I said NO

[Gardenarian]

And I'm really glad I did.

I keep giving up all my leisure time to other people/groups/demands. This is the first time I looked at it and said, NO, I don't want to to that, and I won't.

It's about time.

[fidgiegirl]

Well done!! It's hard at first, but feels good when you are off the hook.

I actually had a friend tell me something she admires about me is my ability to say no. I was not sure how I felt about it at the time, but mostly I was surprised because I didn't see myself as a "no" person. I was surprised she perceived me that way.

Again, good work.

[razz]

That is an important step in finding your own life choices. Next is to find a way to extricate from the current commitments.

[Mrs. Hermit]

I had to extricate from a commitment recently. I explained to the people involved that at this time, I wanted to focus both my time and my energy on other things that I had going in my life, and would no longer have the time/energy to continue the commitment. The people involved were bummed, and (probably) upset at me, although they didn't express it. I endured more torture from myself before making that call than I have since making that call. It is still hard, but I'm beginning to be glad I did it.

[Kat]

Good for you! It is hard to say "no" sometimes. That is why I like to remind myself that saying no to the things that don't matter to me allows me to say yes to the things that do.

[Mrs-M]

All my life I've struggled with using the word "no", but I'm finding that the older I get the easier it is. Good on you!

[Tenngal]

I said "no" to choir practice tonight. Probably in the dog house, but don't think I'll lose too much sleep.

[rosarugosa]

Kat: What a great way to look at it! With all due humility, I am wonderful at saying no. Mom so isn't, and I've learned from watching her. I've also helped her to say no on occasions that really warranted it. Of course, she is a much nicer person than I am. I'm not sure this is the skill everyone would wish to excel at, but it works for me.

[Tenngal]

I am saying "NO" to VBS this year. Always scheduled in late July, the hotest, most miserable time of year in TN, I always dread five nights of work with kids after a full day of work for me. Decided it is really too much, to expect myself to take part year after year...........

[puglogic]

What is VBS? (and congratulations for saying NO to it :) )

[Tenngal]

vacation bible school.................

[jlroussin]

I really started saying "no" to all of the various demands for my time that my sons' schools were putting on me. A few years ago, I was about to go crazy in May, because of SO much end of school year stuff. I'm now to where I just say no to almost all of it. Don't feel at all guilty. I'm not into this crazy-busy lifestyle that so many North Americans are into. I think it's pointless.

[treehugger]

With all due humility, I am wonderful at saying no. Mom so isn't, and I've learned from watching her. I've also helped her to say no on occasions that really warranted it. Of course, she is a much nicer person than I am. I'm not sure this is the skill everyone would wish to excel at, but it works for me.

I could have written this! I have many things I would like to change about myself, but this is not an area in which I need work. I should, however, probably work on being more generous with my time. ;)

Kara

[Tussiemussies]

When I was younger it was really hard to say no, but now it's gotten easy after practice. At first I was really nervous for awhile and then got more relaxed. Sometimes I really felt it was because of my strict upbringing that I had so much fear of saying no, if I said no as a child there would be severe consequences, Then I had to break myself out of that concept. Think I am balanced now, there for awhile I went to the opposite expression and was a little too assertive but I feel peace with it now inside and don't feel thatI have to be too assertive or passive...

Good luck to you in speaking up for yourself. I can relate to your situation. ;)

[redfox]

I like to tell folks that 'no' is a complete sentence in the English language!

[iris lily]

I don't have a problem saying "no" as many of you probably know! ha ha. I am the architect of my life, and if I don't guard my time to use as I wish, who will?

[catherine]

I was just reading Quaker minister Richard J. Foster's Freedom of Simplicity for the umpteenth time (one of my favorite books), and he spends a LOT of time on how to discern when to say yes and when to say no. The idea is, true simplicity begins when you are centered on God's will (or your inner spirit or anything else you call the divinity within)--and saying "yes" too often simply distracts you from your mission, and creates undue complexity in your life.

Man, I'm VERY BAD at saying no. I could write a list of things that I wish I had said no to: most of them had much more regrettable consequences than turning down a volunteer opportunity. Oh, well.

Good for you, gardenarian! Keep it up!

[iris lily]

I am constantly worrying about having said "yes" at work and now obligating my work unit to years of crap. I worry a whole lot more about that than any decision in my personal life. It's pretty easy to back out of personal life stuff, but the work: will eat up resources for time eternal with limited value, I believe.

[Bastelmutti]

I recently said no also, but had mixed feelings about it. It was an ethnic community activity, enjoyed by the kids in the program, but ultimately too much work for me on a weekly basis. Since I still hold 2 volunteer positions in the community (one negligible, the other one less regularly scheduled work than the one I said no to), I have made peace with it. Still hard when you feel you should to it because you owe a debt of gratitude toward your parents, grandparents, and community!

[kitten]

So cool. I recently made a determination to stop doing art for free for people. The way I put it to them is - "Look, I'd really like to do a drawing for you, but since my business has taken off, my paid work takes priority now. I just can't do stuff for free anymore. So sorry!" Some people get it, and others don't and never will.

I once drew a Facebook avatar and some artwork for a music program for a person I only ever knew on Facebook. He loved it, and then wanted me to keep doing this kind of thing for no money. I explained I couldn't do any more. He objected, wheedled, whined about it. I told him I had already given him my artwork for free. And he had the SACK to reply: "Well, that wasn't really for free, you know. I credited you, so you got some exposure." OMFG!




Sometimes it happens involuntarily though.

[CathyA]

Vacation Bible School.