Here is a Facebook way to piss off your friends and colleagues

[kally]

I joined a facebook group recently. We were chatting away and decided to invite some friends. So many of us invited friends by using the Add Friends button.

I assumed they would get an invitation to join the group. Wrong-0.
Seems they are automatically added to the group without their permission. As if this isn't bad enough, now everyone added gets notification of every single thread that goes on in our group.

So you have some people wondering why they are getting these posts, some people wondering how they ended up in the group when they never joined, and people in the group now realizing that their messages are going out to a great, not totally sympathetic audience.

Why would Facebook do that? I like Facebook, but I am finding a lot more not to like these days.

[iris lily]

You're right, that would be annoying.

Random posts on one of my friend's "Wall" appear in my email box. Not all of her posts, but some of them. I don't know why. It's messed up.

[CathyA]

Yeah, Facebook is pissing me off just by forcing us to change to their new, extremely confusing format. Also........I've discovered that a message can pop up that says "so and so wants to be your friend, do you accept?".......and the friend hasn't really done that. I guess we can't expect much from any social networking site, unfortunately.
You can "unfriend" them Kally, and that will take them off.
I've also discovered that if you "like" something like a video or a link........it will show up on your facebook, almost like you posted it yourself. I don't like that either.

[leslieann]

I think that you can keep stuff from appearing on your wall without unfriending. I have had to do that with some prolific posters. Also some of my FB friends have their privacy settings low...so I am aware and not posting comments to their stuff....but I had to learn this the hard way. The kind of work that I do, and the small town I live in, mean that sometimes I need to keep a lower, rather than higher, profile. I don't really want clients checking out my private life so I try to keep that separate from FB but I still like to use it to keep up with my kids and my friends from away. I don't think I have struck the right balance, and every time I think I have it, FB changes....

[Sissy]

Oh, how I despise that new timeline!

[Maxamillion]

I hate Timeline. I haven't talked to a single person yet that likes it.

[Gregg]

I haven't been on enough to figure out what timeline is. Guess that probably shows how I really feel about FB. Lots of my "friends" that are really my kids friends are having babies so I do like it because I get to see lots of pics, but other than that I could do without it. Don't even get me started on one friend who is my age and manages to post the partial lyrics to a dozen or so songs a day, tell everyone what the weather is there, comment on her new shoes (and she has LOTS)...

[Sad Eyed Lady]

I haven't been on enough to figure out what timeline is. Guess that probably shows how I really feel about FB. Lots of my "friends" that are really my kids friends are having babies so I do like it because I get to see lots of pics, but other than that I could do without it. Don't even get me started on one friend who is my age and manages to post the partial lyrics to a dozen or so songs a day, tell everyone what the weather is there, comment on her new shoes (and she has LOTS)...
Hahahahaaa! I have a friend like that: Here's what we had for lunch today (photo); I am tired after moving furniture around in my living room;I took the dog to get groomed today; I want this (photo); and on and on and on... other people who were mutual friends were starting to make jokes about it, saying she gave a blow by blow description of her day. A bit excessive!

[Gardenarian]

Facebook is so dangerous! I hardly ever use it because I just don't have a handle on how what I share goes to whom and whatnot. What if I just want to share one thing with one person? Facebook makes accidentally pushing one key into a life altering choice.

[Tradd]

Kally, that thing with the groups is nothing new. It's been around for a few years. I found out when someone invited me to a group, not realizing everything that happens, like you just found out.

[SteveinMN]

Facebook makes accidentally pushing one key into a life altering choice.
I think that depends on what you're sharing -- and the way you share that information and who you share it with can make a huge difference, too. I really don't care if the entire world can find out on Facebook that I "Like" my local Ace Hardware store. Maybe I wouldn't stand in front of the store, offering testimonials to passersby, but about the only harm I can see coming from the world knowing that is from a family member that works at True Value or Hardware Hank. And, if that were the case, I would use some discretion before clicking the Like button. On the other hand, if I chose to reveal about myself or someone else, say, a "non-traditional gender preference", yeah, that could be life-altering. But the level of alteration wouldn't differ all that much whether I told someone on Facebook or whispered it to a friend I thought I could trust.

I'm not trying to defend Facebook unduly. In some thread elsewhere on this site, people are discussing "evil" companies; for me, Facebook's treatment of personal privacy makes it somewhat evil. But people can overshare in many different venues and with no technology other than a shared language, an educated tongue, and a willing ear. It is the information and what the recipient does with it that can be life-altering, not the vector.

[ToomuchStuff]

You're right, that would be annoying.

Random posts on one of my friend's "Wall" appear in my email box. Not all of her posts, but some of them. I don't know why. It's messed up.

I hope this is not what I just received (similar). I am NOT on any of those social "networking" sites, for a few reasons (can't go into all of them). I know they have had issues before, where they change peoples preferences, when they do something new (it resets to the default allow).
But I received what looks like an ad (third party) asking if a person I know, can ad me as a friend on AOL (which I am not a part of). I didn't even know they have a social networking section (or care). Looks like it was mailed through their mailbox, IMHO, without them knowing.

[creaker]

I try to keep in mind that we're on Facebook to chat and share photos and events - while Facebook is there solely to make money. I'm not going to begrudge them trying to do what they are there for while they are giving me something free.