View Full Version : Putting down a pet
I know we talked about this on the other board but I need some input as of course I think my situation is unique.
Our Dear Old Dog was 15 last June. He's a tripod and can't really walk anymore. He can't go up and downstairs. He more or less drags himself around. His eating is more finicky.He doesn't eat dog food anymore. So I make him chicken or hamburger or soup or mini-raviolis (those are out of can). He makes a retching sound though he rarely ever vomits. He's gotten quite thin.
He's become a little incontinent in that he has defecated in the house. Usually we can see the signs and shoo him outside on the deck but if we aren't in the room, or we are distracted we have a mess to clean up. This happens, oh - 3 or 4 a week.
I can't tell if he is in pain. At his last checkup this past summer the vet didn't seem to think so. He sleeps a lot as is normal for an old dog. He likes to be petted and brushed still. Sometimes, he likes to sit on the deck. The other day he barked at a squirrel.
So. How do you know when it's time?
There is no single right time, there is a spectrum. You've entered the spectrum.
If he's eating he's not in pain or not in much pain. But it's the "dragging himself around" that would cause me to do it. Probably.
We've had 3 dogs who died a short time before our planned time to take them to the vet to be euthanized. One died literally the moment before we bent over to pick her up and take herto the vet.
My regret is NEVER putting them down too soon, it is always not doing it soon enough.
My first bulldog and one of my most beloved ones was reasonably bright eyed when I euthanized her. She was on large doses of prednisone which caused her to eat and drink lots. I took the day off from work and did all of her favorite things. She was tired from her illnes, but still she was happy to drive around in the car, stop for ice cream, and sit in the park. She had a good last day. There's something to be said for putting them down while they are still enjoying parts of life.
I have a dear friend going through this right now. His dog is still savaging a chew toy daily, so that is one of their markers. I echo Iris in that regrets usually revolve around waiting a bit too long. It's hard. I'm sorry you are going through this.
I would agree with Iris Lilly on not doing it soon enough. When my dear cat Harry started to slow down I at first thought it was dental problems. We'd been to the vet a couple of weeks before we noticed him slowing down/losing appetite/etc and they'd said he needed a cleaning. Since he was getting fussy about food I made a dental appointment for a month later. I figured toothache/fussy about food. It all made sense. Not an emergency, but something to take care of. As the month progressed he got more fussy about food and not as active as he'd been most of his life, but would still eat good human food (pork roast and canned tuna were still much enjoyed by him.) I took him for his cleaning on a friday morning and the vet called later that morning to say that his pre-anesthesia blood work was really bad. Early monday morning he died on his own. His kidneys had pretty much shut down and treatment over the weekend didn't help because it was too late. When I look back I wonder how I could have been so blind to what must've been awful suffering. I hope that we won't make that mistake with our current boys. I don't need them to live forever, so when living stops being fun and enjoyable for them (and believe me, they have lots of fun now...) I won't hesitate to euthanize them. SO and I'll be crying the whole time but I think it really will be in their best interest.
Like everyone else, my only regrets are about having waited too long. It is like the last gift you can give to a creature who loved you without reservation.
Simplemind
1-3-11, 11:50pm
It is a heartbreaking decision whether too soon or too late. I so wanted my girl to go in her sleep but it was not to be. It has been a year and even though we have a new dog I think of her every day. She was my soul mate.
It is a heartbreaking decision whether too soon or too late. I so wanted my girl to go in her sleep but it was not to be. It has been a year and even though we have a new dog I think of her every day. She was my soul mate.
She sounds like she was a wonderful dog. How wonderful that she got to spend her life with such love.
Always a very hard decision. We recently had to put down a beloved 14 year old cat that had been seriously ill with liver failure and cancer for over 2 years. We could tell he was "unhappy", depressed, and not enjoying life. My husband's comment after about a week later was that he never really understood just how much treating the cat's long illness had affected his own health. I think this is "caretaker" syndrome.
The vet staff did not completely understand our position since Harpo was still eating and sleeping but it was a carefully thought out decision. We are not a family that will spend $10,000 trying to keep a pet alive thru cancer and the vet office had always suggested a lot of exploratory surgery and advanced techniques.
I am comfortable with our decision and know it was made with love. We do the best we can and that is all that can be expected.
We had a mixed breed, Luna, who never complained or asked for anything and was a wonderful family pet. However, when she was 21, yes, 21, and still going strong aside from being able to go up and down stairs, we had to move to a second floor apartment. I knew she could never navigate those stairs and I couldn't lift her up and down all the time, so I decided to have her put down. It was terribly hard,. We walked her to the vet's office and stayed with her as the compassionate vet explained the whole process to us. Never easy, but this old girl had lived a good and happy life in a loving family for many years.
I often feel I waited too long with my dog. She was in similar shape to your dog. I should have done it sooner, but it's so hard so you'll get no criticism from me. But she lives on in my memory and in my user name. Her name was Charity.
Spider In The Bath
1-6-11, 8:25am
Like everyone else, my only regrets are about having waited too long. It is like the last gift you can give to a creature who loved you without reservation.
We did the same with our first cat that died. We had booked him in for the Friday at the vets as we knew he was dying. The vet said he had 4-6 weeks and he lasted less than 2. In the end we rushed him in on the Tuesday morning as he had collapsed, his back legs no longer worked and he was doubly incontinent. He was still purring too. We never forgave ourselves.
Since then for other pets as soon as their quality of life starts to decline we have done the best for them (not for us).
First of all, big hugs. This part of pet ownership is always so difficult.
I agree with so many here. It's never easy to tell when the perfectly right time to let a pet go is, but not hard to tell when you've let it all go on too long. I'm so glad you've had the time together that you have, it sounds like you've been a blessing to each other :)
screamingflea
1-7-11, 1:10pm
A close friend of mine kept a dog going for way too long.
He adopted this dog from a friend who was totally incapacitated with Alzheimers. The dog was doubly incontinent and weighed over 100 pounds. My friend did himself permanent injury by picking up the dog and carrying her out to the front porch several times a day over a few months. Ultimately she started having severe seizures on top of everything else, and he still coaxed her along.
His argument was that pets generally spend most of their time eating, sleeping, pooping, and contemplating, and the dog was still enjoying (?) doing that. Ultimately it was a combination of the dog's seizures and his own injury that made him change his mind long after the vet suggested putting her down.
So yes, there is a spectrum when it comes to end-of-life issues for pets. While it may be hard to do so for any number of reasons, please remember to figure your own needs into that spectrum as well.
This is my very first post here. In July I had to euthanize my beloved dog Gemma at age 15, who was having physical problems from a brain tumor. It's true what people say---you'll know when it's time. It's the most difficult decision you'll make but it will be such a relief. I swear that SHE looked relieved after I made the appt. with the vet. I use animal communicators for my animals (I know, a bit woo-woo) and she assured me that she was ready to go whenever I was ready. When Gemma gave up eating and drinking and clearly wanted to leave her useless body, it was obvious that it was time.
The whole process is very peaceful and I wouldn't dread doing it ever again. Not the easiest thing, but the right thing. However, I also wish I had done it a day or two earlier. BTW, when I came home from the vet that day without her, I heard her nails on the floor, like she was back home to greet me. -sniff-
Wildflower
1-8-11, 12:16am
It's always a difficult decision to make, but with ours there came a day with each one that we just knew. I think you will know too. With a couple of our cats I wish that we had done it sooner and skipped all of the medications and treatment, but still we wanted to give them a chance. With our dogs it was obvious when it was time to let them go....so hard though, always so hard.
Its time. I've been there several times; it is heart breaking but best for the animal.
We started telling our sons. Our middle son comes home on post deployment leave in a few weeks. This is the dog that they've had since they've been little so I'll give him a chance to say goodbye. Unless the dog just goes downhill markedly before that, it will probably be shortly after my son gets home.
I'd like to thank everyone for their input about not waiting too long. Last night, I noticed Happy was in breathing distress after coming inside. He eventually recovered but the vet came out today since I had a feeling it was time. It turns out the vet suspected some sort of mass around Happy's heart that was pressing on his trachea and his lungs, which accounted for his retching and breathing problems. She noticed he had gone downhill since she saw him in the summer.
So we let him go and will have him cremated. When everyone is home again, we'll bury his ashes in the yard.
He was a good dog.
iris lily
1-16-11, 12:00am
oh my, thanks for letting use know aobut hid end. To HAppy! A good dog.
loosechickens
1-16-11, 12:31am
We're sorry for your loss, Anne Lee, but glad you were able to make that hard decision to free him from what had obviously become a poor quality of life. He'll live in your memories, and won't be forgotten, and that is really the best that any of us can hope for, even for ourselves. Thanks for letting us know.
Wildflower
1-16-11, 3:22am
RIP Happy
I hope the good memories of Happy will comfort you and your family in time.
I hope that the sadness and feeling empty will lessen for you. It has been a couple of years since we had to make that same decision for "Gizzie", a little peke that was our constant companion. She was always there to greet us when we came home, warm our laps and snuggle with us at night. She was a true friend was was loved very much.
Thank you for all the kind words, everyone. Yesterday, I was a mess. Today, I'm betterish - still tender though. The house just feels so empty as my auto pilot is still set to think about the dog i.e. whenever I walk into the kitchen I glance at where his water dish used to be to see if it needs filling. I suppose you stop doing that eventually.
I did sob as I washed the dining room floor this morning since I was "washing away his footprints". (but the floor really, really needed it) I cleaned the nose prints off the sliding glass door too. I'll vacuum soon. I can't quite bring myself to get rid of the pillow next to my bed where he would sleep. Not yet. I suspect sometime this spring an organizing fit will hit me and I will put it out in the garage to throw it away some day just like we did with our guinea pig's cage. That only took me, oh 5 years, partly because it got buried and I forgot about it.
I am more convinced than ever we did the right thing in putting him to sleep. He was so old and sick and weak. I've decided that we will donate our aluminum cans to the Humane Society in honor of Happy to support the work they do. DH and I have decided to be dog free for the next few years. Our nest is almost empty and we are hoping to do some traveling, perhaps even spur of the moment traveling, while we are young and still have income. Early retirement is not in the cards for us at this point. I always hated leaving Happy so I would rather not have the logistics and guilt associated with leaving a pet. I can see the benefits of a pet free lifestyle; I'm just not really feeling them yet.
(sigh) Soon.
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