View Full Version : Ever thought about what makes a house a HOME? Your thoughts...
I was thinking about just this, this morning, while out watering, doing laundry, and having my morning coffee. I know there are many- many things that make a house a home, but what sets an average house apart from all the rest IYO (in your opinion) and turns it into a real home?
I ask, because I think simplicity and frugality play such an important role in adding a whole new (and other) element of character and individuality to a home as compared to it's non-simple, non-frugal counterpart, and in turn, helps define it and establish it as being a warm, loving, inviting, and cozy environment.
Here is a list of a few things I came up with that I believe helps transform a home into a HOME.
An outdoor clothesline.
An array of flowers and shrubs and plantings.
A vegetable garden.
Inside decorative features that incorporate natural outdoor elements. i.e. Dried flower arrangements, etc.
What would your list include?
To add, I overlooked mentioning the likes of homemade meals/oven-baked goodness (the smells of), and, the sights of homemade accouterments complimenting the interior decor, like pillows, crocheted dish cloths, and throws.
Miss Cellane
6-29-11, 9:44am
My dad was in the Army. We moved a lot. I've lived in Quonset huts, a commandeered German Field Marshall's mansion (with solarium and garden room with fountain), cinder block duplex ranches, elderly Victorian piles and modern new construction. I've lived in the middle of big cities and out in the country where a flock of turkeys on the road constitutes rush hour. And many, many military bases, in the US and abroad.
What makes a house a home for me is family. As a kid, I knew if Mom and Dad and all my brothers were there, I was home. Even today, as an adult who lives by herself, a new place becomes more like home once someone in the family has visited and I have cooked and cleaned for them.
After family comes mementos of family--the pictures, the pieces of family furniture I've been given. After that, my books, old comfortable companions. And then cooking--making the first batch of bread or chocolate chips cookies makes the kitchen more mine and less alien.
For me, it's how people inhabit the house. I personally prefer my home to be clean, well kept, and with many of the amenities you include. My best friend is pretty messy, and her house is most often in a rather wild disarray. However, she was the center of teen-dom when her kids were younger, and because she has a large home she often takes in travelers and friends from far away. So, her home is usually filled with interesting people having great conversations and making tea round the clock. Her house is a home of a very different sort than mine - but it is clearly a HOME.
We stay at each other's places when traveling, and I usually choose to pitch a tent in her capacious, rural back yard, and spend evenings in the house with her & whatever company she's hosting at the moment. When she stays with me, she sleeps in the cottage house we have in the garden (all 64 sf of it - room enough for a double bed!). My home in the city is quiet & calm; her home in the country is noisy and busy.
This is a great query; thanks!
goldensmom
6-29-11, 10:48am
To me a house is a home depending on the people who live in the house or how those who enter the house are welcomed and treated whether related or unrelated, known person or stranger. I can’t described it but I can feel it. It is not so much the physical surroundings as the hospitality and the attitude of the occupants.
HappyHiker
6-29-11, 11:24am
For me, my house feels the most home-y when friends come over for a meal--usually a potluck--and we're gathered in the kitchen having lively conversation and lots of laughter--and I've something on the stove bubbling away that smells good.
I think a house should reflect the interests and personality of the people who live there. I don't like rooms that are too plain, or that look like all the decorations were bought at the same time at the same store to match the drapes.
I recently redecorated my son's room, because he wanted it to look like a cool teenager's room rather than a little kid's room. I changed it drastically, based on what he said he liked, but he hasn't made it his "home" yet. It's perfectly neat like a display from a magazine and he doesn't want to put things on the bookcase or build Lego models on the table because it would "mess it up." But I really wish he would claim it as his own room by messing it up a little with his own stuff.
Sad Eyed Lady
6-29-11, 5:43pm
because she has a large home she often takes in travelers and friends from far away. So, her home is usually filled with interesting people having great conversations and making tea round the clock. Her house is a home of a very different sort than mine - but it is clearly a HOME.
I LOVE places like this! Unfortunately my home isn't blessed with interesting people making tea (or coffee or having a glass of wine) and having great conversations round the clock. :(
To me a house is a home depending on the people who live in the house or how those who enter the house are welcomed and treated whether related or unrelated, known person or stranger. I can’t described it but I can feel it. It is not so much the physical surroundings as the hospitality and the attitude of the occupants.
This is what it means to me too.
goldensmom summed it up for me.
Part of it is also looking lived-in, though. I don't feel at home in houses that look like museum displays. I like comfy tidiness.
Having books around, a comfy chair, and a favorite blanket.
goldensmom summed it up for me.
Part of it is also looking lived-in, though. I don't feel at home in houses that look like museum displays. I like comfy tidiness.
I totally agree with this. Comfortably neat not anally clean is what makes a home for me.
I tell you, the most civilizing thing that we did to one of our spare houses in the ghetto was to plant a veggie garden. There is nothing that says "someone is home" better than a well tended garden. Even though we redid the roof, siding, all new windows, and rebuilt the porch, it was that garden that staked our claim there. Any yahoo developer can fix up the outside of a house, but they never plant gardens.
So I agree, Mrs. M, the garden is a fine indicator of home.
--home-cooked food
--cats
--squirrels and/or birds to feed
--flowers
--a lit candle
--a place to eat together
--photograph or two
Until you guys answered this thread I was struggling for words. I knew (inside) what I wanted to say but couldn't relay it like so many of you did. There have been times I've visited homes where everything seemed so choreographed. It's as if all the furnishings were arranged the exact same way they were displayed in the showroom at the time of purchase, and the kitchens seemed like they were never used. No yummy food smells, no baking smells, no nothing. Almost as if no one lived there...
Then to add to the coldness of the homes, there were no clotheslines, no gardens, not even a warm variety of colourful plantings to add cheer. Of course the homes were clean and that always makes me feel comfortable, however the absence of simple and frugal appointments made me think to myself, "nice home(s), but I wouldn't want to live this way".
Another attribute IMO that helps define and distinguish a Home from a home, is the collections and marriage of a variety of different kinds of furniture blended together (over the span of a lifetime) to form a sort of tapestry. When done right it affords both a functionally working and decorative environment, and it's seldom (if ever) overbearing or clinical.
Mrs. M, I used to clean houses. It was my taking a break from social work occupation, and cleaned many houses that were picture-perfect. They were so strange! One in particular belonged to a model... the kitchen looked as if the only thing consumed there was water. I still dutifully wiped down the countertops, etc. Her closet was full of furs, her living room had the latest designer furniture - and the house felt like a mausoleum. It depressed the hell out of me.
I think a Home is a home that contains things that are loved by the people in it, whether pets, antiques, artwork, knick knacks, etc. I sometimes watch HGTV and when they decorate a home for someone, it will look nice, but lack the flavor of the person it belongs to. It doesn't have to be picture perfect, but welcoming and comfortable; someplace you'd like to drop in for a chat. For myself, I like small, warm and cozy, with something of interest to look at everywhere.
A friend of mine owns a townhouse that's a bit too large for her. It has a living room with furniture that looks as if it belonged to her late mother---very old fashioned formal stuff. It's also a north-facing room, so it's usually dark, and usually a bit too cool. This room doesn't feel like her at all and it's not a comfortable place to be.
I love prints and artwork and am a bit sad to see so many stores selling what I call 'decorator art', which is just vague designs in a particular color scheme, or the badly painted Tuscany scenes. To me they don't reflect a person's personality at all. There are so many beautiful paintings, prints and photographs out there that are so much more interesting.
ps: I do like those black and white photos of 'bare trees in fog', or 'crooked wooden fence in misty meadow'. So soothing and if I ever become a minimalist with few possessions, I'd probably choose artwork similar to that.
One well-chosen piece of artwork in a room is better than a bunch of junky stuff. I have a lovely art exhibition poster that I had professionally framed. The framing cost a pretty penny, even though it was done at cost by a friend, but it makes the LR. My LR has three large double hung windows and the way the room is shaped, my couch goes under the windows. So I couldn't hang the poster over the couch as I've done elsewhere. I ended up hanging it on the far wall, opposite the door and my comfy chair. You see it when you walk in and I can sit in my chair and stare at it.
Haven't really thought about this before, but I'd say having a good place to curl up with a book is a key factor for me.
A comfy couch and chair with colorful afghans to snuggle under while enjoying a hot cuppa tea. A pup lounging in front of the fireplace and a kitty asleep on the chair. A pretty painting or two adorning the walls. Lovely smells emanating from the kitchen. A feeling of security and family love in a small warm cozy home.
I love small cottage homes and I decorate my own home in this style. It is cozy, welcoming, clean but not anal, and eclectic. And like others here have already said - my clothesline, flower gardens and veggie garden all say home too. :)
Miss Cellane
7-1-11, 9:18am
Haven't really thought about this before, but I'd say having a good place to curl up with a book is a key factor for me.
Yes, this. Once I figured out that basically I wanted my entire home to be one cozy reading nook, decorating it became really easy.
Redfox. Indeed, there really is nothing that speaks "welcome" like a well lived in home that possesses cleanliness, order, and distinction as far as comfort and homeyness goes. Clinical/institutional/museum like settings don't do a thing for me.
Pony mom. I'm glad you mentioned knick-knacks. Me and knick-knacks don't get along so well, but I never fail to get lost in homes where others display their prized knick-knack collections. Just knowing that collections of sorts take years, decades, and even lifetimes to acquire and amass, somehow that in itself embraces home so well. There's a warmth that comes about as a result of such expressions.
Tradd. Oh I so agree. In fact I've always fancied rooms where one really large piece or work graces the space helping to anchor and pull everything together. Abstract works are my favourite!
Madsen. My mind is awash with thoughts and daydreams right over the thought of specially laid out spaces designed especially for reading and relaxing. My dream room (or space) pertaining to this would include large expansive floor to ceiling bookcases, a grand fireplace, and possibly several fine handwoven area rugs. The warmer- the better.
Wildflower. Small cottage living is no doubt my favoured choice in a home. Furnished sparsely but with attention to detail, a covered wooden deck or porch or veranda with a seating area for evening tea and morning coffee in the company of a sunrise, and lost and lots of windows! The older I get (I find), the more drawn to windows I am. Big, large, wide, floor to ceiling windows! That, and walls of windows on two or even three sides! Gosh, it's so darn easy to let ones mind wander and roam over the thought of- "what if"... What if I were so lucky as to one day own such a cottage.
Miss Cellane. Please be so kind as to share with me a fragment of time related to the period you spent in the mansion. I can't help but think about large arched doorways, heavy doors adorned with ornate hardware, high ceilings, and grand old fixtures casting an elegant glow.
I'm not sure I can put a finger on it..... but last night, while cleaning out the stream out back (yardwork, one of the joys of home ownership), a thousand lightning bugs were dancing around me while a chorus of frogs joined in the background.
at that point I said "yep, this is my home"
treehugger
7-1-11, 12:59pm
I'd never really thought about this before, and I can honestly say I don't think I've ever been in someone's house before and thought, "Wow, this doesn't seem like a home at all." Now, I don't mean that I never have opinions about whether a house is neat or messy or nicely decorated or cluttered or full of personality or boring. But I think I take whether or not a house is a home pretty much at face value. I guess if someone lives there, it feels like a home to me. :)
But then someone posted about what they needed to do in a new house to make it feel like home to them. And I instantly knew what I would answer to that question: I always have to unpack and setup my kitchen first whenever I move into a new place. And then, no matter how many unpacked boxes there are in other rooms, even the bedroom, I feel at home. I am apparently quite food-minded (see the "Where's your center" thread).
And that makes me think about my side job as a catering server. Most of the gigs are in people's homes, and it's fascinating to see all different kinds (of course, most clients are on the wealthier side, as this is a high-end catering company) of homes and the way people live. We work right in and cook (well, the chefs do the cooking) out of people's kitchens, and wow, I have seen some beautiful kitchens. It always strikes me as so odd when I can tell that the kitchen isn't really ever used to make food (from things the clients say, from the contents of the fridge, or the fact that they have no "tupperware" containers for packaging up leftovers, lots of little signs). I truly can't imagine not cooking, no matter how much money I had.
Kara
Benhyr. You've captured the true essence of home. I love it when I go out late in the evening to take down a wash-line of laundry and the sound of crickets is filling the night air. That in itself never fails to remind me, I'm here!
Treehugger. The kitchen in our house is the heart of our home. We share, laugh, enjoy, and often entertain in the kitchen of our house, so knowing that there are homes out there that exist where no such gatherings are ever celebrated makes me appreciate the time we all spend in the kitchen that much more!
I think neighbors count high on the list. While certainly not the only variable, I have never felt like I was home when I was living in places - generally large cities - where I didn't know any of my neighbors beyond the occasional hello on the way in or out. I spent twelve years in Southern California without feeling like I was home.
Hi Kfander, and welcome to our family! I totally relate to having good neighbours and how that changes the fundamentals of home. We have Italian neighbours we have been good friends with for the better part of 20 years now, and what a blessing they are. Often, if we are outside having tea in the evening, or I'm gardening, or hanging washing on the line, we'll call out to one another and exchange a daily greeting with each other. There's a warmness I get from that and I appreciate the comfort it provides me with.
Sad Eyed Lady
7-2-11, 10:29am
I love passing by houses, usually in winter time when it is dark earlier, and see a lamp glowing in the window. For some reason this seems "homey" to me. When I read "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck of all the things that happened in that book the one that I remember most is this: there was a character who was a servant and had saved his wages through the years to go out and start a business of his own (I believe it was). When this didn't work out he came back to the place were he had worked and lived and was taken back. He then spent the rest of his money on a comfortable chair, a nice rug, and a table with a lamp. A reading area I guess. I have wanted to recreate what that scene pictures to me. Like miss cellane who says her whole house is one big reading nook. I like that idea too!
Interior lights/lighting are my weakness too Shalom. I love a home with outdoor accent lighting, homes where (when you drive/walk/pass-by) you can see a lit lamp (or two) through a large open window, or glimpse a chandelier casting it's glow. One home feature I adore is a hall table, such as a small desk furnished with a telephone and lamp on it, along with a comfy chair to sit down to. With the home all dark, and what lights may be on, turned down and dimmed, that little old table with it's glowing lamp and welcome chair truly makes a home a home.
Miss Cellane
7-2-11, 6:36pm
Miss Cellane. Please be so kind as to share with me a fragment of time related to the period you spent in the mansion. I can't help but think about large arched doorways, heavy doors adorned with ornate hardware, high ceilings, and grand old fixtures casting an elegant glow.
Mrs. M, this was when we were living in Germany. My parents chose to live off base and the quarters we were given were basically a mansion, formerly occupied by a German Field Marshall. I was quite young, but I remember some bits and have seen pictures of the house.
It came with a "house man," an employee who kept the grounds and tended the plants in the conservatory. He also looked after the chickens my parents bought and kept in the back yard.
Have you ever seen the movie, "The Sound of Music"? You know the entrance hall of the house, with the two staircases sweeping up to the second floor and forming a sort of balcony? The house had a very similar front hall. The year I was three, we had a 16 foot tall Christmas tree and it was set up in the middle of the front hall. We had a bunch of styrofoam "snowballs" that were part of the tree's decorations. The snowballs were placed carefully on the lower branches, but to get them on the upper branches, my older brothers went up to the balcony and tossed the snowballs into the tree. The ones that bounced off? I was sent on several trips to retrieve them, so my brothers wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs. But they didn't let me throw any of them, which I thought was really unfair.
I remember the conservatory best, with its damp smell of growing things, and the fountain in the center. And it was so warm in the winter. There were tall palm trees, and lots of flowers and ferns. My brother managed to stop up the fountain at one point and poor Franz, the house man, got very upset as he tried to fix it.
The public rooms of the house had marble or parquet floors, and there were a lot of chandeliers. The ceilings on the first floor were high; the second floor, not so much. And the attic, which I think was originally servants' quarters, was a lot of small, cramped rooms. But there were only two regular bedrooms, which was odd, so my brothers and I all shared one room. The main bathroom on the second floor was huge, with an enormous claw foot tub, and a marble sink with gold-colored faucets.
It's weird, really. There were times when we lived overseas and had a maid and a house man. There were times when we crammed a family of nine people into a three bedroom ranch house. We had quarters on one Army base with a sun room, a music room, five fireplaces, four bathrooms, seven bedrooms, french doors, maid's quarters and a tunnel leading from the basement to the old carriage house which had been converted to a garage.
And then there was the cinderblock house in South Korea, with government furniture (because it was cheaper to furnish all the quarters than to ship everyone's things to and from Korea). Vinyl tile floors, tiny bathrooms, a very small kitchen, and rat poison containers outside that someone came around and refilled every month.
Let's just say that I'm pretty adaptable about where I live and what it looks like.
Thanks so much Miss Cellane! Even better than I expected!!! It's almost like something straight out of a children's book. How lucky you are to have lived in so many different places and experienced what you did. As I read through your post I was taken away to that long lost time. I can hear the laughter and cheers as each snowball finds it's mark atop that big ol' tree, and the energetic buzz of you and your siblings excitedly stirring about the entry hall, up and down the stairs, again and again, Christmas is in the air!
I can only imagine that everything related to the mansion seemed extraordinarily big to you! If I'm not mistaken, that is the way when one is younger. I remember being all of about 5 or 6 at the time. We were at the neighbours visiting at which time a severe rain/thunder/wind storm hit. There was this old tree bordering our yard and the neighbours yard, and a limb (large limb) had broken from the tree and fallen to the ground. Everything was blowing and the rain pounding, and it seemed to take mom and I forever to reach our house from the neighbours. Running frantically to stay as dry as possible, holding one hand over our heads to seal out the rain, while locking our free hands together as one to ensure our safety.
Our house looking so small in the distance, but whenever I drive by just to remember, it's as if it isn't the same place I remember. The magic of childhood.
I'm thinking about the conservatory right now. What a dream that would be to have a large enough home to house such a space, and to be able to sit and enjoy the rooms solitude.
Laughter and something good in the oven. Cat or dog hair that no one minds. Chalk art on the sidewalk. A comfy chair with a stack of books beside it.
Laughter and something good in the oven. Cat or dog hair that no one minds. Chalk art on the sidewalk. A comfy chair with a stack of books beside it.I like it Florence! The wonderful world of home... In you mentioning chalk art, I couldn't help but remember my own childhood and how we used to mark out boxes on the sidewalk using chalk so we could play hopscotch!
Things collected during travels, comfy furniture, clean with not too many breakable things (i am clumsy!), a couple of cats who love the cuddle and greet people walking through the door, smells of good food, spices, incense.....a garden, good smelling laundry, people who are happy to be living together :)
Hi Citrine. Your blend of additions just helped sweeten the pot that much more! :) Thank you for those.
One thing I'm finding (the older I get) is I cherish anchoring a room with one significant item(s) rather than a multitude of things. Keeping things sparse but rich, non-cluttered but full (full as in historically speaking and of importance), and interesting but not overbearing, seems to better accentuate and express the true meaning behind what home is.
Home is the creation of an array of influences and subtleties that help to differentiate an environment lived in and loved in.
I think that having lots of beautiful handmade items around speak of the people that live in a home. A few good books and maybe a coffee cup, a warm afghan or quilt. I love the look of an open kitchen (open shelving) with old hutches and standing chopping blocks with cakes or cookies on them. Or homemade bread.............yum. A few really healthy houseplants. I don't like the look of matched items, but I do like to stay within a sameish (is that a word?) era and wood tones with maybe a few painted ones here and there.
I do like to come home to a tidy house, so there needs to be order for me to relax. (clutter makes me really crazy!)
Sissy. I really, really, really love your word "sameish"! :) Even it it isn't an actual word per se (according to Webster's or Grammar/English gurus/nerds), I'm officially adopting it anyways!
As for your post, I am now daydreaming about all the things you mentioned. Great additions! And yes, old world/European kitchens with open shelving and one or two oversized hutches/armoire styled pantries, a true weakness of mine!
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