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Mrs-M
5-4-11, 12:41am
What are your thoughts? Years ago (when I was younger) I struggled with the concept of cremation seeing it as being evil and demonic, now, the older I get, I'm feeling more comfortable with the idea of cremation.

Nonetheless, whenever I think about it (cremation versus burial), I think of burial as being the more peaceful choice of the two (if that makes any sense to you). Cremation, in my view, seems sort of violent.

chrisgermany
5-4-11, 3:56am
I have decided for cremation. I d' rather not think about the details of decay.
We care for the graves of several relatives and there is this phase after 5-10 years when the soil starts to sink in...
I do not want to know what is happening underground but I also do not want to happen that to my dead body.
I like the idea of having my ashes spread in my garden but that is not possible acc. to our local laws.

I kind of like this piece from Lee Hays of the Weavers:

In Dead Earnest

If I should die before I wake,
All my bone and sinew take:
Put them in the compost pile
To decompose a little while.
Sun, rain, and worms will have their way,
Reducing me to common clay.
All that I am will feed the trees
And little fishes in the seas.
When corn and radishes you munch,
You may be having me for lunch.
Then excrete me with a grin,
Chortling, "There goes Lee again!"
Twill be my happiest destiny
To die and live eternally.

He died on August 26, 1981 from diabetic cardiovascular disease at home in Croton, and, in accordance with his wishes, his ashes were mixed with his compost pile.

sweetana3
5-4-11, 6:20am
Our whole family has discussed and opted for cremation. The simpler the better. We had some serious problems with burials both delays due to bad weather (ground frozen), body in the wrong place, expensive funerals, etc. that caused great emotional distress.

Seems so wasteful to be buried in the land and all the frou frou that goes with it.

Anne Lee
5-4-11, 7:29am
Ashes to ashses, dust to dust. In the end, we are just so many molecules that return to the earth, regardless of the process.

Float On
5-4-11, 7:35am
I really struggled with the cremation vs. burial due to religious upbringing but over the last 10 years I've leaned more towards cremation.

Rosemary
5-4-11, 7:49am
I like the idea of ashes being scattered in a special place. I believe cremation is also more environmentally friendly, though I haven't researched it.

goldensmom
5-4-11, 8:03am
I really struggled with the cremation vs. burial due to religious upbringing but over the last 10 years I've leaned more towards cremation.


Me too. I've not found anything against cremation as a chosen method for the disposal of a body in the Bible but have found only examples of burials and those were mostly in caves. Some say it is an issue of respect for the human body. The end product will be the same whatever method is preferred. Still thinking.

herisf
5-4-11, 8:38am
Cremation. The thought of having my body injected with preservatives and then interred not only strikes me as wasteful but meaningless. It's much easier on the earth or sea to deal with ashes than with metal and toxic preservatives.

Kestra
5-4-11, 10:01am
Any religious upbringing I had said cremation was the way to go. I'm not religious but burial seems wrong to me. Everyone's already mentioned the downsides of it. I've dealt with lots of animals getting cremated and it just seems more pleasant. DH is Christian and wants burial - the idea bothers me (apart from the DH being dead part, which of course is the worst thing) - just seems icky and that it would give me more unpleasant memories and to know his body is rotting somewhere. Yuck. But I will respect his wishes.

porcelain
5-4-11, 10:12am
My father is buried (coincidentally this is the 10 year anniversary of his death today) and my mom will be buried next to him. I really wanted to be near them so I bought the last 2 available burial plots adjacent. The plots can either fit 2 burials or 4 cremations. So I guess it depends on how my life unfolds, if I get married and have children who want to be buried with us, then I suppose we will all get cremated. But at 32 and single with no children I imagine it might remain this way, in which case I will just be buried in one of the plots and the other can be sold.

bae
5-4-11, 10:36am
I want to be buried at sea, with no preservatives.

(Well, I *really* want an immense pyramid, but my heirs aren't looking all that cooperative.)

kib
5-4-11, 11:36am
:~)

I am hoping that 'green burial' becomes simpler by the time I go. Frankly if sky burial were an option, I'd take it. I Love the Lee Hays poem, my sentiments exactly, but I don't want the whole pomp, circumstance, expense and - aargh, preservatives - of a standard burial. The point is to go back to earth as food, not become the equivalent of rat poison. If I'm being a purist about it, the energy expenditure of cremation seems rather unnecessary, too.

Burial at sea sounds like the best option to me too, at present. My perfect solution: if I knew it was my time, I'd get myself a little floating lawn chair (ideally a biodegradeable one), a handful of pills and a nice bottle of cognac and take a trip to key west.

Kathy WI
5-4-11, 12:38pm
I would prefer to be cremated because I don't like the mental picture of a body rotting in the ground.

debi
5-4-11, 12:59pm
My parents want to be cremated as well. Dad doesn't even want any type of service - just go and enjoy ourselves. Catholic religion (of which we were brought up) is against cremation. For myself if not cremation than possibly as medical research for students (no cost at all to the family).

bae
5-4-11, 1:55pm
My parents want to be cremated as well. Dad doesn't even want any type of service - just go and enjoy ourselves. Catholic religion (of which we were brought up) is against cremation. For myself if not cremation than possibly as medical research for students (no cost at all to the family).

Cremation is an option for Catholics. The Code of Canon Law states "The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the dead be observed; it does not, however, forbid cremation unless it has been chosen for reasons which are contrary to Christian teaching" (Canon 1176)

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P4A.HTM

loosechickens
5-4-11, 3:17pm
I'm with kib......I'd honestly have no problem with them just hauling me outside and letting the vultures and the rest of nature's cleanup crew have at me. We've come across human bones in the desert (not all that uncommon an occurrence, sadly, with the numbers who perish trying to cross the border with Mexico), that have been scattered after bodies have been eaten by coyotes, etc., and I know I'd feel o.k. with that. In the case of those bones, I always feel badly, not because that is what happened to their bodies, but because I know there is family in some peasant village in Mexico who does not know the fate of their loved one)

Also don't have a problem with the lawn chair off Key West....hate to litter with the lawn chair, though....perhaps I could think of something that would biodegrade nicely when no longer needed.

In the absence of the above, would just choose cremation and ashes scattered......so far, we're looking at a nice spot by a big organ cactus outside the village of Ajo AZ, and just down the road from where several friends have already been scattered......

My sweetie has toyed with the "giving the body to science" route, bequeathing it to a medical school, etc., and I've enjoyed thinking of donation to the FBI's "body farm" near Quantico VA where they leave bodies outside to let nature take its course and study the decomposition process for clues and scientific knowledge that will help in solving murders where a body is found after a period of time.

So far, cremation seems the most likely option. The one thing I absolutely could not BEAR to have happen would be the standard American funeral with embalming, casket, viewing hours, a graveside gathering complete with plastic grass covering the hole and burial inside a vault that doesn't even allow for normal decomposition.

In the little village where we lived in Mexico, bodies were buried in boxes without embalming. Since space in the cemetery was short, tombs were opened in later years for entry of new family members, and bodies that had been in the ground for 40 years or so had been reduced to nice, clean bones that could be moved aside to make room for the new occupant. That was nice.

razz
5-4-11, 7:09pm
Cremation with the ashes scattered and no fuss of any kind for both DH and I by choice. If DD's want to have a memorial services, they can do this and have a good time playing DH's country music alternating with my operatic arias. :-) That should make it short and sweet!

janharker
5-4-11, 7:18pm
I prefer whatever costs the least, both monetarily and environmentally. There are "Green" cemeteries around the country, and more are being built. No toxic coffin; no toxic formaldehyde. OTOH, if you want to spread someone's ashes and it's against the law, I say go ahead and spread them, then fill the container with leftovers from your fireplace. I really doubt if the authorities will investigate so long as you don't put a story in the paper.

Tweety
5-4-11, 7:28pm
I want my molecules to go back into use, not to be sequestered in a sealed box underground, so I have asked that my body be cremated with the ashes to be scattered in the Woods Hole passage (Cape Cod, MA) near my favorite buoy #4 that I have painted so many times. My kids are OK with that, and I asked them to have a party on the boat when they do that. Key West would be good, too, but I love the waters of Vineyard Sound and Buzzards Bay and like the thought that bits of me will ride the tides there.

Debbie SE MI
5-4-11, 9:12pm
I vote for creamation, I sprinkled the ashes of one of my dogs while on vacation in Alaska in a area called Misty fyords (sp) in the inside passage. I hope that my daughters with sprinkle me their along with my mothers ashes and 4 dogs (to date). It is the only state my son in law has not been to, then they can take a vacation to see the beauty of Alaska. I am an organ doner and was thinking about this yesterday, donating my body to science. I had heard that they will creamate and return the ashes to the family at no cost, I better do some research on this. I guess I am really getting cheep in my older years......

early morning
5-5-11, 6:42am
Cremation for me. And I want to be scattered in many beautiful places, both those I love, and those I hoped to visit. To this end, I am saving plastic film canisters for myself, hoping to catch a one-way ride with family and/or friends traveling to wonderful locales... ;)

happystuff
5-5-11, 7:31am
Cremation. My son was cremated. Some of his ashes have been returned to the country of his birth and there will be a "spreading of the ashes" ceremony in about 10 years. The remainder are still with us. We/I needed more time and now have to select a release location for the remainder of the ashes.

I also choose cremation and hope that my ashes can be released during a huge wind so that they can REALLY scatter across the land and not remain in one location. Then, maybe, whenever there is a good breeze, I'll be thought of. At least these are my thoughts right now. :-)

Mrs-M
5-5-11, 8:41am
This is great, lots of good insight, just what I need to help coax me along to a final decision- not that I'm planning on departing anytime soon.

Cremation in our family isn't (and hasn't been) a popular choice, everyone seems to opt for burial, so maybe that's why I have such a strong connect to the burial process over the alternate. "Tradition" has always played such a defining role in my life as to who I am and what I am.

iris lily
5-5-11, 8:51am
I would prefer to be cremated because I don't like the mental picture of a body rotting in the ground.
That captures my emotional reaction as well. IT's just seems neater and tidier to become ashes.

But in the end, I don't really care. Let those left behind do what makes them feel best.

Mrs-M
5-5-11, 9:20am
Tow things I overlooked mentioning, gravesites (burial), and the pall that sometimes surrounds visiting such, and cremation, where no gravesite is established. Having no gravesite tends to bother me.

treehugger
5-5-11, 12:47pm
I don't really care, since it is my belief that when I am dead, I will really be gone, ceased to exist, no more, and therefore cannot know or care what happens to my remains. However, I have no wish to take up real estate anywhere, so cremation is my preference. I also have had no need to visit the gravesites of departed loved ones (although I do enjoy wandering through old cemeteries, for the history), so I have no incentive to have a place where people can "visit" "me".

Thankfully, I have not yet had to deal with losing a parent (I have 7!) or sibling (I have 8), but I have lost all of my biological grandparents (have one step-grandmother living) and a dozen or so inlaws and friends. The only grave I have ever visited was my husband's paternal grandmother, and that's mostly because she's buried in a charming old cemetery (one of the oldest city cemeteries in California) and I use to go eat lunch "with" her when I worked in that town.

Kara

loosechickens
5-5-11, 2:09pm
there isn't anything about cremation that prevents a gravesite, Mrs-M. It isn't necessary that ashes be scattered. Both my parents decided toward the ends of their lives that they wanted to be cremated, but they had cemetery plots they had owned for many years, and we just buried the urns of ashes in those gravesites, complete with headstone, etc.

Mrs-M
5-6-11, 12:18am
I've been doing a lot of thinking about this and now that I've had time to digest everyone's comments, I'm feeling more and more at ease with having no actual "permanent" resting place.

Good point about still having a gravesite if cremation is chosen LC. One thing I've noticed in relation to cremation and resting places is, few people seem to choose having their ashes buried.

early morning
5-6-11, 8:21am
My father's ashes are buried in his cemetery lot, and my mother's ashes will be buried there, also. I'm not a gravesite visitor, although DH is. I love old cemeteries and like finding family history there, but don't want my body buried, if it can be helped. But then, as others have posted, I believe gone is gone, and I won't care or know or have awareness of what happens to my body once I've died, and I'm ok with that.

herisf
5-6-11, 8:41am
My father's ashes are in a very nice burial urn (shaped like a book) and it's in a mausoleum slot large enough for my disabled brother and my Mom. In fact, since my Dad's birthday was just a couple days ago, my older brother sent out a picture to us siblings letting us "see" how Dad's spot is looking now. For those who want cremation and a spot to visit, it's a very nice alternative (takes up less space, etc).

iris lily
5-6-11, 10:33am
When my dad died I remember having an immediate emotional reaction and that was: I wanted a "place" for him to be, but it didn't matter if it was ashes or a body. It turned out that my mother was surprisingly in favor of burial, so we did the whole embalming/makeup on the body schtick that is pretty awful. I was surprised at her decision because she's always been adamantly in favor of cremation, but in the end, tradition rules. Also, by then she was Jewish and maybe that played into it. Her own body was buried in the JEwish tradition.

peggy
5-6-11, 12:43pm
I have told my kids to burn/bury me in whatever fashion they are comfortable with since a funeral/service is for the living. We do not believe in any afterlife, so they are not tied to any religious tradition.

I've also told them to not feel obligated to keep everything I owned/created since these objects are not me. I'm sure they will keep some things, but I hope they hold a really big garage sale for the bulk of our stuff. Too often I have seen people burdened with the leavings of their parents lives feeling it's almost sacrilegious to get rid of anything.

domestic goddess
5-6-11, 5:23pm
DH was cremated (his preference), and his ashes buried in the same plot as his brother, who died in infancy. My dad just wanted to be thrown in a box and buried, without ceremony, but that didn't happen. My parents live in a small town, where there would have been much talk had my mother followed his wishes. So we had a private funeral service, attended by family and close friends. It helped me to have some kind of a simple service, to mark his passing. We also made a T-shirt, because he had several new ones in his drawer, with the handprints of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren on it, and I think he really would have liked that. He was buried with that in his coffin. Some of my mom's friends were a little upset that they couldn't be at the service to comfort her, and I feel bad about that, but we encouraged visits at home afterward, and many people dropped by and brought food.
So that my dd doesn't have to worry about what to do with my remains after I am gone, I have decided to be cremated and my ashes interred in my church's memorial garden.

Mrs-M
5-6-11, 8:27pm
You guys have it sooo together. It really helps reading everyone's entries. (Gives me strength). One area (related to death) that I need to come to terms with is the "finality" part. I think that's why burial (in my mind) has always stood out more predominantly over cremation. Whenever I come across an obituary that forecasts cremation, I think "permanency", which is true, but somehow the very thought of eliminating all signs of a dead persons body so soon after death is where I seem to get all hung up with it (cremation).

Maybe I've allowed myself to believe that there is more to the burial process than actually exists, and once a person is gone- regardless of whether or not they are buried or cremated, the same holds true for both types of departures. (A generation or two after the fact, and no one will remember you or will have known you, so really, I guess, it doesn't really matter if a person has a final resting place or not).

bae
5-6-11, 8:30pm
My grandfather left his body to science. This worked out very well, as the family is scattered to the four winds, and we had plenty of time to arrange a family gathering later in the year to celebrate his life, instead of rushing out immediately for a funeral. This was apparently part of his grand plan.

jennipurrr
5-6-11, 11:00pm
In the mid 80s I was in kindergarten and was one of the last classes to see Native American bones on display at a local museum. I still remember it vividly...you stood above them all laid out in skeleton form. As soon as I could conceptualize the idea of death, I decided I didn't really want to potentially be fodder for the local school kids one day...so I've told everyone in my life cremation for me.

pony mom
5-6-11, 11:04pm
Both of my parents have told me that they want to go from the morgue to the crematorium--no service or family gathering at all. I'm always kidding my mom that since she's such a clean-freak, I'll forego the urn and just vacuum her up and store her in the bag.

My uncle wants his ashes scattered somewhere on the trails at the Delaware Water Gap. We're planning a spring hike and if I mention it, maybe he'll show me where he wants it done, since neither of his kids want to do it. Most of my family is buried in one cemetery over one hour away from where we live now; we rarely visited when we lived nearer and we hardly ever visit there now. I like to think that they are around us all the time, and not in the ground so far away.

Rosemary
5-7-11, 5:09am
Our family is scattered around, too.
My relatives in Germany have a family plot where all the relatives have been buried for hundreds of years, in a cemetery that is park-like. Each plot in the cemetery is landscaped by the family that owns it, and the plots are fairly large - about 15 feet by 15 feet, I would estimate. I don't know exactly how it works, but they keep burying people in it.

My grandparents were of German heritage and never considered anything but a gravesite. When their daughter, my aunt, died in midlife, they purchased a plot for the three of them in the place that my parents lived at the time. My parents lived a few hours away from there with my grandmother when she was in her last years, and I always had the feeling that she was sad that her grave would not be visited regularly. (I do have a friend who still lives there who goes there a few times/year on her own, and I do appreciate the thought.) My aunt and my grandmother were both cremated, while my grandfather was buried in a casket, and the headstone bears all 3 names. My parents now live on the opposite side of the country from that gravesite.

To me, ashes being scattered results in becoming part of everything - somehow that is less 'nonexistence' to me than being buried in one place. But maybe that is because my family has always moved around.

A friend of ours died in a horrible accident when he was just 40. There was no funeral, but a celebration of his life that was held at the local planetarium and observatory, a place that would have been special to him, an optical scientist. People told stories and recollections, there were pictures of him throughout life, and a book for people to write in. We learned things about him that we never knew. We laughed and cried. For me, this provided much more closure than a funeral.

Mrs-M
5-8-11, 5:01pm
I appreciate all the additional entries. This thread has been "food for thought" for me and has allowed me step beyond that of what I normally do in order to move one step closer to deciding what's best.

Greg44
5-8-11, 7:41pm
Burial has always been the tradition in our family. Our Church (LDS) "discourages" cremation, but believes it is a "personal" choice and many more are be cremated. I think cost has a lot to do with it - one can be cremated locally for $ 627.00 and your loved ones ashes returned to you in a urn" - I think that is how the advertisment goes!

When my father-in-law died in Feb he was cremated - but one has to be careful - even cremations - can become very expensive if you start ordering all the bells and whistles the funeral home wants to sell. Not that that is wrong - they are in the business of selling a service, but know that there are options.

We had a family in our Church some years ago that lived very frugal lives. It was their family tradition to build their family member's their coffins. They were all pretty crafty for lack of a better word and everyone worked together to build, line it for their deceased. It was really something to see.

My choice is to be cremated and my wife wants to be buried (I said only if she goes last)! :D

Mrs-M
5-8-11, 11:00pm
Building coffins for family members sounds beautiful Greg44. I do like cremation as an option for situations where one is ravaged by disease or illness. I could see myself choosing cremation in this event as a way of getting back at whatever made me sick and cut my life short. (A sort of- you did this to me, now I'm going to do this to you). Plus, when one has to endure being cut up and carved up like some sort of science experiment and is left disfigured and mutilated as a result, then that too would be grounds enough for me to seek cremation over burial. (Get rid of all the ugliness).

Spartana
5-16-11, 4:57pm
I have never seen anything "evil or demonic" in cremation. I think it is an age old and touching way to pay tribute to a person and, IMHO, much better than being buried. My brother died at 29 and was cremeted and had his ashes scattered at sea. So the whole ocean became the place my Mom would "visit" him rather than in a cemetery or crypt. She would bring some flowers to throw off the end of the pier near her home on special occasions like his birthday. She said knowing that he was "one with nature and the sea, free to roam all 4 corners of the earth" made her feel at much greater peace than thinking of him buried in the cold, dark ground. So when my parents passed away they too were cremeted and had their ashes scattered at sea - and my sister and I opt for that as well. I think it's a very beautiful and noble way to honor the deceased. And I know of many people who choose to take some of the ashes and have them made into jewlery to wear in rememberance of that person (this is a service offered amonst others by the furneral people). Some have the ashes put into beautiful planters and plant a tree in them as a memorial. Others, like my Dad's second wife, was cremeted and had her ashes interend (sp?) in a masoleum wall at her favorite church - the Cyrstal Catherdral's Wall of Rememberance - along with a beautiful ceremony. Other's have theirs buried in a traditional cemetery plot (this is very common at VA cemerteries). And many other's just hold onto the ashes in a urn until they find just the right place to scatter them.

HappyHiker
5-16-11, 8:19pm
I vote for cremation. Both my parents pre-paid for their cremation--they lived across the country from us. We scattered my mom's ashes at the seaport where her favorite cruise ship left from. We almost got arrested doing that (thanks, Mom!)

And Dad? He had arranged to have his ashes scattered from a small airplane. So one by air and one by sea.

Me? Scatter me in the woods somewhere or in a flower filled wildflower meadow... maybe at the foot of a live oak tree--you know the kind with wide spreading branches that swoop to the ground? I like to visualize helping to fertilize that tree.

Fancy funerals, embalming, caskets, cement vaults and all that jazz? Totally wasteful and anti-nature IMHO. Yuck. Instead, take the money and throw me and you a fun party with good food, drink and live jazz.

Mrs-M
5-16-11, 8:33pm
I appreciate you taking the time to extend your take on the matter Spartana. (Such a helpful and insightful topic this has been for me). Re: my way of thinking related to cremation as being evil or demonic, I don't know where I get that from or why I feel that way, but somehow (in my mind) laying a body to rest after someone's passing seems so tranquil and calming to me, whereas putting a body into a furnace and vaporizing it seems, well, devilish (sort of). I can't explain it...

On the plus side, as I read through everyone's entries my acceptance and comfort level towards the process increases. It's always so nice hearing from others whenever one is at a crossroads of sorts related to which direction to take or which option to choose.

Mrs-M
5-16-11, 8:42pm
Hi HappyHiker. Just noticed your post after posting mine.


Originally posted by HappyHiker.
Fancy funerals, embalming, caskets, cement vaults and all that jazz? Totally wasteful and anti-nature IMHO. Yuck. Instead, take the money and throw me and you a fun party with good food, drink and live jazz. You're right. I'll admit that just thinking about all the caskets that are lowered into the ground daily (around the world) numbs me.

pinkytoe
5-16-11, 11:26pm
I have always liked the idea of being wrapped in cloth and buried so that nature can easily do its thing. I mean, realistically, one hundred years from now, no one will even know we walked the earth.

freein05
5-17-11, 2:38am
Cremation with my ashes scattered on Wheeler Ridge in the Sierras. We hike up Wheeler Ridge every year to enjoy the beautiful wildflowers and the view. You have a view to the south of the high country around Yosemite and to the high country around Lake Tahoe to the north. The view alone would make up for being burned a little plus the wildflowers could use a little fertilizer.

Mrs-M
5-17-11, 10:54am
Hi Pinkytoe. How enjoyable it is reading everyone's perspectives on this. Being cloth wrapped and lowered into the ground (minus the fancy expensive casket) does sound like a pleasant alternative as well.

Freein05. That sounds heavenly.

Just out of curiosity, has anyone here ever thought of having their very own mausoleum built (just for them)?

http://atlantisonline.smfforfree2.com/index.php?topic=3965.0

poetry_writer
5-17-11, 11:33am
I am going to be cremated. I chose this because I dont like traditional expensive funerals and having to pick out my Mom and Dads caskets was of course extremely difficult and I dont want my children having to do it. I also chose it because of the cost. I would rather my kids use any money available on a party, picnic, vacation or whatever they want. I wrote a little poem to be read by them after my death about remembering me by having fun, and put some of my favorite Bible promises on it.

Spartana
5-17-11, 12:57pm
I appreciate you taking the time to extend your take on the matter Spartana. (Such a helpful and insightful topic this has been for me). Re: my way of thinking related to cremation as being evil or demonic, I don't know where I get that from or why I feel that way, but somehow (in my mind) laying a body to rest after someone's passing seems so tranquil and calming to me, whereas putting a body into a furnace and vaporizing it seems, well, devilish (sort of). I can't explain it...



I understand what you mean. Cremation seems sort of violent compared the the beauty of a tranquil cemetery with all the soothing ritual that goes along with a funeral service. By comparision cremation seems a harsh and final way to go. But I try to think of it like my Viking ancestors who cremeted their dead - as a sort of heroic way to send the deceased along and return their bodies to nature (or Vahalla if you're a good warrior :-)!). I've also thought of having my body buried at sea (ala Bin Laden) via a Navy or CG ship with all the military hoopla (taps, etc...). It's an option that former military people have. But that seems too over the top to me and an even harsher and environmentally wrong. Although I do like the cremation and having my ashes buried in a VA cemertery. At least that way I get a marker and someone will plant a flag once or twice a year. That would be nice. Of course there is always the "Solent Green" option - "Solent Green is people!!!" :0!

Spartana
5-17-11, 1:11pm
I am going to be cremated. I chose this because I dont like traditional expensive funerals and having to pick out my Mom and Dads caskets was of course extremely difficult and I dont want my children having to do it. I also chose it because of the cost. I would rather my kids use any money available on a party, picnic, vacation or whatever they want. I wrote a little poem to be read by them after my death about remembering me by having fun, and put some of my favorite Bible promises on it.

Both my parents pre-payed for the cremation and ashes to be scattered at sea. It made everything unbelievably easy. After they passed, we just called the cremation place (Neptune Society or Omega Society or something like that) and they took care of everything from picking up the bodies, getting the death cert. arranging the cremation and boat and any services we may want to have. Even contacted places like the Soc. Security Admin, etc.. to n otify them of the deaths so we kids didn't have to bother with alot of that kind of thing.

Mrs-M
5-17-11, 1:55pm
Very nice Poetry_writer. My commitment towards making a decision related to this topic is getting closer and closer with each read. It's most freeing hearing other members thoughts.



Originally posted by Spartana.
By comparision cremation seems a harsh and final way to go.That's a great way of putting it. Another problem that exists in me as to the way I feel about burial over cremation, is my lack of ability in accepting the release of someone who has passed. I tend to hold on and embrace death the same way I embrace life instead of letting go. Nothing is preserved in the end, I have to (need to) learn to accept that fact.

freein05
5-17-11, 1:58pm
This may be a dumb question but are there registers where people can register where their ashes were scattered. This may be a good idea for a start up company.

Greg44
5-17-11, 4:58pm
... laying a body to rest after someone's passing seems so tranquil and calming to me, whereas putting a body into a furnace and vaporizing it seems, well, devilish (sort of). I can't explain it....

I think one thought is that burial is a more "reverent and respectful" way to lay the body to rest - given the belief we are of devine nature, children of a loving Heavenly Father, who created us.

If someone is against cremation, the new trend of green burials might be an option. I am still leaning towards cremation, the thought of my body slowly decomposing sort of creeps me out!

Tenngal
5-17-11, 6:55pm
I also have decided on cremation just in the past couple of years. I would still like to be buried and we have 3 gravesites. You are so correct, the thought of decomposing is creepy! I've discussed my wishes with my husband and he agrees. What is a "green burial?"

Mrs-M
5-18-11, 1:12am
Freein05. Hmmm, good question. Would be nice although knowing where someone chose to be recreated again and set free.

Greg44. You said it so very well in your opening statement. Yes, exactly how I feel. I agree, the decomposition process is nasty. All sorts of unimaginable things happen to a buried body. I've been reading up on it and boy oh boy...

Tenngal. One form of green burial I watched on TV is a process called "Liquefaction". (Alkaline Hydrolysis). A liquefaction procedure, as an alternative to cremation. This involves placing the corpse in a steel tube (coffin spa). Once the body is in the steel tube, a mixture of acid and water will be poured over it. The fluid will then be heated up to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, converting the corpse to a brown liquid within six to eight hours, with just a small pile of bones left behind. (Taken from the Web).

Spartana
5-18-11, 9:57am
OK, I think I'd choose cremation over a "green" burial - sounds sort of awful.
I think another reason people aren't comfortable with cremation is there is always that thought that you may not be getting dear departed Aunt Mabels ashes in that urn and will be getting someone elses ashes - or a combination of both or many others all mixed in together. Where as when you have a furneral, especially an open casket, and have a prosession from the service to the grave, you know that Aunt Mabel is the person being buried because you see. But of course cemeterys are often moved and the "remains" are relocated - as are masoleum walls that hold ashes - so you have that to content with, as well as illegal (and maybe legal) burials of other people on top of your long ago dear departed. Have heard of cemeterys put several people in one grave over the years.

beckyliz
5-18-11, 12:48pm
Cremation. The thought of having my body injected with preservatives and then interred not only strikes me as wasteful but meaningless. It's much easier on the earth or sea to deal with ashes than with metal and toxic preservatives.

This.

Mrs-M
5-19-11, 9:46pm
Oh boy, you just set me back a step Spartana win mentioning "nonspecific ashes". You just HAD to throw that in there didn't you! :laff:

Beckyliz. Pleasant choice.