty party. Coupled with our gloomy gray rainy spring we are having, the down ecomony...boy am I ever ready for some sunshine and warm weather.
THEN what is waiting for me in the mail box? Mail from the AARP - "card enclosed" Please do not bend AND another piece of mail on making my "final arrangements".
Now go make it a great day! >:(
Well I agree, except the alternative is SO much worse. I just wish my eyelid skin snapped back the way it used to.
HappyHiker
4-26-11, 6:11pm
I just writing in my journal today that I think mid-life sucks. More aches and pains, regrets over some career, finance, schooling, choices etc. Thinking it is too late to do something else, yada yada yada. Sort of a self pitty party. Coupled with our gloomy gray rainy spring we are having, the down ecomony...boy am I ever ready for some sunshine and warm weather.
THEN what is waiting for me in the mail box? Mail from the AARP - "card enclosed" Please do not bend AND another piece of mail on making my "final arrangements".
Now go make it a great day! >:(
Well yes, there are those things about mid-life that suck, no argument from me, just came down with a bum knee and I'm not happy about that...but that's the glass half-empty. What's the glass half-full look like? Friends, enough food to eat, roof over head, hobbies, laughter, books to read, a car to drive or a bike to pedal, interesting work, whether paid or volunteer to do?
When I'm feeling down, sometimes I put on a lively CD and dance around my kitchen and make ridiculous dance moves and that perks me up...
When I'm feeling down, sometimes I put on a lively CD and dance around my kitchen and make ridiculous dance moves and that perks me up...
As I read this I envisioned Elaine from Seinfeld and the "dance" she made famous! Now that would perk up anyone!
Oh, I have many things to be thankful for and have made many good choices. Great family, dw, etc. But life has been more challenging since hitting the big 5-0. No other milestone ever bugged me. For some reason - 50 made a difference. I just need to "find my grove" for the second half of my life! Seaching for that thing...
don't need a sports car, new dw, gold neck chains, etc. But something is calling me and not sure what that is...:cool:
mid life?
Consider it quarter-life instead!! :D
Hey, Greg.
Maybe the new groove will hit you over the head. That's sort of what happened to me. Last fall, at 52, a new job sort of fell in my lap. I love it, it's meaningful, and now I'm even taking a class in that area. Life seems full of possibility again, but at 53 I also know to fully value each day. It's not a bad combination. As far as past mistakes, we all have them and are the wiser for them. Focus on that and don't regret what cannot be changed.
loosechickens
4-26-11, 8:34pm
HAH!!!!! Just wait until the big ole number SEVENTY is heading your way like a freight train, and believe me, FIFTY will look like the long ago, promised land, hahahahaha.......
AND, you can't even call it mid-life anymore (WAAAAHHHH), because as my much younger sweetie is prone to tell me......"yeah, you're middle-aged.......middle-aged of a 140 year lifespan, hehehehehe". He's still recovering from 60, himself.
Honestly.....it's o.k. This morning, I was down at the pool swimming laps for my usual morning hour, and the sun was shining, and the birds were twittering, and "coming up quickly on 70" didn't seem half bad.
There are so many who are not lucky enough to make it to 50, or 60 or certainly, to 70. If you're at mid-life, and have a reasonably healthy life, with just the usual aches and pains........you've won the lottery, truly.
But.....all things ARE relative, I know, so go ahead and enjoy a bit of a pity party. I still remember the little sinking feeling when my mother gave me the gift of my first AARP membership card. It DID suck a bit.....although looking back from my present age, not so bad.
Sad Eyed Lady
4-26-11, 8:46pm
"But something is calling me and not sure what that is..."
Hey, this is a good thing! Something; a mystery. How exciting, you'll know it when it gets here.
domestic goddess
4-26-11, 9:25pm
If you are feeling the call to do something else, sometimes you just have to wait it out, and it will become evident.
I often feel this way. Getting older sure isn't for sissies! I hurt my hip on Good Friday, still can't walk without pain, a lot of pain, can't find a comfortable position to sleep. Frankly, I would drink Drano, if I really thought it would help the pain. And I guess it would; I doubt I would be focusing on my hip if I had burned up my throat and esophagus!
But anyway, sometimes it is just hard. There are things I would like to do, but sometimes I just know that I will not physically be able to do them. I can push through a lot of pain, but it is getting harder as I get older. So I am waiting for something else to become evident. It will happen, I just don't know what it will look like.
Every now and then, a little pity party is necessary. Acknowledge your losses, then pick yourself up and go on. Don't dwell on your losses, but you can't ignore them, either. Write a list of your accomplishments, the things you have to be grateful for, the challenges you have overcome. It will surprise you, and when the regrets sneak up on you, pull them out and enjoy them all over again. If you keep your heart and mind open, your next step will make itself known. Sometimes the most rewarding things are completely unexpected.
Well, I'm only a crotchety old 48, but the other day the guy from Progressive had GOOD NEWS for me - in seven years when I become a "senior" I will be eligible for a discount if I take the defensive driving class. It felt just Marvelous to blast him with both barrels - I think my exact words were, 'You think this is Good News? I think you're an a$$hole." Fortunately for us, we both found this hilarious. There IS a silver lining to getting old after all! Free speech with less consequence. :moon:
When my youngest was in elementary school, on several occasions I was asked about my "granddaughter"...:~)
why not try picking up a native american flute and see if that is what you were meant to play in the second half of your life.
As I read this I envisioned Elaine from Seinfeld and the "dance" she made famous! Now that would perk up anyone!
Oh, I have many things to be thankful for and have made many good choices. Great family, dw, etc. But life has been more challenging since hitting the big 5-0. No other milestone ever bugged me. For some reason - 50 made a difference. I just need to "find my grove" for the second half of my life! Seaching for that thing...
don't need a sports car, new dw, gold neck chains, etc. But something is calling me and not sure what that is...:cool:
Wildflower
4-27-11, 4:21am
I have to say that at the age of 53 that I am alot more content, happy, and at peace with myself than I have ever been. I have no desire to be younger. Many things are so much better in my life now than when I was say in my 30's. And I've always had aches and pains, I was diagnosed with Lupus in my 20's. Pain is my middle name. It's no better or worse at this age. I am just grateful that my health is holding fairly well in spite of years of the disease.
Greg, it's ok to have a pity party every now and then, but realistically were things all that much better when you were younger? Sometimes we look back on the past with rose colored glasses. And as far as missed opportunities, etc. - I think what is supposed to happen - happens. The decisions we made in the past were made for a reason I think....
Hope you have a more joyful day today! :)
goldensmom
4-27-11, 6:36am
Listen to you ‘old foogies’ --- well count me in. I don’t mind the AARP or Miracle Ear mail because it usually includes a mail back envelope that I use can for note paper. What I do mind is that every muscle hurts after a day of medium hard physical labor. I’m saying ‘I remember when…..’ a lot lately, especially ‘I remember when I could fill my Volkswagen's gas tank for $5.00’
flowerseverywhere
4-27-11, 7:32am
I am on the downhill slide to 60 and I would recommend that you get a book from your library called "Blue Zones" about why some people have longevity and age more gracefully. It is really important to eat right and stay active. Yoga, swimming, daily stretching, walking, bike riding all good. As much as you can eat a plant based organic diet, really good. Reality TV shows that suck you into useless drama, remote controls, mindless internet surfing bad. Stress bad.
a lot of info in there about right tribe too. Surrounding yourself with positive people who like to do fun and satisfying things.
This thread is chicken soup for my soul! :) I'm embracing everyone's entries in hopes of gaining added strength and wisdom.
glad I am not the only one suffering from the "getting older blues." Some of my many mistakes made in the past are very clear these days.......the aches and pains are growing......my eyesight is shot......I've been down and out for the past couple of days mulling over this stuff. On the bright side, at 55 I am now eligible for the senor discount offered in some local cafes!
Might have accumulated enough wisdom not to make some of the same mistakes. We just have to snap out of it and make life the best it can be. Stay active, interested and be interesting.
When my youngest was in elementary school, on several occasions I was asked about my "granddaughter"...:~)
This happened to me with my stepkids, and since their father is 14 years younger than I, and looks much younger than his age, a few times I was mistaken as his Mom. I didn't take it personally... younger men/older women pairings still pluck the strings of sexism in our society. My husband has a friend from high school who was downright detestable to me when we met - he could not understand why my husband was interested in an older woman; especially since my husband's ex-wife is a friend of his, and she fits the "right" image to a T... young, cute, etc. (though being mentally ill & untreated obliterates her physical appeal after a short time, sadly). His sexism was displayed quite clearly that day.
I have struggled with weight and the consequent osteoarthritis in my knees, and am feeling much older than my nearly 56 years recently. It sucks to be in pain, and have occasional mobility issues. However, slowing down also had meant that I am a kinder person than I have been! And as my nearly 84 year old Father says, "Every day is a victory!"
One day my youngest dd came home and said with excitment that she knew someone at school with parents older than us!!
Wow - now that is an ego booster! We all got a good laugh over that!
I was just bemoaning mid-life this morning. At 56, I feel pretty grand - no aches or pains - so for that I am grateful. However, it is very odd indeed to watch my face and body morph since I don't feel any older that late 30s inside. My hair doesn't behave anymore and I can't find any flattering clothes at this age. I feel frumpy. My 87 yo neighbor tells me to enjoy it - that I am just a teenager. I try not to think about it though and concentrate on the wonders around me - things I didn't even notice when I was younger.
My "Great Aunt" is in her early 90's. She doesn't tell people how old she is because she says the rest of the day she thinks about it and it just ruins her day. She has lived a long full - active - life and doesn't see her self as that old! She just stopped dancing a couple years ago - she has out lived 3 dancing partners and doesn't want another to die!
Well, Gregg, look at it this way--it is ONLY a number! It is how you feel and how comfortable you are in your skin that counts.. I am much closer to 60 and it is hilarious to hear co workers say,you CAN'T have 35 yo children and be a grandmother. Yes, I have been blessed with some decent genes.There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder how much longer I can do a very physical job--every day is one more day closer to retiring and having a FUN job!!In the grand scheme of things, the decisions that I have made over the years ( while some weren't great) are what have made me the person I have become and for that I am very thankful. I find I can get away with saying certain things that I wouldn't have said even 10 yrs ago. I no longer worry about what people think of me--either ya like me or ya don't-LOL! If it makes you feel better, my husband is ALWAYS getting the senior citizen discounts just because he has silver hair--while I get carded! I am the older one!!!
earthshepherd
4-27-11, 9:29pm
I love your great aunt's attitude!! Mid life has really thrown me for a loop too. Just falling apart since I passed the half century mark! No fair!
Greg44 and other posters, I also feel your pain! I'm now 45 and the day I turned that age, Facebook started sending me ads for "Mature Dating Websites" and low-cost dentures! I have also struggled with regret over poor choices I made in the past, but I just try to remember that at the time, I was making the best choice that I knew how to make. Everyone is doing this, all the time, no matter what their age is.
By the way, I live in Southern Florida, where there are a LOT of elderly people. One billboard my husband and I always laugh at when we pass it is an ad for a hospital, which says "Outlive Your Foursome." DH and I agree it would get more traction if it said "Outlive Your Threesome!"
I had a very hard time hitting 50; that was the first time age bothered me. Now I'm 64 and can't believe 14 years have passed. My advice is to find something good every day and keep busy. Yes, we have a lot of aches and pains as we age, but there is always someone who's much worse off. So, try to enjoy each day! Have a good one!
gimmethesimplelife
4-28-11, 12:28pm
I have to say that as I am pushing 45 I have aches and pains I never thought I would have plus a back that does not always cooperate when I am under stress.....I also read a recent article in Newsweek about midde aged men who were well educated and had impressive credentials and formerly held high power jobs - being completely unable to find similar work upon being laid off. This made me feel grateful for life choices I have made to take me away from that kind of life - I feel I know myself better than some and at 44 I know what is going to work for me and what is not (for the most part) but I am still willing to take some chances, take some risks, and have some adventures. One thing I have found for myself is that I like being free - debt and working in an office just don't work for me. I also don't like the idea of working 50 or 51 weeks a year with very minimal time off -for me, life is way too short to live this way. So to continue to accomodate that, I am gettting rid of more possessiios and letting more things go.....Rob
There are changes I've wanted to make in my life, and changes I have had to make in my life. Instead of blaming myself as being weak and not able to do what I used to, I blame it on the onset of older age, something I can't control, so it is not my fault.
Now I actually have to focus on minding my journey through life, instead of chasing economic achievements. I like my excuse.
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