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View Full Version : Need job advice, feel paralyzed and hopeless



ButterflyBreath
11-27-11, 11:55am
I am not good at keeping jobs. Itís a combination of being passive aggressive, having a very bad memory, freezing up in situations where my judgment is needed. In the profession I am right now this is not good since I work as a nurse and Iím going to loose my job if I donít quit soon. Seriously. Not only that, but I love my client and I would never want to harm her (unintentionally).

Was a graphic designer before canít go back easilyÖno portfolio anymore and am not up with the software anymore. Would start own business but am new in town and getting clients would take more time than I have.

I have debt, my car payment being the most per month, so I canít go without a job for long. Need maybe $800 a month to cover essential bills. I am staying with a friend but need to move out, so add housing to the $800.

I donít take stress well at all. Lately have had much anxiety about anything that changes in my life. Need to get another job ASAP as am having serious problems at current job, however I have this past of inability to keep jobs and itís a self-fulfilling prophecy now. Itís hard to get any job right now, especially for someone whose resume makes evident job hopping.

Just want simple job that pays the bills and I can keep, and where co-workers are pleasant. Need to go to therapy and think I might have found one in Winston-Salem just as I had decided to move back home to TN, but if I stay here, need to get a decent paying job, get stable. So now am torn between Winston-Salem because of this good psychotherapist willing to work with me, and my home where I have a friend who would house me for a while. I know people there and would have more connections and job opportunities.

So my question is what type of job should I look for? I donít see myself lasting long at all at the typical consumeristic chain businesses. It would kill me to work at those. I would see too much that would make me passive aggressive. I could do physical labor of some sort like house cleaning, but I have no experience and these days employers can be picky since they get so many applicants. The only other thing that Iím qualified to do is draw blood as a phlebotomist, which I like but whoís going to hire me?! Theyíll see I job hop.
I feel paralyzed. I feel like Iím at a dead end. What will I do about healthcare? One thing Iím thankful for is that I am relatively healthy and I donít have children to support.
Thoughts?

ApatheticNoMore
11-27-11, 1:45pm
Was a graphic designer before can’t go back easily…no portfolio anymore and am not up with the software anymore.

Are you really sure you can't go back? How long has it been since you did it? Start taking classes in the software? As an introvert yea I take jobs where I can just be left alone to work (on the computer) when I get tired of the madness that is the rest of it :). I don't even really like it. But I know I can do it, at least until I get horrendously bored. And if you know you need money and can't do your current job what you can stand to do for awhile for money, is something.


Would start own business but am new in town and getting clients would take more time than I have.

In what? And if they are skills you could start a business in, why aren't they skills you could also get a job in?


I have debt, my car payment being the most per month, so I can’t go without a job for long.

Well you probably know the options here, trying to get a cheaper car etc..


It’s hard to get any job right now, especially for someone whose resume makes evident job hopping.

How bad is it? Switching jobs every couple of years is basically NORMAL nowdays IMO.


So my question is what type of job should I look for? I don’t see myself lasting long at all at the typical consumeristic chain businesses. It would kill me to work at those. I would see too much that would make me passive aggressive.

You mean working retail I guess. What about office work of some kind? Frankly, I don't think ANY job is that easy to get in this economy but gotta try for something. Of course jobs that build on your past skills and experience will be the easiest to get generally.


I could do physical labor of some sort like house cleaning, but I have no experience and these days employers can be picky since they get so many applicants.

No harm in applying.


The only other thing that I’m qualified to do is draw blood as a phlebotomist, which I like but who’s going to hire me?! They’ll see I job hop.

Again no harm in applying.

I guess you are looking for someone to tell you what else you could use your nursing skills for (not my field) or what jobs are easy to get now (in this economy, I'm skeptical, but maybe someone will have some ideas. The economy is probably not quite as bad there as it is here).

ButterflyBreath
11-27-11, 2:22pm
Thanks for your reply. Winston-Salem is a good bit smaller than Chattanooga where I grew up and call home. Less opportunities in general and I don't have any connections here. When I moved here to W-S it only took a month to get a job, but that was in nursing. I had applied to 50 or more other jobs and had not heard back from ANYONE. The home health company needed a nurse so bad for the case they were trying to fill that they pretty much hired me on the spot. Little did I know that I would be working with a VERY difficult family, and I've been able to do it for 5 months which is amazing knowing the issues I struggle with personally and knowing the family. However my issues with memory and judgment making are making it clear to me that I need to try caretaking instead of nursing if I stay in this field. In certain situations I blank out and my brain literally freezes up and I can't react. I do irrational things and not what is expected of a nurse. The money is the best I've ever made but it's not for me, which is sad but I guess God/higher power/universe has something more suitable for me. I just don't know what.

redfox
11-27-11, 3:19pm
Your cognitive symptoms seem worth checking out... Memory especially.

RosieTR
11-28-11, 9:56pm
I would think phlebotomists are in high demand and if you liked it would potentially be a good fit. What about other nursing-type jobs that are not single-family care situations? There's a wide variety; maybe if your interpersonal skills aren't up there, some nursing job that works with a different sort of population would be good (hospice, surgery, infants, maybe even children b/c they react differently than adults, special needs, sleep/overnight etc). Since I don't exactly know what your personal issues are or are likely to act in the situation, you would have to think about these different choices.

ljevtich
11-28-11, 10:42pm
I would try to stick with nursing as W-S is a major hot spot for research:

A 2006 cost of living survey done by the Mercer Group indicated that Winston Salem was the least expensive city in which to reside in the United States, and several headquarters of major companies are located or began in Winston Salem NC. Today, much of the economy of the area revolves around medical research, and Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center is one of the largest employers in the area. A downtown location in the city was recently designated the Piedmont Triad Research Park and is a premier biomedical and information systems technology research facility.

from http://www.tejrentals.com/area.htm

So I would suggest medical research if possible. You have a scientific mind or at least one where you are doing medical and graphics so maybe research would work well for you.

I would also suggest seeing if you can pare down the expenses as much as possible. You sound from your posts quite scared almost, so the most important thing to do is to calm down, and focus on the pros and cons of your situation here, vs Tennessee or someplace else. Then pros and cons of your job now and possible other jobs.

I would also suggest if you wanted to post a more specific resume in here - not the companies, but what you did (your title, how long, and whether or not you enjoyed the work.) I have had 24 jobs since 1988. So don't feel bad about that. It is an old myth that you work at the same job ever since college or high school, nobody does that any more.

lhamo
11-29-11, 4:00am
I tried to post a response yesterday and it disappeared into cyberspace. I think you should give yourself more credit. YOu were thrown into working with what everyone at your agency knows is a difficult family. As person lowest on the totem pole, they gave you the worst gig. I realize that if you have been making errors due to stress (and from the way you describe your situation it sounds like that is a huge issue), then it might be difficult to negotiate a change. but what about a change of agency, or a shift to a different type of caregiving -- geriatric care in a facility, for example. Or, if you are more of the administrative type, what about shifting to a more administrative role still within the healthcare system. I would not turn your back on healthcare until you have explored other possibilities -- it is one of the few growth sectors in the US economy. but maybe you need to do a different type of job within the healthcare industry. Another option would be trying to get a job as a nurse in a smaller practice -- less life and death responsibility there, I would imagine. Or are there agencies that provide temp nurses that you could work for, just to get a change of environment and get out of your current stressful situation?

I don't really know much about what the practical options might be, so these are just suggestions off the top of my head.

Also, it is my impression that there is a lot more mobility in the nursing profession than in others, so maybe you are making the changes a bigger issue than they would necessarily be to someone who does a lot of hiring. Agree it would be helpful to have an idea of how often you have changed jobs.

lhamo

lhamo
11-29-11, 4:01am
I tried to post a response yesterday and it disappeared into cyberspace. I think you should give yourself more credit. YOu were thrown into working with what everyone at your agency knows is a difficult family. As person lowest on the totem pole, they gave you the worst gig. I realize that if you have been making errors due to stress (and from the way you describe your situation it sounds like that is a huge issue), then it might be difficult to negotiate a change. but what about a change of agency, or a shift to a different type of caregiving -- geriatric care in a facility, for example. Or, if you are more of the administrative type, what about shifting to a more administrative role still within the healthcare system. I would not turn your back on healthcare until you have explored other possibilities -- it is one of the few growth sectors in the US economy. but maybe you need to do a different type of job within the healthcare industry. Another option would be trying to get a job as a nurse in a smaller practice -- less life and death responsibility there, I would imagine. Or are there agencies that provide temp nurses that you could work for, just to get a change of environment and get out of your current stressful situation?

I don't really know much about what the practical options might be, so these are just suggestions off the top of my head.

Also, it is my impression that there is a lot more mobility in the nursing profession than in others, so maybe you are making the changes a bigger issue than they would necessarily be to someone who does a lot of hiring. Agree it would be helpful to have an idea of how often you have changed jobs.

lhamo

Amaranth
12-3-11, 11:12am
It would be fair now that you have been in the job with this most difficult family for quite a while to talk to the agency and tell them you have done your fair share of this difficult work and are ready to switch to a different case that is more reasonable.

reader99
12-3-11, 11:55am
A friend of mine who is a retired Human Resources manager advised me to stick with a job for a year before moving on. If your past moves have been after a year or more, the job-hopping may not come across as badly as you fear.

this is a truly horrendous time to try to find a new job, so I do't blame you for feeling a bit frantic about it all. I second the above suggestion about asking your agency to move you to a less stressful assignment.

If you have health insurance, I do think it would be wise to have the cognitive troubles checked out.

Something to consider would be home helper/companion type jobs - not medical, but driving people places, fixing a meal, reminding them of meds and appointments, and sometimes just being there. These jobs are as scarce as any other, but your medical background may give you an edge. Another advantage is that they often want live-in workers, so you might could skip incurring the expense of your own place. Another thought along those lines would be to advertise in something like craigslist or the local paper, offering yourself as live-in help. My local paper often has an ad from a disabled lady who just needs help dressing and bathing, no medical responsibility.

A surprising number of otherwise not too specialized jobs require good cognitive function, so anything you can do to address that issue will widen your options.

reader99
12-3-11, 12:09pm
I also forgot to mention that while working for a housecleaning service is low paid, doing it as a self employed person pays well. It does take time to build up a clientele though, and becomes Beyond Boring very quickly. See also hotel maid service - in many cases thay are desperate to hire because it is boring and low paid, but it does have the desired absence of ability to hurt anyone.