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Polliwog
5-5-11, 10:53pm
I am in my sixties and you would think that by now I would have it all figured out, for myself at least. However, I have been struggling with my so-called Christian beliefs, going to church, and overall belief in God.

My whole family is very Christian. To even question whether Christianity is "the way" is very hard for me among my family members. I am very close to my 90 year old father and I don't want to hurt him, so I can't tell him that I have discovered my disbelief in Christianity, specifically, and maybe even God, generally. You may think I am a chicken (I know I am) but I know this would upset my father. I take him to church and I have made a real effort to "believe." But it is illogical to me.

Anyway, Humanism really appeals to me and I am doing some reading up on it. Just thought I would inquire here whether anyone is practicing Humanism or subscribes to its philosophy.

BTW, my questioning is not new, but at this point in life, I want to embrace what I can believe in, and it is NOT Christianity.

redfox
5-5-11, 11:18pm
Try the Unitarian church in your community... have this conversation there. I suspect you'll enjoy it immensely, and feel well met.

Polliwog
5-5-11, 11:21pm
Try the Unitarian church in your community... have this conversation there. I suspect you'll enjoy it immensely, and feel well met.

Thank you Redfox. I have actually searched out the closest Unitarian to me - about 25 miles away. I do want to attend sometime. There is nothing like that where I live in SoCal. I feel like I am in a "bible belt".

mattj
5-5-11, 11:22pm
I have been reading on and off about humanism for awhile. I started going to a UU church awhile back because, at least the one I attend, is focused on love, compassion and acceptance of differences... plus, they were closer to my home. I've gone to some humanist, skeptic and atheist groups and really find it great to socialize in these settings. I'm by no means a well informed Humanist but I like what I've been exposed to so far. You could always try attending one or two meetings to see if you click with the group.

Polliwog
5-5-11, 11:35pm
Thanks for your reply mattj. As I responded above, nothing is really close to me in miles, I agree that UU might just be the ticket for me.

Perplexa
5-7-11, 7:45am
You might also see if there is an unprogrammed style Quaker meeting in your area. Although Quakers are Christians, they don't place any emphasis on evangelism or on showing how Christian your beliefs are, and they place a strong emphasis on individual experience and realization of truth, and on treating all beings peacefully and non-violently. Although I felt like it would take a while to "break through" socially at my local meeting, I felt very comfortable and welcome there, despite being Jewish and an atheist.

CathyA
5-7-11, 9:23am
You're definitely not alone Polliwog!

Aspen
5-7-11, 10:54am
I believe that UU has an online congregation for those who don't live close to a church. This would allow you to interact with others and maintain some privacy from your family.

BTW, your desire to not upset your elderly father is not cowardice, but love, and that is beautiful.

Polliwog
5-7-11, 1:51pm
You're definitely not alone Polliwog!

I knew I wouldn't be alone on these forums. You are all very supportive of diversity. Thank you CathyA.

Polliwog
5-7-11, 1:55pm
I believe that UU has an online congregation for those who don't live close to a church. This would allow you to interact with others and maintain some privacy from your family.

BTW, your desire to not upset your elderly father is not cowardice, but love, and that is beautiful.

Aspen, thank you so much for your comment. It is true, I have great love and admiration for my father.

Zoebird
5-7-11, 5:41pm
In the alternative, most quakers are humanist. There are quakers who are hard-core christian (if you can be that and quaker), but most of them are humanists. So, another community. Though, finding an unprogrammed meeting house in the west of the US is tougher than the east.

We attended quaker meeting for about 3 years and really enjoyed it. When we moved here, we looked for a community, but they only meet about once a year.

chord_ata
5-8-11, 2:35pm
I believe that UU has an online congregation ...

Any idea what the site might be? The obvious UU site looks pretty static to me.

SoSimple
5-9-11, 10:20pm
Lots of sympathy for you as I'm in a similar sort of situation. My parents are in their 70's and as my brother died a few years back I don't feel I can discuss my real beliefs with them (such as they are - I'm still figuring them out). Fortunately we are separated by an ocean and 3000+ miles so it's not a huge problem for me to avoid the "and how was church today" discussion, especially if I don't call on weekends!

I have been to both UU and Quaker congregations. The quaker meeting was very, very, very small, but I enjoyed the meditative aspect of it. The UU congregation I found to be a little too bureaucratic: I guess I don't like too much institutionalism in my personal life :) Both very welcoming though and very much about helping you discover your path.

I've had some interesting discussions via email with an old college friend who after growing up atheist turned to Buddhism, but found the local buddhist religious communities to be too rigid in their doctrines (who'd have thought it!) and so now goes to a quaker congregation. He suggested Karen Armstrong's books and I've read "The Case for God" which was quite fascinating - a history of our understanding of god, such as we can ever comprehend an entity (an inadequate description) that is infinite.

Polliwog
5-9-11, 10:54pm
Thank you SoSimple for your understanding. The whole religion discussion can be tricky when you love your family and they are at opposite ends of belief from you. I did speak to my sister today about this and she is very understanding even though a Christian and very conservative. I explained to her that I went to church with my son and his wife on Mother's Day. They belong to a very evangelical, wealthy church. The pastor, during his sermon, spoke of "the end being near, very near." It was such a downer for me because I remember going to a mainline protestant church growing up and never heard of end times or everyone being together in heaven. The message was more about following the commandments and doing unto others... In many of the large Christian churches today it's all about living today in anticipation of living for eternity. It is just too much. I believe it is mind control IMHO.

Jill Sanders
5-9-11, 11:07pm
Polliwog, I too an 60 and have started to deeply question my spirituality. I am passed the stage where I believe everything the Catholic Church teaches. And, I too am not sure if I am even Christian. I DO, however, believe in a higher being and an afterlife. I still attend church because I feel that it gives me some basis for focusing on love and compassion for others. I often take a spiritually oriented book with me that agrees more with my beliefs and I tend to tune out what is being said and read the book. It feels good to me to be close to other people and I suspect many of them are going through the same issues.

Rosemary
5-10-11, 7:44am
The online UU community is here
http://clf.uua.org/

Polliwog
5-10-11, 2:42pm
Jill, I agree with you on attending church for focusing on others, etc. I am sure that there are lots of attendees who take in what they want and leave the rest. I guess I could take a book with me, if I sat in the back of the pews. Hahaha.

Polliwog
5-10-11, 2:43pm
Rosemary, thanks for posting the online site. I actually found it last night. It looks very interesting. I'll peruse it more carefully later.

chord_ata
5-10-11, 3:50pm
Rosemary, thanks for posting the online site. I actually found it last night. It looks very interesting. I'll peruse it more carefully later.

ditto