Zoe Girl
1-6-11, 12:22pm
Hi all, I hope some folks recall my work issue from the old board. I don't want to rehash everything but I will try to make this stand alone for new people.
Yesterday was our first day back after the winter break (I do before and after school care). I work with my LT twice a day, in the early am and after school. She was okay but after spending the break working with another team for the days we provided care it was even more striking how she is not fully able to do her job. I had been thinking over the break exactly how I wanted to talk to her and one thing I focused on was not pushing those buttons that created so much drama in the beginning of the year, not because i did anything wrong but that I didn't want to waste time with that instead of our job and having her improve.
The talk went ok, I was able to bring up several things not as bluntly as I had hoped but still had them out on the table. One thing I was pretty happy about. She tends to treat me and others like we are there to help her a LOT more than we are willing to or what is appropriate. So i coached it in terms of stepping back and holding her responsible for things. I also used the introvert/extrovert difference to talk about it more safely. I know many would argue but I actually am an introvert, and there are some extrovert traits that drive me bonkers (I know cuz my mom was just here for the holidays). One is not looking or researching or trying but instead asking first. In my moms case it is because she is constantly talking and really does not expect you to find everything or answer every question, in my LT's case i think it is a lazy habit of wanting me to answer rather than look or be responsible for knowing. So in those terms i told her that I expected she had thoroughly tried to find the information before she asks me and i will push her back to search as needed. It is more obvious when she is asking people to get things for her which I will not do. I use the exact same terms I use with the kids, unless I sitting right next to something i won't get it unless you have something broken.
Whew this is kinda long, the last issue is that she pushed for communication at the beginning of the year and I suggested staff meetings 2 times a month. Well she has not been the most reliable about planning them or even showing up herself. So the last one no one came to. Today she was saying we needed to get my supervisor involved and I said no. First we need to handle it ourselves and really communicate about these meetings before we bring in other people. I kept on asking her "so what is your plan to ensure the next staff meeting is attended by everyone?" I am so glad I have teh experience from my ex husband because it took saying that 3-4 times before I got an answer that directly related to the question and I remained totally calm. At first she was saying she needed my support, that roughly translates to another 'do it for me' attitude. Nope, once she gets everyone at the staff meeting I will address them and honestly I am going to suggest that the reason they may not take is seriously is because the meetings have not been very reliable.
Well that is all, I am taking my assertive baby steps.
Anne/Zoe Girl
Yesterday was our first day back after the winter break (I do before and after school care). I work with my LT twice a day, in the early am and after school. She was okay but after spending the break working with another team for the days we provided care it was even more striking how she is not fully able to do her job. I had been thinking over the break exactly how I wanted to talk to her and one thing I focused on was not pushing those buttons that created so much drama in the beginning of the year, not because i did anything wrong but that I didn't want to waste time with that instead of our job and having her improve.
The talk went ok, I was able to bring up several things not as bluntly as I had hoped but still had them out on the table. One thing I was pretty happy about. She tends to treat me and others like we are there to help her a LOT more than we are willing to or what is appropriate. So i coached it in terms of stepping back and holding her responsible for things. I also used the introvert/extrovert difference to talk about it more safely. I know many would argue but I actually am an introvert, and there are some extrovert traits that drive me bonkers (I know cuz my mom was just here for the holidays). One is not looking or researching or trying but instead asking first. In my moms case it is because she is constantly talking and really does not expect you to find everything or answer every question, in my LT's case i think it is a lazy habit of wanting me to answer rather than look or be responsible for knowing. So in those terms i told her that I expected she had thoroughly tried to find the information before she asks me and i will push her back to search as needed. It is more obvious when she is asking people to get things for her which I will not do. I use the exact same terms I use with the kids, unless I sitting right next to something i won't get it unless you have something broken.
Whew this is kinda long, the last issue is that she pushed for communication at the beginning of the year and I suggested staff meetings 2 times a month. Well she has not been the most reliable about planning them or even showing up herself. So the last one no one came to. Today she was saying we needed to get my supervisor involved and I said no. First we need to handle it ourselves and really communicate about these meetings before we bring in other people. I kept on asking her "so what is your plan to ensure the next staff meeting is attended by everyone?" I am so glad I have teh experience from my ex husband because it took saying that 3-4 times before I got an answer that directly related to the question and I remained totally calm. At first she was saying she needed my support, that roughly translates to another 'do it for me' attitude. Nope, once she gets everyone at the staff meeting I will address them and honestly I am going to suggest that the reason they may not take is seriously is because the meetings have not been very reliable.
Well that is all, I am taking my assertive baby steps.
Anne/Zoe Girl