Open casket at funeral for a still born baby?

[Tradd]

A week ago, on Good Friday, a woman at my church, lost her first child at 6.5 months in utero. Mom was induced to deliver the baby, started hemorrhaging, had an emergency C-section, and then additional emergency surgery because she was in such a bad way.

Funeral service was today. I was very startled when I walked into the church to see an open casket. Poor wee baby girl was perfect, just small (maybe 2 lbs?), and very pink. :(

Has anyone ever seen an open casket for a still born baby? I'd simply never heard of it. The several other services like it I've been to were all closed casket.

Poor family. Even though the service was just announced yesterday (mom had been in the hospital until Wednesday) and was on a weekday, the church was overflowing. Baby was buried in the midst of Easter hymns since that's what we do for a funeral during Easter week.

:(

Please keep this poor family in your prayers or good thoughts (whichever fits your belief system).

[loosechickens]

Maybe the parents just wanted people to see how beautiful their little daughter was. In the past, it was common for people to have their dead children photographed in their caskets as a remembrance, so who knows?

My heart always goes out to parents who lose a child. Even though it was more common in days past, anyone who thinks that parents were not as deeply affected, are wrong. My grandparents lost their only son (they had two daughters, my mother and her sister) at age two, and half a century later, neither of them could speak of him without tears in their eyes. It is a grief that never really leaves, I think.

[H-work]

So very sad. I wouldn't want an open casket but if that was their request, that what they needed then. Everyone grieves differently.

[Gina]

The poor parents. I've also never heard of an open casket for an infant, but I doubt there are any rules for that sort of deep grief. In our present day society I think too often we try to remove ourselves totally from the tragic realities of life and death.

[goldensmom]

I have seen an open casket for an infant and for an infant in it's mother's arms when both died during childbirth and it sad beyond words. Speaking from experience, we did not have an open casket for our stillborn

[CathyA]

Its just whatever the parents need. So very sad.

[Reyes]

I have seen an open casket for the situation which you describe. I think it is entirely up to the parents to hold a service in the way that best meets their needs, whether that mean open or closed casket.

[IshbelRobertson]

Open caskets are rare in the UK.

The idea of having one for a wee baby? No.

[Simplemind]

I have never lost a child but can only guess that having an open casket is a way of giving the child an identity and opportunity to be known if only for a short while. I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking.

[rodeosweetheart]

How very, very sad for them. There was a parish I attended where a couple of years ago, a girl was killed on Good Friday in a traffic accident. What a mystery it is, why we die when we die, and how we suffer with the death of those we love, and yet how we hope for that resurrection.

I hope the open coffin brought them a lot of comfort. I think I would have liked that, when I lost my baby that way, some sense of communtiy support for my loss.

I think any parent who can come back from the death of a child has to be incredibly brave, and do whatever they need to do, and I imagine this brought the family some closure. God bless, and bless your church community for being there for them, Tradd.

[Zzz]

I've never known anyone to have a funeral for a stillborn baby. In my experience, it's been family only and perhaps a few super-close friends. In fact, this is what I'm used to for funerals for young infants, too --a service for the family and closest relatives only, perhaps in a chapel but not a full church or funeral parlor service.

[Tradd]

I called it a funeral, but that's probably not quite the correct description. "Prayer service after a miscarriage" was what the service was termed in the service leaflet. It was some Psalms, a couple of Scripture readings, a short homily, but that was it. No more than 30 minutes. The family asked for a service.