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Chicken lady
11-23-17, 4:28pm
So “Black Friday” shopping has opened in stores, and we have begun discussing the holidays in earnest at my house. All of the family is amply (and more) supplied with stuff and has the means to provide for their own needs and most wants.

we have scheduled the annual “journey east” which I hate, but which has been blessedly shortened to just over 40 hours with dh family (I plan to sleep through at least 16) and enriched by the promise of time with my brother and his girls.

dd is flying east earlier in December to visit my parents and suggested I come along, but I had dismissed the idea. I thought it only made sense if I could do that instead of the family trip east (inviting dh family to visit us and most likely seeing only his parents)

but when I called my mom to schedule she was happy she would get to see my brother and me together, but sad that there would be so much company that she would not be able to take the time to have me help her empty the attic (sorting through what to keep and what to discard - they have remodeled the first floor and included an accessible suite and a large storage room for seasonal items)

Also my father had told her they would need to have a smaller tree this year as he suffered a minor injury putting the (live, 15ft) tree up last year and hasn’t gotten younger.

i bought the plane ticket. Then I e-mailed my mom “merry Christmas! I will be coming with [dd] to empty your attic and put up your big tree.” My dad said he will take her out ahead of time to choose and mark the tree and then cut it when we arrive so as to make the best use of time.

So far, so good.

what are you doing to keep your holiday focus where you want it?

Teacher Terry
11-23-17, 4:34pm
That is awesome CL! I miss my parents a lot so enjoy them while you can. We stopped giving gifts about 10 years ago to friends, etc. I still give one to my sister and I usually give my kids $ or a gift card to somewhere they want to go or we take them out to eat before the holidays. On xmas eve my dil makes a traditional Polish xmas dinner which is delicious. It is a fun evening.

Yppej
11-23-17, 4:52pm
DS comes up with good gift ideas for various family members so all I have to do is pay. I am not attending the company holiday party which although free admission would have various hidden costs (gas, coat check tip, clothing), serve tempting foods outside my diet, and be more formal than I enjoy.

My biggest challenge will be avoiding the sweets at the office.

Chicken lady
11-23-17, 5:02pm
We have never exchanged with friends (aside from the annual swap of leftover cookies with the family we gather to sing with every year)

our family list has been thinned to my parents, dh parents, gift cards for dh 5 nieces and nephews under 18, our (now 6) kids, and heart grandson.

So, mom is done. Dad is a challenge, in laws are not my problem. i want to do one or two nice gifts for each kid (already bought one) plus stockings, which are mostly fun/practical/edible. Heart daughter will give me some ideas for her boy. I generally facilitate some activity or skill he is focused on. (A tool kit, ice skates...)

i also want to take gifts for my brother’s kids since I will actually see them this year!

BikingLady
11-24-17, 4:38am
I finally reached Peace with myself at holidays. The hoopla was never me, yet the obligation pit was so huge I could never fill it. This is the 3 Christmas without Mom the over the top holiday person. I struggled with what to do for dad who has always said he hated the crap. He tossed everything holiday out first after mom passed, yet I still tried the first year to decorate. I Realized he was serious. I felt bad yesterday but I did not drive over for thanksgiving as it was just another day for him.

We helped out son and his wife out last year and I wrote a cardboard card that said Happy Everything, no gifts for 6 years. Other son is disability and our love and support are enough. Husband says every day is Christmas to him. So we are all past materialism. Never exchanged with anyone else.

rosarugosa
11-24-17, 6:05am
I've really been successful in dialing it back over the past several years. We picked up a few tins of cookies at Costco for hostess & work party gifts, and I bought a bunch of amaryllis bulbs (but cheaped out this year and bought them at Ocean State Job Lot instead of the usual nursery, so will see how quality compares). It looks like all the work-related gift giving is about to go away, so that will save me about $150.
Mom usually takes me, DH and DSis out to dinner sometime around xmas, and we all pay for Mom's cell phone for the year.
If we go to niece's house on xmas eve with DH's family, they usually do a "Yankee Swap." I've decided I will not participate in any more of these swaps since I invariably end up with something that goes straight into the donation box.
I still have some of my old lists and there were years when we spent well over $2000 on holiday shopping. Now it is closer to $200, which is much more reasonable, especially for a holiday I don't really even like.

Gardnr
11-24-17, 8:08am
DH's family always bought cheap crap for everyone (which drove me nuts). 20 or so years back, I got them to a "name draw" for several years. Then about 10? years ago got them to stop that! Win!!!!

My family is big and growing. When I was 14yo we started drawing names. Everyone buys for only 1 person. I'm 56...we still do this. DH gives me the same thing every year (gift cert to my fave quilt shop) and he gets the same thing every year from me...a trip to our football team's bowl game.

I am contemplating driving 2 miles to get a black friday deal on quilt batting. They opened 8 minutes ago. AM I too late?

iris lilies
11-24-17, 8:12am
This year our friend of excessive gifting will be out of state for two weeks at peak holiday time. I am hoping, surely, this will cancel any gifting extravaganza.

I have a couple of presents wrapped and ready for DH, more than I usually have. This is all!

catherine
11-24-17, 8:32am
We started dialing down the holidays last year, and it was GREAT. So much saner. And this year, I'm going to propose we simplify even more. One son's wife was unemployed for a few months (she just got a job); one son's wife is having a baby; one son is unemployed; and my daughter has a financial management coach because she can't make ends meet and she's relying too much on credit cards. And we're considering buying another house. So NONE of us is fit to be spending. We're spending Christmas together and that's good enough for us. I'll probably make everyone a Snapfish calendar with family photos, as I have done in the past.

Williamsmith
11-24-17, 8:45am
I have to admit when I was working the holidays just meant extra work for me and always being away from home so I got conditioned to a hohum attitude which my kids and wife understood but still wished I had “The Spirit”. My youngest son always put up lights.....which I hated....and then after New Years it fell to me to take them all down and pack them away......which I double hated.

I usually had one guaranteed explosive arguement with the wife every year. It was the day she decided to put up the tree. I grumbled plenty about it because it meant getting the damn box down out of the attic, all the accompanying decorations...and there are hundreds of them, untangling the tree bulbs, everything had to be just so. Have you ever disagreed with doing something but every year had to be the major force behind getting it accomplished?

Every year a fight, every year an apology. That’s what the start of Christmas was for the longest time. And then we downsized.....well, I downsized, the wife came along for the ride. I got her to throw out half the Christmas crap. Moved into a condo and downsized our tree. Now, the mess is perfectly manageable even by a grinch like me. One little plug in plexiglass snowman by the front door and that’s it.

But this year, this year is the greatest gift. This year.....no tree, no decorations....I board a plane and fly to my youngest son’s Texas home for the holidays. I’m planning on going out and buying a ton of lights and decorations and putting them out on his porch and lawn and on his house. And then I’m flying home and leaving him the mess.

Chicken lady
11-24-17, 9:12am
Lol, Williamsmith, I wonder if he will get the point or be delighted by your “transformation”?

dd1 works in construction. Dh just ordered her an assortment of high quality socks (something we know she hates spending money on that will improve her work days) so she is done (the gift I bought was for her and her dh)

i think i will put up my lights today - they go on the inside of my 4 season “porch”, and I often put them up as early as solstice. Also baking pies today as we are celebrating thanksgiving with our girls tomorrow.

SteveinMN
11-24-17, 9:13am
what are you doing to keep your holiday focus where you want it?
Oddly, this is one area where "just say no" works quite well for us.

For all of the paper ads and incessant emails trumpeting Black Friday sales (and, soon, Cyber Monday sales), we have no plans to buy anything through the weekend except a few groceries. DW says she is already done shopping except for one gift. I have yet to start shopping for the two gifts I'm buying but I have some solid ideas and enough available time to sandwich shopping in between the marketing colossus this weekend and the last-minute gotta-get-a-gift-any-gift of later December. The total number of people in DW's family who are exchanging gifts this year is down, once again, from last year. It's getting together that's more important. We all have what we need and reasonably want.

As for my family, my mom typically makes a big deal out of buying gifts with time and money she doesn't have. Us kids have told her for years that we'd rather just have a time to get together, eat, tell funny stories, play board games, etc. This year she's been too busy and too lacking in energy for shopping or decorating the house and she's encountered some bigger bills. So my sister and I took the initiative to suggest that this year we just do a pot-luck brunch instead of this gift extravaganza that takes half a day between gifts and meals (yeah, meals). To further emphasize that this is not Christmas like every other, we picked a day other than Christmas Eve/Day to get together. No pressure to decorate, to worry about pre-Christmas deadlines, to tie pot-luck foods to the holiday,...

DW had fun picking out pictures for our Christmas cards and they're here but as yet unmailed. Decorating the house waits for some early December birthdays to pass (can't mingle the occasions) and that gets simpler every year because neither one of us is up for hours of rescuing the trimmings from the basement, setting them up, maintaining them (dusting, etc.), and taking them down again after New Year's. A small pre-lit tree, some selected ornaments with good stories behind them, and some other house decorations and we're good to go. We'll have some Christmas parties we can attend; if we're up to it, we'll go. If not, we won't.

Keeping Christmas small is a bit of a battle. But it's well worth it, IMHO.

iris lilies
11-24-17, 10:32am
I am making a dozen holiday floral arrangements for the houses on our neighborhood’s house tour. That will be a crazed, but fun, two days. I am doing it as cheaply as possible by clipping holly and white pine and blue spruce from trees around the park and community garden and I have been collecting Goidwill containers. I will need to buy flowers and spray paint to jazz up some dried material, and it should all be around $10 per design.


For our own decor,
I’ll wait to see if I am tired of it all after our house tour. But if not, I will buy a very small fresh tree, throw icycles on it and two strings of lights, and done. It can later be chufked into the dumpster pretty easily.

early morning
11-24-17, 11:06am
Iris Lilies, I'm sure your door arrangements will be awesome, can you post some pix when you're done? I gotta say I love Christmas - the lights, the decorations, the events (home tours! horse parades! driving around looking at light displays!) and all that stuff. I am not religious, so for me it's about brightening up the short days and doing fun stuff with family and friends (if you think the above events are fun, that is - I do realize that lots of people DON'T like this stuff, lol). I love antique decorations and decorating the house. I like making things out of nothings. Most of our tree ornaments have lovely memories attached to them - it's sort of like a memory/souvenir tree. This year I brought home a brass witch ornament from Salem, a wooden star from Enfield, a small covered bridge from Bennington, a beautiful metal maple leaf from Shelburne, and a brass ornament with blueberries from Ogunquit. Each year, I relive road trips and remember family and friends who have gifted me with many lovely ornaments. for me, it's better than a photo album. We put a string of lights on the porch. Last year, someone gave DD one of those nylon blow-up Minions, so I guess we'll see if the outside cats shred it or not! Mostly I don't like those things, but I'm willing to share the porch, lol. I have a glass front cupboard in my dining room that houses many of our old holiday decorations for each season - right now it's housing a bunch of turkeys. If I could figure out how to post pix I would do so. And today we're getting our tree, while 2nd child is here to help put it up. I realize not everyone is into the holidays, and that's great - everyone should be happy and comfortable, whatever they decide to do!

Gardnr
11-24-17, 11:17am
Black Friday shopping is half complete 20 yards (it's all they had) of 90w batting for quilts...40% off and then 25% off total purchase and a $50 gift card that's been aging on the counter. It's from Joann's but I cannot say no to saving that much $ . My favorite local quilt shop opens in an hour-I will go there to see if anything strikes me as a must-have. I make a lot of charity quilts for local needs so this savings is significant for my budget.

Life is good https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v9/fa5/1.5/16/1f642.png:-) I'll be doing any further shopping tomorrow in our small mountain town to support small businesses and local families. I don't need to purchase anything else but if something fun is found, I'll do that https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v9/fa5/1.5/16/1f642.png

We :-)

Zoe Girl
11-24-17, 1:52pm
I actually went out and shopped today. It wasn't bad, and i feel good aboutwhat i got. Without the deals today i really wouldn't be able to get the gifts i wanted to. I got my daughter a special turquoise pendant for her birthday and now got her a nice silver chain over 50% off. For my 2 SILs i got some good deals on shirts, they both don't buy themselves clothes and don't have money often for this, i also got a toy for grandbaby, my first choice was sold out since i didn't get there super early but got a similar toy for $5 more. While i was there i got 4 games for 50% off for my program, games that need to be replaced and kids love.

Teacher Terry
11-24-17, 2:35pm
When my kids were small we had a lot of gifts to buy since DH's family was big. I would shop all year and keep a notebook to keep track of it all. Eventually we went to just buying gifts for the kids under 18 on his side and everyone a gift on my side because it was small. Sadly my xmas list decreased as the older people died and the kids grew up. I also exchanged gifts with a fair number of friends. WE had a big house that I decorated everything. My youngest son was really into it and always helped me. Now the tree is a foot tall and sits on a table and I have a small box of decorations which includes the outdoor stuff too. I decorated last night in under 30 min's. If I had grandchildren I would be much more into it. About 10 years ago DH and I decided to stop exchanging gifts because really if we want something we buy it. I loved all the busyness and craziness of the holidays when my kids were small. Even though I was going to college full time and taking finals right up until xmas we still baked all kinds of stuff with the kids helping. I would send out 40 xmas cards with a handwritten letter in each. No time for TV back then for me. I also stopped sending cards about 10 years ago.

sweetana3
11-24-17, 2:52pm
Gardnr: Strangely online Walmart can often have rolls of good batting for all quilts that will be used and washed a lot. Here is a great online deal and they can usually deliver to a store near you. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Pellon-Natures-Touch-Natural-Blend-80-20-Batting-with-Scrim-96-Wide-30-Yard-Roll/38570720

I also do charity quilts (have done hundreds) and am always looking for value.

Gardnr
11-24-17, 4:42pm
Gardnr: Strangely online Walmart can often have rolls of good batting for all quilts that will be used and washed a lot. Here is a great online deal and they can usually deliver to a store near you. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Pellon-Natures-Touch-Natural-Blend-80-20-Batting-with-Scrim-96-Wide-30-Yard-Roll/38570720

I also do charity quilts (have done hundreds) and am always looking for value.

I appreciate the link-I may explore this next time I need batting (like in 2019:)) I detest online shopping in general and rarely do it. Even the rare occasion I buy at local big box, at least I'm helping to employ members of my community.

My most recent online experience? I spent 30 minutes this morning cancelling an "automatic monthly" account for something I purchased in October as a trial. They have now billed me nearly $350 and I've received nothing. The begging to remain a customer goes on and on while I'm asking PLEASE cancel and close my account..... I consider myself quite online savvy but they tell me I missed something in the fine print because this monthly subscription is there ma'am. And although they require email, I received none and they told me I would not. "Then how do I contact you?" "well, you would have to remember the website address". They would not email me cancellation codes....I had to write them all down along with their phone number (thank goodness for quality information from Capital One on my statement. Needless to say I'm feeling quite BURNED right now.

OK. Back to Christmas....fa la la la la, la la la la:cool:

Teacher Terry
11-24-17, 5:23pm
I love online shopping but I never sign up for any free trials for anything because they scam you.

Tybee
11-25-17, 8:40am
I too love Christmas, although I think it depends on where I live, how much I get into it. It was so warm in South Carolina that we made little fuss, and the only wonderful seasonable thing I remember is 4 guys from the Marine Corps Band giving a little impromptu brass concert down on the main street for beer money. That was lovely.

Now up here in Michigan, where it is so dark, I love the tree displays in the stores and I love looking at the trains and the sleds--a visual reminder of so much that was beautiful in childhood. I even don't mind the Christmas lights up early, and that used to bother me. I figure I have limited Christmases left and so wish to enjoy each one and savor what is beautiful in the greens and the lights.

iris lilies
12-9-17, 5:59pm
Iris Lilies, I'm sure your door arrangements will be awesome, can you post some pix when you're done? I gotta say I love Christmas - the lights, the decorations, the events (home tours! horse parades! driving around looking at light displays!) and all that stuff.

..

Well, these house tour decorations are not door decor, they are floralhttp://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=2030&stc=1http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=2031&stc=1

Designs. Photo attached.

They are typical classic red and green fresh floral designs, nothing interesting. But here is the sweet thIng about them: these cost an average of $7.00 to make up. They would run $25 to $45 at a florist.

I have been snagging red containers at the thrift stores for two years when I see them under $2. Some of the prettiest were 50 cents.

I cut holly with berries and white pine in our public park. I found scads of red Nandina berries in New Mexico.

I bought 25 roses and 20 carnation for $51.00 and made 11 arrangements.

JaneV2.0
12-9-17, 6:04pm
I love your thrifty solution to holiday decor!
I suppose I should dust off my fake poinsettias...but nah.

rosarugosa
12-9-17, 6:29pm
I love the arrangements, IL, even the ones that are upside-down! :)
We have holly bushes, boxwood, and hemlock in the garden that I typically raid for holiday decor. There is plenty of pine to be raided in our beloved local woods and I made a mental note of a beautiful upright juniper with lots of berries on our nearby rail trail.

tazmeinie
12-11-17, 2:57am
Well, new idea for me but then its unique and an attractive decor for the holiday season.:+1:

Chicken lady
12-23-17, 10:43am
I visited my mother and decorated her house
The gifts are wrapped and under the tree.
i put out all the lights, but not all the decorations
dh is making a giant grocery list
one bed left to make
one tablecloth to wash
pies to bake
fudge to make
my son arrives tonight with wife and dogs
my in laws arrive tomorrow night
my daughter is coming with dog and husband Christmas day
my in laws leave the morning of the 26th
and that afternoon our oldest and dearest family friends arrive - and there will be 16 people and three dogs in our house
We will eat, we will sing, and some of us will dance (because Lucy is 3)
the 27th we’ll be back to my son’s family
and we will rest.

Yppej
12-23-17, 3:56pm
Everything bought and wrapped. Will spend time tomorrow with extended family but Christmas may be only with my son depending on if/when the streets are plowed from Monday morning's snowstorm.

JaneV2.0
12-24-17, 11:16am
The one package I sent--in plenty of time--is lost somewhere in the Willamette Valley. >:(

I got this email from a friend "It's a sign of the times when your grandson asks if his father can take him to a weed shop so he can get something for his grandmother for Christmas..." :~)

catherine
12-24-17, 11:19am
The one package I sent--in plenty of time--is lost somewhere in the Willamette Valley. >:(

I got this email from a friend "It's a sign of the times when your grandson asks if his father can take him to a weed shop so he can get something for his grandmother for Christmas..." :~)

LOL!!! That truly is a sign of the times! When were high school kids forced to watch Reefer Madness? Boy, truly a sign of the times.

Rogar
12-24-17, 11:49am
I have modest Christmas Day plans with a sibling. Through the month I’ve managed to make personal contact with most everyone that is important to my life, either by a phone call, visit or meal in person to share good wishes and a handshake or hug. The large family gatherings are a thing of the past for me. Some I miss very much, Some comes as a little relief.

iris lilies
12-24-17, 12:19pm
The one package I sent--in plenty of time--is lost somewhere in the Willamette Valley. >:(

I got this email from a friend "It's a sign of the times when your grandson asks if his father can take him to a weed shop so he can get something for his grandmother for Christmas..." :~)

Last night at a party a group of us boomers were standing around sharing weed stories. I bought some of the legal stuff in Colorado ladt month and transported it, illegally, home. All of us are ages of grannies and grandpas.

JaneV2.0
12-24-17, 1:43pm
Last night at a party a group of us boomers were standing around sharing weed stories. I bought some of the legal stuff in Colorado ladt month and transported it, illegally, home. All of us are ages of grannies and grandpas.

Geezers are well-represented among cannabis users. My friend uses it for insomnia. All good.