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ToomuchStuff
2-12-22, 8:18pm
It has been a bad while. Several deaths, one near miss, just a bunch of (word not allowed).
A couple weeks back, we got to have a celebration of life for my late boss (2020) and our late coworker and gal that took care of my late boss and then current one (2021).
At our celebration of life, I learned that signing up on you drivers license (at least in my state) for organ donation, places you on the donation list for only my state. There is another sign up for national.

Simplemind
2-12-22, 8:32pm
If you google national organ donation registry a bunch pops up.

happystuff
2-12-22, 9:43pm
One need not wait to die to donate. We have had family members participate one way or another in Alliance for Paired Kidney Donation. There are also opportunities for bone marrow, plasma, blood donation, etc.

ToomuchStuff
2-12-22, 11:40pm
One need not wait to die to donate. We have had family members participate one way or another in Alliance for Paired Kidney Donation. There are also opportunities for bone marrow, plasma, blood donation, etc.

I know that all too well.
While our gal donated 7 organs as well as arteries and veins, in 2019, I informed work, that I may be quitting, if my sibling needed a kidney as cancer was detected in one.

catherine
2-13-22, 1:54pm
So sorry about your sad winter, TMS. Organ donation is is such a selfless act, particularly living donations.

iris lilies
2-13-22, 2:05pm
So sorry about your sad winter, TMS. Organ donation is is such a selfless act, particularly living donations.
Our friends sister donated one of her kidneys to a random young person she didn’t know. She just felt moved to do it.


Within a year the kidney was rejected.


Sorry I’m not giving up an organ but I do give blood, a renewable source. Neither of us have given in more than a year though, we were avoiding the second round of Covid.

Teacher Terry
2-13-22, 2:12pm
They have to wait until I am dead for my organs unless it’s one of my children.

LDAHL
2-13-22, 2:55pm
I didnít realize that about state-only organ lists. I always thought there was some huge list for the whole country, although maybe I got that from TV.

I have the organ box checked on my driverís license, but I guess Iím fine with it as long as my vintage body parts donít go to waste. Give blood too, although probably not often enough.

Not sure Iím a good enough person to donate an organ while still living to a stranger, although I have heard that if they take a slice of your liver that it will grow back.

rosarugosa
2-13-22, 5:22pm
On the MMM forum, a woman documented her odyssey of deciding to donate a kidney to a stranger. It seemed like she just felt it was something she HAD to do. I am in awe of such selflessness, but I think I could only do it for someone I knew and loved.

iris lilies
2-13-22, 5:30pm
I would never donate an egg either. Of course now mine are all dried up and don’t even exist. But at the time when I had fresh ones, I can’t think of any situation in real life where I would go through all that medical treatment you have to go through to support egg harvest. And the seal on the deal would be I wouldn’t want my genetic material out there where I couldn’t control it, see what is happening to it.

rosarugosa
2-13-22, 5:56pm
I would never donate an egg either. Of course now mine are all dried up and don’t even exist. But at the time when I had fresh ones, I can’t think of any situation in real life where I would go through all that medical treatment you have to go through to support egg harvest. And the seal on the deal would be I wouldn’t want my genetic material out there where I couldn’t control it, see what is happening to it.

This resonates with me 100%.

lmerullo
2-14-22, 7:32am
I have reason to believe that family members left behind might be able to overrule your organ donation wishes. No link, but I've "heard" that can happen. As in NOT harvest the organs, not the other way around...

IL - I understand your egg concerns. However, I'm the opposite. I would happily donate eggs. I would also surrogate birth for an anonymous (or family) mother. However, that ship has sailed!!! I would not donate a kidney, but that's because I have concerns I might need it due to ongoing issues with that department.

iris lilies
2-14-22, 9:03am
I have reason to believe that family members left behind might be able to overrule your organ donation wishes. No link, but I've "heard" that can happen. As in NOT harvest the organs, not the other way around...

IL - I understand your egg concerns. However, I'm the opposite. I would happily donate eggs. I would also surrogate birth for an anonymous (or family) mother. However, that ship has sailed!!! I would not donate a kidney, but that's because I have concerns I might need it due to ongoing issues with that department.
Theoretically, and only theoretically, I would be more likely to be a surrogate womb than donate genetic material because that is a one and done action.

But since I am medical-system avoidant, completely uninterested in pregnancy and birth, and uninterested in helping people or in populating the earth, I still would be the last person to do it.

ToomuchStuff
2-14-22, 9:23am
I have reason to believe that family members left behind might be able to overrule your organ donation wishes. No link, but I've "heard" that can happen. As in NOT harvest the organs, not the other way around...



I believe that can happen if you give them medical power of attorney, without directives, which they are supposed to follow.

For a long time I figured the idea would never cross my mind. I didn't like the idea (since being looked at as not even human by parts of my family), of being best used as parts.
But after having an older friend and a friends 14 year old daughter, get heart transplants, a friend get a double lung transplant (thanks to his employers screw up), one friend get a liver transplant (and he is on the list again as it is failing), several people I know needing kidney transplants, I have now seen both sides of the thing, first hand. Since I would prefer cremation, due to cost, why not let families have more time with their loved ones?


As of now, though, I am awaiting a horrible phone call. My bosses family, called me to inform me, that the oldest brother passed, while being released from the hospital. He has been fighting with them and they are not talking, so if he doesn't answer the phone, I get to inform him. Too many deaths so far this year.

happystuff
2-14-22, 9:40am
So sorry, TMS. Condolences and prayers going out.

iris lilies
2-14-22, 9:40am
TMS sorry to hear yet another death in your circle.

Teacher Terry
2-14-22, 11:46am
So sorry TMS. You have had so much loss.

ApatheticNoMore
2-14-22, 1:15pm
I don't get it, one of the reasons for not reproducing is not wanting to continue one's genetic material (that still leaves adoption if one wanted to parent, well sure, but then one might not think they would make a good parent either). But donating, how absurd, no.

iris lilies
2-14-22, 1:47pm
I don't get it, one of the reasons for not reproducing is not wanting to continue one's genetic material (that still leaves adoption if one wanted to parent, well sure, but then one might not think they would make a good parent either). But donating, how absurd, no.

There are plenty of people who are parents and who also participate in scientific baby production for other people. It isnt an either/or situation.

iris lilies
2-14-22, 2:13pm
As for medical directives, do not underestimate the power your spouse (generic spouse) has in reversing your wishes.

if I say pull the plug in my medical directive in specifically defined situations, and then I become unconscious where the plug needs to be pulled, and my spouse says do not pull the plug! —conflict ensues. Depending on the health care providers involved, their knowledge of my stated wish, their concern for my spouse, the overall situation—it is not clear cut.

That’s why I had my brother be my medical POA for a while because in the early days of our marriage I wasn’t confident DH would pull the plug as I want. I KNOW my brother will! But DH has since proven reliable in that regard.

lmerullo
2-14-22, 4:36pm
So sorry, TMS.

Yes, the power of the spouse! My mom authorized treatment and care that my dad would have declined. She also did not allow the organs to be donated. Both things my dad clearly would have disagreed with. Also, the medical power of attorney was me and not my mom - but they didn't consult me! (She didn't feel she was disobeying, she actually felt this was the best decision)

iris lilies
2-14-22, 6:10pm
So sorry, TMS.

Yes, the power of the spouse! My mom authorized treatment and care that my dad would have declined. She also did not allow the organs to be donated. Both things my dad clearly would have disagreed with. Also, the medical power of attorney was me and not my mom - but they didn't consult me! (She didn't feel she was disobeying, she actually felt this was the best decision)
I’m sorry to hear that.

When our loved one is lying unconscious in a bed, to some of us that is “suffering.” To others that is “resting peacefully.” It is the latter group who thinks that form of life should go on and on. Because patient might recover you know! Not bloody likely

because my brother is in healthcare, I know he understands end of life decisions and not prolonging it.

I’m grateful that when my dad died, my brother and I along with our mother were on the same page about not prolonging his life. As it was he laid unconscious for a week and we finally had to grab a physician to ask what is the prognosis here doc? I mean, we didn’t think it was good but no one would tell us hey this man is not going to recover. Had we not been a united front, I’m sure it would’ve dragged on for a longer period.

rosarugosa
2-15-22, 5:50am
Wow TMS, sorry you are dealing with additional loss. It's been a really rough stretch for you.

Teacher Terry
2-15-22, 2:34pm
When my dad was sick my mom and I followed his wishes even when the doctors wanted to do a operation that would have killed him and if it didnít leave him worse off. I think that they wanted to experiment on someone that was older, was 6ft tall and weighed 90lbs with severe Copd among other things to see how long it would take him to die. After we left they tried to get him to sign for the surgery even though he wasnít competent. He told them to go F themselves. His massive stroke left him with no filter:)).

beckyliz
2-16-22, 1:24pm
When my dad was sick my mom and I followed his wishes even when the doctors wanted to do a operation that would have killed him and if it didn’t leave him worse off. I think that they wanted to experiment on someone that was older, was 6ft tall and weighed 90lbs with severe Copd among other things to see how long it would take him to die. After we left they tried to get him to sign for the surgery even though he wasn’t competent. He told them to go F themselves. His massive stroke left him with no filter:)).


Good for your Dad, TT!

My best friend's husband died suddenly last summer. She agreed to organ donation and has received beautiful letters explaining how his organs were used. I know that meant a lot to her.

Teacher Terry
2-15-23, 8:52pm
I strongly believe in organ donation. However, I don’t have it on my driver’s license but my kids know to say yes.