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fidgiegirl
7-6-11, 4:29pm
We have been in limbo on a few important life things here for a last few months. I have written in other things about our potential house purchase, which seems neverending. Also I interviewed for a new job and am supposed to hear something today or tomorrow, but haven't heard yet. For a while it all felt fresh and exciting, but it's crossed the line into anxiety-provoking. I just want to know what's going to happen, even if it's not what I want to happen, just to be done. We made the offer on the house in the last days of April. I applied for the job in mid-May and it's STILL posted on the school district website (which helps to grow the seeds of uncertainty - "what if they didn't like any of the candidates and are still looking for more?!"). Bah.

Do you have this experience? Or do you thrive on the uncertain? I'm feeling like a bit of a wimp about the whole thing.

frugal-one
7-6-11, 4:42pm
My gosh... you surely are not a wimp! As you stated, these are important things in your life. Who wouldn't be anxious or nervous??? I am the same way. It is hard to be patient when there is a lot on the line. Best wishes!

Kestra
7-6-11, 5:51pm
I only like the uncertain up to a point. After a while the anxiety level does get too high. Just went through this myself. DH and I both went back to school last fall. To continue with my course I had to get a summer job (co-op). I started applying for jobs in January and by May still didn't have one, even with several interviews and great marks. It was getting really stressful. I could have possibly extended things another year - skipped a year of school, but no guarantee of getting a job the next time. So about a month ago I decided enough was enough. My part time job paid well and was willing to take me back for whatever hours I wanted. I withdrew from the course. I was, and still am, quite disappointed as I thought this would be a good career path and had put a lot of money, time and energy into going back to school. But on the other hand, making that decision final was a huge relief. At least now I know what I'm doing.

Then there's DH - my job stresses of course worried him, and he was worried about the lack of jobs for his course. Though it wasn't mandatory that he get a job in order to continue. Luckily he got a job on his first interview. But things are still up in the air because we don't know for sure that he will get a permanent job in this city. Might still have to move next summer. So I'm hording cash just in case. Once he has a permanent job hopefully we can relax a little. It's hard living in limbo as we've been doing for too long.

Rosemary
7-6-11, 8:18pm
Hang in there! Big decisions make me anxious, too - and then when they're decided I worry some more about whether I made the right decision.
Exercise and meditation help me... and talking to sympathetic friends!

Mighty Frugal
7-6-11, 8:55pm
My dh and I feel like we've been living in limbo for the past 3 years. It's not a nice feeling!! We both work for the same company and it was bought out 3 years ago. Since then, every 3 months they fire a bunch of people (sometimes it just seems so random...as if a spree killer enters and just begins shooting)

So we are very wary about making any life decisions or major purchases. We'd love a bigger home with a driveway but are too afraid to take on a big mortgage (what if we take the bullet next time?) Because we've both been with the company so long we will never make this much money again.

So, like Kestra, we're hoarding money for the eventual layoff...which may happen soon or maybe later...who knows!

ApatheticNoMore
7-6-11, 9:07pm
You could call about the job and force a resolution. That's what I had to do about a job once that they were dilly dallying on (they ended up hiring me). Now this was a small private company and not a school district, so definitely a different world, but .... I just wanted them to fish or cut bait already.

This is where I am: I was pretty uncertain on what I'd do if I became unemployed. Honestly, I was in emotional overwhelm for two months and mostly rested. Sure I considered things like going to school full time. That was what I daydreamed I'd do if I lost my job, UNTIL I actually did lose my job and did some research and moved toward the goal of going to school and I realized what the situation actually was with colleges these days in CA (not even accepting lots of majors, trouble getting classes) ... oh and getting worse, more budget cuts quite probable etc.. I'm not someone to pretend the school system is going to care about me, if I wind up in trouble because all the classes they cut. I mean: HA!

I also realized I wasn't 100% certain of my goal, I may have ideas but I'm going to end up up @#$* creek without a paddle, *IF* 1) my ideas don't pan out or 2) I can't get classes in any reasonable time due to budget cuts. Never mind some unholy combination of the two. If I thought I could get classes when I wanted them (dubious like I said), AND I thought I could get a job afterwards I would definitely roll the dice on a whole new career, there is no doubt about it because I am so sick of my previous field

But instead, I resigned to looking for work in my previous field. Even that isn't easy. Well of course there is massive unemployment here (very high unemployment rate here in southern CA). And part of the problem is what I look best for *on paper* (my last job), isn't really what I am good at in reality (my prior jobs). What a mess. My fault in some ways for having ended up here since I went down what was for me a dead end career path for awhile, yes well .... Good thing I do have lots of money. Egads. Sure I have felt overwhelmed in fear at times (as I said I spent nearly 2 months in this state). And kept going in courage! :)

Oh and sometimes I've temporarily stopped going and just been lazy - hey maybe I'll never work again but at least I'm enjoying the laziness (I guess that's what having lots of money gets you too). :~)

ApatheticNoMore
7-6-11, 9:31pm
Mighty Frugal: I know I'm not exactly the poster child for thinking ahead (see above), but maybe you should both be looking for other jobs, like now ... Or at any rate at least one of you should be looking for another job, while one keeps the high salary (simple risk management and diversification here) :)

iris lily
7-6-11, 10:02pm
You could call about the job and force a resolution. ..

ummm. ok. As a hiring manager your call would "force" me to eliminate you.

There is an open position at my work that I am hiring for. It's been open since May 18. There are reasons why I'm not filling it and one of those reasons is not a public reason. If a candidate calls me, I'm happy to tell them the other reasons why I'm not filling it--yet.

But honestly, since 7/8 of the applicants don't even qualify, why should I spend my time to notify them? It annoys me that I ask for specific experience and get resumes from those who do not have it.

I did call the one, single, outstanding applicant to make sure she knew
1) I saw her application and
2)want to talk to her further down the road. At that time she may, or may not, be available, but that's my problem, not hers.

ApatheticNoMore
7-6-11, 10:16pm
The people I had called to force a resolution: 1) had already given me a telephone interview that included a job relevant quiz 2) after the telephone interview had already interviewed me in person with two people which seemed to go well 3) I still hadn't heard from them long past the point they said they would contact me. So I called them and asked if they had made a decision and they hired me right on that phone call.

I'm pretty sure in retrospect if I hadn't called them to do something I might never have gotten the job. I forced them to chose perfectly qualified and good enough (which I was for that job then) because we need an employee, rather than pining forever for some perfect candidate of their dreams.

So it's not some random resume into the blue thing.

Now I do apply to jobs where I don't meet ALL the qualifications (but where I think I have something to recommend me, it's not random). I know it's a bit of a long shot, but there are very few jobs I do meet all the qualifications for and I don't even know any possible way to change that at this point (pursue a brand new field - blah I like I said - very hard to do when you can't get college classes) and besides then I'd just be some newbie to a field that noone wants to hire because they don't have years of experience. That's why I said ever finding work again may be a long shot (well ever is an exaggeration). Oh well. So I end up having to go back to school and it takes me 10 years to get a degree in something because I wait quarter after quarter to get classes, I guess I move into my parents unsanitary dangerous house in the meantime if it comes to that. I hope not but ..... I took a wrong turn (in terms of career path) and don't know any real way to correct it entirely so that it was as if I had never done so, so the best I can do is try with what I do have.

But I don't call up people and wonder where resumes have gone, because you have to figure most resumes will end up in the circular file, I only called after having actually had an interview.

[ETA: really I'm getting a little hysterically pessimistic in this post, (get a hold of yourself Apathetic!). The probability I will have to move in with my parents is probably quite low. Just sometimes gets hard to keep hope]

fidgiegirl
7-6-11, 10:32pm
Thanks, guys. I really hope the job thing will resolve tomorrow. I have no reason to believe they won't call me as promised, because actually they said they were going to call me last week and DID call me to tell me that they couldn't have a decision until now. So in my mind that was extremely courteous and promising, too. If I weren't even on their hiring radar, they wouldn't have taken the time.

Kestra, Mighty, Apathetic - hope it all works out for each of you. Thanks for sharing your stories. I know you weren't putting them out there as an "I have it worse than you" story, but it helps me to see that, hey, know what, my situation might be better than someone else's or worse than someone's, but I'll make it through. So thanks for sharing, and thinking of all of you.

Polliwog
7-7-11, 2:57am
I don't know if this helps, but when I have been in a situation with a lot of anxiety attached to it, I usually go to the "worse case" scenario thinking, e.g., the worse that can happen is that I won't get the job, then what? I'm not going to die from it, so I'll move on. It just helps me to stay grounded with "what is."

Kestra
7-7-11, 8:39am
I don't know if this helps, but when I have been in a situation with a lot of anxiety attached to it, I usually go to the "worse case" scenario thinking, e.g., the worse that can happen is that I won't get the job, then what? I'm not going to die from it, so I'll move on. It just helps me to stay grounded with "what is."

Absolutely. I do this all the time. My story was more about anxiety in the past, how what you want isn't always what happens, and now things are looking up. Never was the worst case scenario that bad. And I am so very grateful for that.

fidgiegirl
7-7-11, 1:05pm
I don't know if this helps, but when I have been in a situation with a lot of anxiety attached to it, I usually go to the "worse case" scenario thinking, e.g., the worse that can happen is that I won't get the job, then what? I'm not going to die from it, so I'll move on. It just helps me to stay grounded with "what is."

Absolutely. That is a really helpful way to frame it. If we don't get the house, we'll stay in this one. If I don't get the job, I'll continue in the one I'm in.