New year, new forum platform, new goals - what're yours? [Archive]

herbgeek

12-31-10, 3:48pm

I really don't do goals per se, but I pick a theme phrase and I have general areas to explore. This year the phrase is Deep Breath. The reason for this is several fold: its what you might say to someone who was rushing on to get them to relax. I tend to get over excited. Another reason is a reminder to myself that I can change the direction of a conversation at any time, and a deep breath will help me to do this. When other people put forward the agenda, I tend to go with it whether its where I want to go or not. I can stop things or refuse to participate if they aren't going in a good way.

Besides finding employment, I want to explore energy this year. I want to become more aware of my own energy, and be better about reading the energy of other people and situations, so that I select an appropriate course of action or words. I've also been on a very slow weightloss program by changing really small things rather than dieting. For example, I have smaller plates and have been eating smaller portions. I want to visit Yellowstone National Park this year. I will try small experiments to expand my gardening season here in New England. This past year I had something to harvest from March thru the beginning of December but there wasn't much at these far ends.

Yppej

12-31-10, 4:50pm

I want to loosen up and enjoy life more. I'm going to start this month by taking my birthday off work for the first time ever and going somewhere. I'm hoping to launch my kid into adulthood - driver's ed also starts this month and hopefully college in the fall. I've got a lot of smaller goals that are more like a to do list which I won't bore everyone with.

sugarbowlbaby

12-31-10, 4:53pm

This is a tough one for me because I don't want to set myself up to fail. But these are a few of the things I'd like to strive for.

I DO want to lose some excess weight. I've been carrying around about 35 lbs of baby fat (my son is 7). I think it's time!
I DO want to fast for 21 days in January. I may do nothing but water, fruits and vegetables or I could give something up, like meat or candy.
I DO want to finally clean out the garden area and plant something this year. We've been in this house for almost 6 yrs and have yet to till it over.
I DO want to make new friends here. I've been away for so long and can't wait to catch up!
I DO want to be even more mindful of my finances. I have somewhat fallen of the DR wagon. No time like 1/1/11 to begin anew!!
I DO want this year to be the best year ever.

Debby

DarkStar

12-31-10, 5:22pm

I plan to graduate from college (my second degree) in December 2011. This is my big goal.

DH (well, really not so dear) and I are separated, for reasons I won't bore everyone with. Let's just say that it was lovely these last few weeks to come home to my own little apartment where no one yells at me for random stuff. My goal here is to finalize the divorce as soon as possible.

My overall goal is to pay more attention, moment by moment. I recently hurt someone dear to me by not doing this, and I haven't yet been able to make amends to this person. I don't want to repeat this.

And finally, I want to eliminate people who are crazy-makers from my life. Of course,this will never be entirely possible. The divorce will help, and eliminating contact with some people related to my soon-to-be-ex (I've already taken some steps in this direction.). The other side of this goal is to have more positive people in my life, and to be a positive, caring, helpful person to others. I've had so much unexpected kindness from people who know me so little since I've been separated. I'd like to pass this on.

razz

12-31-10, 5:44pm

I want to get back to playing on my keyboard which I let go for a couple of years due to life's busy issues. Actually, I sold my piano upon I had taken lessons and bought the keyboard and have not played it consistently for far too long so need to start from scratch again, I think.

I want to do more sewing and knitting for ourselves and others.

Get the garden cleaned up of invasive weeds again and have a full successful layout and harvest.

Bootsie

12-31-10, 5:53pm

I recently read a blog post by a woman whose goal in 2010 was to read 12 classics. I thought that was such a do-able and tangible goal that I'm borrowing the idea and tweeking it a bit for myself:

* Make 12 craft items this year, including holiday crafts with the kids.
* Make at least one drawing in my sketchbook per week.
* Write something every single day.
* Make an improvement in my finances, one goal per month (i.e. organize my files, open a CD, decrease a specific expense, etc.)
* Write one hand-written thank-you note per month.
* Visit one new place per month.

And finally, * Participate in Read the Bible in 90 Days challenge, starting January 3.

Who has good strategies for remembering the goals and keeping them in mind throughout the year? I'm jotting them on my monthly calendar. In the past, I've made goals and then promptly forgot about them. I want to keep these goals this year - I like them.

edited to correct an error in the Bible reading challenge - it's not 30 days, but 90. That's fast enough as it is!

shadowmoss

12-31-10, 6:01pm

libby

12-31-10, 6:20pm

-put as much in savings as I can each month
-continue to maintain my weight
-exercise with my a class at least three times a week
-walk more
-update my resume
-take some classes
-obtain some kind of part time job

Gregg

12-31-10, 6:27pm

1. Drop 10 pounds before a March trip to Mexico
2. Complete 4 projects (work related) that have been dragging on, and on... before March 1.
3. Tell my wife I love her much, much more often.
4. Continue to evolve as a wannabe chef.

Mrs-M

12-31-10, 6:50pm

-Enroll in an exercise program. i.e. Pilates, Zumba, Aerobics.

-Start sewing again MORE (like I used to).

-Refine and fine-tune my dietary intake beyond what it already is. (Less carbs, less sugars).

HKPassey

12-31-10, 7:22pm

I'm inspired by everyone's thoughts on this.

I was actually going to spend the holiday between-week setting goals... so much for that! LOL. Seriously:

Get out of my failing mortgage and settled in my new home (my son's garage)
Adapt gracefully to becoming a "boomerang parent"
Settle my debts and start over in a more intelligent way
Finish school (March!!)... again
Improve my photographic skills... it would be nice to actually know how to set my camera for a change!
Spend more time on my health and learn to relax more: play the piano (hopefully I can keep it when I downsize to a garage), paint more, restart my weights routine, get back to my martial art
Launch a blog and get serious about finding an alternative way to support myself despite my disabilities
Connect with people more online
Smuggle my collection of really nifty crab spiders from this house to my son's so I can keep taking their pictures. ;)

Crystal

12-31-10, 7:24pm

Anne Lee

12-31-10, 9:26pm

Finish my master's. Once I get that done, I'll be able to think about other goals.

Of course, being a little more frugal can't hurt.

boss mare

12-31-10, 11:01pm

I don't have to be everything for everybody
Keep the outside of my vehicles as clean as the insides are
Step away from the computer LOL
Realize that there *is* a new show horse out there for me that is as good as my old one
Clean as I go

RosieTR

12-31-10, 11:08pm

Goals that I'm likely to accomplish:
Climb a couple 13ers with friends this summer
Summit Humphrey's Peak in winter
Pay off the house we own in CO
Build back up the funds we will use for said payoff

Goals that I find scary to accomplish but hope to nonetheless:
Find a job in CO such that we could move back to said house (and all the other accompanying goals such as renting out the house in Phoenix, DH finding a job in CO, dealing with a move, etc)
Take a class and contemplate going back to school
Decide whether to do second half of prior goal in AZ or CO or what
Train for Ironman AZ???

Wildflower

1-1-11, 5:04am

Relax more, worry less
Eat healthier and exercise more
Work harder at saving money
This year I want to go through each room of my house and eliminate any and all things that I don't use or need anymore
Be kinder to everyone - we are all struggling with something....
Go to bed earlier, get up earlier
Spend less time on the computer and more time with those I love
Spend more time gardening - looking forward to a bigger, better veggie garden this summer :-)

Yppej

1-1-11, 7:38am

Bootsie, I post my goals on the closet door in my bedroom and check them off as I accomplish them.

Bootsie

1-1-11, 10:48am

Bootsie, I post my goals on the closet door in my bedroom and check them off as I accomplish them.
That's a good spot! Thanks for the idea.

Jill Sanders

1-1-11, 11:33am

Wow! This is a thought provoking thread!
I am still trying to form a new life for myself after dh was killed in a plane crash in 2007. Sometimes I am right on track and sometimes I seem to be wandering around in circles. So, I have made some improvements but not enough. Recently I built a new home and moved into town. After 33 years I felt I wanted more people around me to interact with. It's been a good move as already my sleeping has greatly improved. I also quit one of my jobs of 33 years. My dh and I had started a small carry out and food business in the 1970's. After his death, I sold it to my son but continued to work for him. After a stream of back problems, I decided to take the plunge and stop working there. It's scary but also exciting. I still own a couple of storage units so have some work but not too many hours involved in this. So, I now have the time to do all the things I ever wanted to do. But, first, I have to figure out what those things are:-) I just haven't had the time for years to even think about it! Last year I did write a book about the experiences of losing father, mother, and husband all at once and a section on how to recover from those losses. I have another book almost finished and this one I am going to publish in hard back. The rest of 2011 is going to be about figuring out what the next twenty years might bring and what I want to do with them!

jrb3

1-1-11, 11:47am

Superb timing with the forum switch!

My 2011 goals, draft so far:

rejoin the ranks of the employed
publish two free iOS apps
add $25k into the retirement accounts
earn two recognitions through Toastmasters
see all my daughters' concerts and performances
take a solid-two-week break away from home with my family

fidgiegirl

1-1-11, 12:06pm

Who has good strategies for remembering the goals and keeping them in mind throughout the year? I'm jotting them on my monthly calendar. In the past, I've made goals and then promptly forgot about them. I want to keep these goals this year - I like them.

Bootsie, I really like the site 43Things. You can have entries for your different goals, reflect upon them with others who have the same goals, mark them done, etc. You can also set reminders to your e-mail if you think you maybe won't remember to go back to the site. And you can "cheer" other people's goals and entries! It's fun.

fidgiegirl

1-1-11, 12:17pm

I have an ongoing list of goals at 43Things, but for this year, a focus on:

Making fitness a priority
Becoming more at ease with baking
Implementing Getting Things Done in my life

They are broad, but plenty of room for creativity in how to realize them. I started "early" about a week ago on making fitness a priority. Since then, I worked out every day except one consciously taken rest day. Already feeling a difference.

With GTD I need to make sure I have Sunday time to do the weekly check-in. I think that's where I'm coming up short with the system.

AustinKat

1-1-11, 12:34pm

Exercise a little more. (Since I do no exercising, anything will be an improvement.)
Try to socialize a little more. My new husband and I are both homebodies, but I would like to try to develop some community here and make some friends.
Be a little more focused in my computer/Internet use. I've been spending hours a day playing solitaire and dumb Facebook games. It's a waste of my year off.
Floss.

frugal-one

1-1-11, 1:08pm

-WILL retire the end of February 2011.
-plan on making more food from scratch.
-learn more about natural/holistic medicine.
-join the state park system and learn more about foraging.
-make a gallant effort to lose 20 pounds.
-find low cost or free entertainment.

Heidi

1-1-11, 1:20pm

I came across a spiritual book that I like a lot, called "Spiritual Revolution". It is a workbook of sorts: "52 powerful principles for your mind and soul". So I got me a journal and want to use the new year to tackle one principle every week.

early morning

1-1-11, 2:26pm

You all have some impressive goals! I have so many things I want to accomplish - but I know me *sigh*.
- exercise more. I don't exercise now, so, like AustinKat, anything will be helpful!
- set us a system of paper-handling and USE IT!
- sew more. I bought myself a new machine with some of my gift money, and I want to make more things. (like slippers. I need new slippers!)
- find a way to get at least two large home repair items done, from my long list of possibilities.

Gina

1-1-11, 3:06pm

Continue downsizing
Clean/reorganize/maintain what's left.
Be more attentive to the garden this year.
Strive to enjoy all that I'm doing.

rosarugosa

1-1-11, 3:37pm

HKPassey: I want to see pictures of crab spiders! I like spiders!

HKPassey

1-1-11, 7:08pm

HKPassey: I want to see pictures of crab spiders! I like spiders!

Hehe. I don't think my son knows yet I'm bringing "the girls" when I move in. ;)

I'll post a few in my album here (got distracted by breakfast and didn't finish this morning, doh!), will do more as I finish processing photos. I just got a macro lens, so I'm looking forward to playing with more intimate portraiture of the little beasties.

pinkytoe

1-1-11, 8:26pm

Ornkat here; now clocking in as pinkytoe...
I want to spend the next year challenging myself; staying in a comfortable place for too long is boring. Life is short.
I am seeking new employment; already had one great interview. I didn't get the job but the effort was well worth it. I could stay where I am at till I retire but I need a change.
I want to conitnue with my interest in wildlife studies and volunteer work and get more involved in that.
I want to continue to clean up my diet; I've been having green smoothies for a week now for breakfast and I'm hooked.
I want to spend less time on the internet and more time in the real world.

lhamo

1-1-11, 10:29pm

I really neeed SMART goals to keep it real, so I am going to try for some variations on the number 11:

1) Lose 11 lbs (5 kilos) -- I really need to lose at least twice that, but I can reset the goal if I am making good progress mid-year, and if not it will still be achievable and will encourage me not to give up!

2) Work out with a trainer at least 11 times this year. I need to get back to lifting weights, and my DH has had very good results with both weights and overall fitness training with the guy he has been working with, so I am going to set this as an initial goal. If it turns out to be worth the investment, I may keep it up longer.

3) Have a substantial workout of 30 minutes cardio +30 minutes weights at least 11 times a month. Once I get back into a routine, I actually usually manage to workout at least 5-6 times a week, but again keeping the goal realistic will help me get back on track even if I slow down during busy periods.

4) Learn to cook 11 new healthy dishes -- hopefully ones that my family will like and that can become part of our weekend meal repertoire.

5) Save an average of $1100/month outside of retirement and kids college savings. We were on track with this this year, but had a spendy trip back to the US -- bought lots of new stuff to replace old electronics and household items, as well as a lot of clothes. But now that those investments are made I expect we will spend less in those areas next year.

6) Grow at least 11 plants for the house, including at least some herbs and veggies. I want to start a container garden, but need to start slow.

7) Visit 11 restaurants we haven't been to yet in Beijing. There are lots of interesting dining options here, but we tend to get stuck in a rut and just go back to the same old places. Need to branch out a bit.

8) Read 11 books. This should be easy, especially now that I have a Kindle! I read quite a bit last year, but lack of access to good English language books locally has made it hard. I could probably make this "read 11 books a month" but that might interfere with goal #5...

9) Go out with DH on our own at least 11 times this year. We used to have a weekly "date night", but have let it slip since we moved to Beijing. Making this a goal will give me a kick in the pants to get a new evening babysitter to make it possible.

10) Go out with a friend at least 11 times this year. I have found it hard to make friends since we moved to Beijing, but part of that is laziness on my part about trying to get together with people I know and like to build a stronger relationship. I need to make a commitment to making more of an effort in this respect.

11) Visit 11 places I haven't been to before. This includes places in Beijing. As with eating out, we tend to get in a rut about the places we visit and don't try new things as much as we should. I would also like to make some trips to places in China and Asia that we haven't been to before.

OK -- that's 11 X 11. Should keep me busy!

lhamo

Crystal

1-1-11, 10:40pm

OK -- that's 11 X 11. Should keep me busy!

lhamo

Daunting. :treadmill:

Catwoman

1-2-11, 9:50am

-lose substantial amount of weight
-spend more time in prayer, study
-no alcohol year, for health and other reasons
-limit sedentary computer and t.v. time to (haven't decided a good amount of time yet)
-continue to declutter, declutter, declutter
-exercise 30 minutes or more each day

Here's to 2011!

SiouzQ.

1-2-11, 9:52am

My goals for 2011:

1 )Letting go of self-destructive behaviors and bad coping skills that worked in the past, but not anymore.

2) Get back to exercising ~ I've already started at the gym last week and found it to be a wonderful way to get out of my head and just focus on moving the body

3) Keep looking ahead to attempting a MAJOR life change while I'm still young enough to pull it off ~ I have been bored being back in my hometown for the last 18 years as a single mom. My daughter is doing much better; she's working and starting community college next week. I have no pets anymore and no health insurance at my retail job. The time seems right to think about doing something very different and out of character for me. The next five months will be spent working up the guts to create and plan a BIG change in circumstance.

* Off topic, but I am so glad so many of us moved over to the new site! Going to the site everyday really helps me keep on track and reminds me to keep striving in whatever it is I am attempting ~ progress, not perfection!

Life_is_Simple

1-2-11, 11:44am

I want to continue to clean up my diet; I've been having green smoothies for a week now for breakfast and I'm hooked.

What is in your green smoothies?

frugal-one

1-2-11, 12:07pm

Ihamo.... how did you arrive at 11? Interesting! Also, interested in your green smoothies!

pinkytoe

1-2-11, 2:20pm

What is in your green smoothies?
About 6 cups of loosely packed chopped greens, ie spinach, kale, parsley. A cup of diced cucumber and celery. A couple of pieces of fruit like pear or apple. A smidge of frozen berries. Enough liquid either carrot juice or water for right consistency. This makes about an 8 oz glass for both dh and I.

iris lily

1-2-11, 4:49pm

I've only set goals for the month of January:

1) distribute old family photos to appropriate relatives
2) clean and document my great-grandfather's blanket that the family lore says he took with him to fight the Civil War and send it off to the eldest child of my eldest cousin

3) get records straight for the dog rescue group for which I am secretary; schedule an annual meeting (will probalby he held at the bar at the next dog show, haha)

4) re-learn the differences of Excel on my computer vs profesisonal Excel and enter data for the plant society

I can only see one month ahead

iris lily

1-2-11, 5:15pm

oh I just read catwoman's list.

That reminds me:

Drink more red wine! (the only one I drink)

I just read Ilhamo's list that reminds me:

buy 11 bottles of red wine that I haven't sampled yet!

lhamo

1-2-11, 6:02pm

oh I just read catwoman's list.

That reminds me:

Drink more red wine! (the only one I drink)

I just read Ilhamo's list that reminds me:

buy 11 bottles of red wine that I haven't sampled yet!

Ooh -- wish I had thought of that one! I'll save it as a new goal for 2012, maybe...

Oh, and for whoever asked about how I came up with 11 -- it is 2011, so I thought 11 overall goals seemed good. And then I just made them multiples of 11. I figured for many of them, it works out to less than 1 thing I need to do per month in that area, so that seemed managable while still giving me something to strive for. I had tried things like "lose a lb a week" and "cook one new recipe a week" in the past, and found that kind of pace was too ambitious and once I got off track it was hard to pick up and get back on again. But for a few things I needed to be a bit more ambitious -- even I can managed 11 workouts a year without too much stress, so I made that a monthly target instead.

lhamo

razz

1-2-11, 8:00pm

I recently read a blog post by a woman whose goal in 2010 was to read 12 classics. I thought that was such a do-able and tangible goal that I'm borrowing the idea and tweeking it a bit for myself:

* Make 12 craft items this year, including holiday crafts with the kids.
* Make at least one drawing in my sketchbook per week.
* Write something every single day.
* Make an improvement in my finances, one goal per month (i.e. organize my files, open a CD, decrease a specific expense, etc.)
* Write one hand-written thank-you note per month.
* Visit one new place per month.

And finally, * Participate in Read the Bible in 90 Days challenge, starting January 3.
Who has good strategies for remembering the goals and keeping them in mind throughout the year? I'm jotting them on my monthly calendar. In the past, I've made goals and then promptly forgot about them. I want to keep these goals this year - I like them.

edited to correct an error in the Bible reading challenge - it's not 30 days, but 90. That's fast enough as it is!

Never heard about this challenge but have wanted to read the Bible the whole way through for some. I took an English Lit course that included so many references to the Bible as literature. So after checking out the goal of this challenge, this is something that I am going to try to do as well. Thanks for posting the idea.

bke

1-3-11, 9:06am

-keep improving my relationships with ds and dh. They're good now but there is always room for improvement. Ds is eleven. I think as he grows older it could be really easy for our relationship to deteriorate and for us to grow apart. I don't want one of those 18 yr olds that leave the nest never to have a decent relationship with me again. And as with all marriages, I figure I get back what I put into it so I want to give it my all.

-Sell the house and pay off as much on the restaurant as possible. Hopefully by the end of 2012 we will be debt free.

-Eat healthier and avoid illness. I have terrible eating habits and improving them is my biggest struggle in life. I was able to quit smoking 12 years ago but giving up sugar seems impossible-believe me I've tried. In my heart I'm a whole foods vegan but in reality I am a sugar-dairy-meat consuming vacuum.

-Use my frugal skills to provide for my family while spending as little as possible. If I keep the house well stocked with a variety of food items and make sure their preferred health and beauty products are available, my guys don't make too many impulse buys.

-Above all, try to enjoy each and every day because is might me my last.

Mrs. Hermit

1-3-11, 11:07am

Iris Lily, your goals for January sound like a year long list for me!:)

My goal for this year is to learn to set APPROPRIATE goals. Seriously. I want to learn to set realistic and attainable short and long(er) term goals that I can break down into workable steps that I can actually accomplish without killing myself (or those around me). I also want to learn to hold my goals loosely enough that if situations change, I am free to change the goal.

I hope to apply/try this in 3 area of my life: improving my health (ie: exercise goals, implementing successful pain management), improving my friendships (ie: meeting more people, staying in contact better with old friends), and improving my work output (being both self-employed and distractable is an interesting balancing act!:laff:)

ApatheticNoMore

1-3-11, 12:30pm

Well I'm certainly not going to make some goal I know I'll fail at. Like ok, lets face it: I'm not going to give up sweets entirely (having failed at this dozens of times). I'm not going to starve myself. I'm not going to go on some diet where I find myself unable to eat almost anything (so that even the health food store starts to feel like "food, food, everywhere and not a drop to eat").

I will do exercise for sure (I already do some exercise anyway), even then I don't kill myself with it. I may retake up musical hobbies. I'll learn new recipes for sure (maybe with a view to eating a few more vegetables). I'll take classes (well I'll take at least one, as I'm already enrolled!) I'll meet new people (this always happens anyway). I'll work on myself psychologically. I'll learn new things. Ok, enough already :)

Mighty Frugal

1-3-11, 4:11pm

Well..first two I stole from Wildflower:
Relax more, worry less
Eat healthier and exercise more

The rest are mine:)
Put enough $$ in our new house fund that we can buy a new bigger home by 2012 without having a mortgage.

Cure my white coat syndrome (going to hypnotherapist in February)rrrrr

Get a good hair cut-last hair stylist slaughtered my locks...she ruined my life

Sell at least one article this year

Let go of toxic friendships-or at least don't let them bug me so much!

Let GO!!!!

ApatheticNoMore

1-4-11, 4:12pm

One thing I prefer to goals much less resolutions (resolutions: oh I'm going to kill the most alive child part of myself that wants anything period just so I can stick to this commandment of my own I must follow!) is just simple yea awareness and questioning.

A question I like is "what did I do to grow today?". Why I kept eating handfuls of M&Ms .... oh wait that's not the type of growth I meant! :laff: But seriously sometimes I may just bring something small to the table as the answer to my question, oh just this little step. Sometimes I may answer "nothing!". Sometimes I may be too busy handling crisis or sinking into depression or etc. Sometimes I may answer "nothing!" for days at a time. Yes well, but with an awareness that if I choose to act like this then my life will just likely be the same forever (welcome to groundhog day) :treadmill:

I suppose one could do this for dieting (oh yuck I said a dirty word, let me go wash my mouth out with soap now :laff:). But then it would be something simple like "is the way I ate (and exercised) today most likely to lead to weight gain, weight maintenance or weight loss?". This does require a well developed knowledge of your body and how it responds to various behaviors. Maybe the answer is "yea eating this way is going to keep leading to continuing to weight gain". Maybe the answer is: "sigh, it's probably going to lead to weight maintenance and I don't even think I can do better". At any rate you have your awareness.

debi

1-5-11, 12:57pm

I would like to pay off the mortgage or at least add extra towards the principal each month ($38,000 left on it). Reside in a rural area so incomes are on the low side:(. But it is so much more less stressful than the city or burbs:D.

Would like to start getting up the greenhouse this year so that I have a longer growing season. Also to start planting more fruit trees, maybe even nut trees.

Would like to lose 30 lbs. - too hard to walk right now due to all of the snow and how dark it is so early on in the evening. Will try to use exercise equipment more that is in the basement. Lost 2 lbs so far. Step in the right direction.

Save up a set monthly sum from now until spring (probably May or June) to replace the single-pane windows in the house. I would like to do the entire house; but if not, at least the north and west facing windows to begin with for better energy savings.

Stella

1-5-11, 5:24pm

I like this!

I set an intention, usually a virtue I want to cultivate each year on my birthday in October. This year is Hospitality. That's a really fun one. I am enjoying it. The first part of the plan was to create a sense of sanctuary for myself and my family. The second part was to invite people into that sanctuary followed by extending the sense of "home" into the community and extending that sense of community into the world at large, treating people everywhere I go like I would my next-door neighbor.

So far so good. I've been working a lot on the creating sanctuary part and it is really working. There's a sense of calm in me and in my family at a level I haven't experienced before. There's a flow here that is really amazing. DH and I have decided that our key phrase for the year is "stable but flexible". We have our routines and traditions and as much as possible we are letting the routines be the boss (thanks for the wording fidgiegirl!) to keep conflict between family members at a minimum. The kids eat that up. It makes them feel more secure and gives them guidelines that help them feel successful and independent.

With that stability, though, comes a lot of flexibility. Because they are well behaved and secure, we can do more traveling, make exceptions to the rules on occasion without worrying about the consequences and generally say "yes" to them a lot more than we otherwise could.

Now we are starting on the "inviting people into our sanctuary" part. I want to have friends over more. I want the kids friends to feel comfortable here. Also, part of this is going to involve me actually accepting help. I know that my friends are willing to help me and I usually say no out of some misguided sense that I should be stronger than that. The problem with that attitude is that I am just not able to accomplish as much alone as we can accomplish together. From now on if someone asks me if they can bring something, the answer is yes. If someone volunteers to help me with one of my pet projects the answer is yes.

This summer will likely start the "expanding the sense of home into the community" part. I have so many cool ideas for community building I can barely contain them. I'm starting simple, though, with a weekly informal playtime with neighborhood parents at the playground and a neighborhood outdoor movie night in the summer.

Summer and the following winter will bring some travel. That's the first part of the "expanding the sense of community to the world" piece. We want to seek out at least one service project when we travel. One of my friends that we want to visit is a priest working on a reservation I spent time at when I was a teen. It's a very depressing place to be honest, but it's right on the way to see DH's uncle. We're planning to stop there as a midway point and my friend is going to find volunteer work we can do. Even if it's just cleaning up a park or stocking food at a food shelf. DH's dad, who we will visit this year, lives in an economically depressed area too. Some of his friends are elderly and poor. I want to see if we can do something to help them when we are visiting. Nothing formal, just helping Grandpa's friend paint a shed or fix something (DH is a handyman). Since our long-term goals include significant travel I want to start this pattern while the kids are young.