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View Full Version : And now... mixed feelings on Father's Day?



happystuff
6-16-12, 1:30pm
Dh's dad passed in March of 2011 and my dad passed in December of 2011. We will, of course, celebrate the day for dh, but it still just feels... empty without our dads/grandfathers.

Even thought they are gone, there are still - thankfully! - so many wonderful memories.

Wishing everyone a very happy Father's Day.

catherine
6-16-12, 1:49pm
I want to say Happy Father's Day to all the unsung heroes that are stepdads. My mother kicked out my biological father when I was young because of alcoholism, but then married a 28 year old guy (she was a cougar at age 38) who accepted her and her four kids ages 7 to 17.

He gave us the best gift possible: he got up every day, went to work, came home, was there when he was needed, stepped away when it was not appropriate because he wasn't our "real dad." Left us funny cartoons in our cereal bowls in the morning. Drove us crazy with his conservative views about Barry Goldwater. Had a bum leg from a car accident, an average job as a draftsman, and was basically your everyday gift from God.

I was sad when he, too, fell off the wagon when I was in college and my mother wound up dumping him too. If he's "up there somewhere" I would like him to know that he contributed heavily to some of the best years of my life.

Valley
6-16-12, 2:47pm
That is a great tribute to your stepdad Catherine!

I was blessed with a wonderful Dad and when he died 6 years ago at age 84, I still wasn't ready to let him go. He was a man of great faith who walked "the talk" of his faith. Happy Father's Day Dad...I love you and I'm eternally grateful for you!

Stella
6-16-12, 7:35pm
No mixed feelings here! I have an awesome Dad and my husband is an awesome Dad to our children (and an awesome husband). I baked them great-aunt Beulah's famous butterscotch pie. It was well recieved.

iris lily
6-16-12, 7:41pm
My dad died in 1994 and that almost 20 years ago. How can that be? I miss him in a distant kind of way, not in that sharp all encompassing way that happens in the first few years after death.

I have a batch of letters that he wrote when he was in WWII, letters to his mother and brothers. I don't think that any of them are to my mom. I've not read them. I wonder what is up with that? hmmm. I don't think of them with dread or sadness. Well, maybe it is a little bit of dread in that I need to find the right time to give them full attention. Usually I pick up things and read in bits and pieces, casually.

lhamo
6-16-12, 8:46pm
My dad died just after Easter when I was 15, and so Father's Day has always been a bit rough for me.

My DH doesn't really "do" these kinds of holidays. He has trouble remembering/acknowledging birthdays and our anniversary, so I don't have high expectations -- he didn't say/do anything special on Mother's Day this year, for example. But we happened to go out for dinner with friends last night -- a rare date night for us -- and then they asked if we wanted to go get foot massages, which we did. DH really enjoyed it, so I bought him a discount card at the foot massage place as his Father's Day present. I'll probably also suggest he pick where we go for lunch today.

lhamo

treehugger
6-17-12, 2:26pm
I have 2 dads: a bio dad and a step-dad, and I definitely have mixed feelings about Father's Day. I actually have so many of the cliched "daddy issues" that it's embarrassing; I prefer to think my life isn't cliched.

I have 6 siblings (mix of 4 families), and I am definitely in last place among any of my parents' affections. But, DH and I did take his dad and step-mom out to dinner last night, I know my father-in-law loves me with all his heart.

Kara

danna
6-17-12, 2:43pm
My Dad has been gone since I was in my late 20.s...(he was a good person with many issues and I loved him a lot), I like what someone said above, that I now seem to miss him in a distant kind of way...
Of course for myself and my kids/grandkids this is the first Father's Day without their Dad and I sure hope with time it gets better for all of us.

Merski
6-17-12, 4:34pm
danna, distant hugs for you...