Cypress
5-21-12, 3:17pm
Past Life Moments
I am sure this topic has been discussed previously but here I go….When I was about 17 or so, I became captivated by the First World War, not in a military sense but by the tragedy of it. At the time, there were a few films and books which helped give a visual and better understanding of the actual event. I am into my 50s now and this sensation was rejuvenated lately with several films on this topic. Right now, I am reading Birdsong by Sebastian Faulk. While the book is well written and also gives a sense of the great tragedy, it reaches something deeper in me. Either I dwell in the morbid, or there is something familiar to it all. As so many men, women and children perished I think it possible that the images, poetry or readings stir up an old memory from before.
One theme that comes through in the book I am reading is the lead characters confusion at times about the concept of the forward movement of time. This man has survived all four years thus far and seen so many battles and comrades perish. He cannot sort out when it happened at moments. The author may be giving us an inside perspective on battle fatigue. But, how can I understand life unless I understand death. Isn’t it possible I have been dead so than I feel life?
I think I was in the trenches and was buried in them. I have a fear of walking in closed in places and under low arches. I simply panic and have to get out. I absolutely hate guns and war of any kind. I am a closet pacifist and truly have a Quaker outlook on conflict. Where did it come from? I can remember being 16 and in a mock fencing duel. My high school had all the equipment and I had fun at first. I had my opponent and could have stabbed them but could not do it. Even in jest I realized this was not part of my nature. Was I in a similar situation and won? Did I see the result of my actions and now cannot bear it?
Anybody else get fixed on an event in history and feel it is in them somewhere. I tend to believe in one line from my Catholic upbringing, belief in all things seen and unseen.
I am sure this topic has been discussed previously but here I go….When I was about 17 or so, I became captivated by the First World War, not in a military sense but by the tragedy of it. At the time, there were a few films and books which helped give a visual and better understanding of the actual event. I am into my 50s now and this sensation was rejuvenated lately with several films on this topic. Right now, I am reading Birdsong by Sebastian Faulk. While the book is well written and also gives a sense of the great tragedy, it reaches something deeper in me. Either I dwell in the morbid, or there is something familiar to it all. As so many men, women and children perished I think it possible that the images, poetry or readings stir up an old memory from before.
One theme that comes through in the book I am reading is the lead characters confusion at times about the concept of the forward movement of time. This man has survived all four years thus far and seen so many battles and comrades perish. He cannot sort out when it happened at moments. The author may be giving us an inside perspective on battle fatigue. But, how can I understand life unless I understand death. Isn’t it possible I have been dead so than I feel life?
I think I was in the trenches and was buried in them. I have a fear of walking in closed in places and under low arches. I simply panic and have to get out. I absolutely hate guns and war of any kind. I am a closet pacifist and truly have a Quaker outlook on conflict. Where did it come from? I can remember being 16 and in a mock fencing duel. My high school had all the equipment and I had fun at first. I had my opponent and could have stabbed them but could not do it. Even in jest I realized this was not part of my nature. Was I in a similar situation and won? Did I see the result of my actions and now cannot bear it?
Anybody else get fixed on an event in history and feel it is in them somewhere. I tend to believe in one line from my Catholic upbringing, belief in all things seen and unseen.