The little things... Like "thanks".

[Mrs-M]

I was thinking about my family and how my husband always tell me- "thanks honey", or how my kids never forget to say- "thanks mommy".

Seems a lot of people nowadays have forgotten how to say thanks. Is "thank you" or "thanks" expressed in your home regularly?

[fidgiegirl]

Isn't it amazing what one gesture of thanks can do?

I teach exploratory Spanish in an elementary school and one age level was making tortillas at the end of last term and another age group was making piñatas. All any of them could say when they found out the other was doing the other was to moan and groan. It was really getting to me!

But then when we culminated the activities, one or two of them said a heartfelt thanks and it was all ok.

I got a nice e-mail from a parent the other day thanking me for being involved in an extracurricular activity, and a verbal thanks from another parent on the same day. Gives you the strength to keep going.

My DH and I have a good relationship in terms of being thankful for each other. When I start to get fed up with something he's doing I will think of what life was like before him (we were 30 and 37 when we married, so we'd had some single years) and then I automatically feel more thankful to have him and will tell him so.

[RosieTR]

DH and I thank each other daily for random chores, even simple stuff like moving the garbage can from the curb to the backyard or starting the dishwasher. It's nice.

[goldensmom]

I read this story in Country magazine. Mom takes her child in for immunizations. As the nurse prepares to give the shot, the child says 'no, no, no'. Mom says that is not very nice, so child says 'no thank you, no thank you, no thank you.

I don't expect or feel that I need to be thanked for the routine things I do around the house. I think is polite to say thank you when I do a act of kindness out of the ordinary such as when I wash my husbands car or run an errand for him that he just hasn't gotten to. I always say thank you to a store clerk, when someone holds the door for me, etc.. I also like it that my kids, nieces and nephews say 'yes, ma'am' and 'yes, sir' and use the terms Mr. and Mrs.. Those terms of respect seem to have almost disappeared as common useage.

[crunchycon]

It's just DH and me around here, and we do say "thank you for doing laundry" or "thank you for emptying the dishwasher" -- and we mean it. Looking at it in print, it seems kind of silly, but it does create a nice atmosphere.

[Rosemary]

Everyone in our household routinely expresses gratitude.

[danna]

Love to hear the words.....also, think the words 'could you, would you" go a long way when asking for something versus just saying "Do It"

[Tammy]

I often thank the people at work that I supervise, especially at the end of a difficult day, or after they have done a task that is distasteful and difficult. Even if it's their job, my theory is that they appreciate it that I notice. There are those in management who would say that I am too soft, but then I am hearing rumors that I am know for running a tight ship, following policy, etc. So I guess it's working ...

But whether it works or not, I will still thank people cause that's a non-negotiable in my world.

[Mrs-M]

There's a warmness that came over me as I read through all of your entries. "Thank you" as well as general recognition is such a simple and easy and cost free action to express, yet the outcome is so worthy and warm and loving. I'm so happy to see it exists in other homes besides ours.

[Gregg]

I have to confess that I don't express my thanks as often as I could/should. There are countless people in my life that have done wonderful, caring things for me and they all deserve to know that I appreciate them. There is a book that someone suggested in the old forums called "365 Thank Yous". I've kind of taken that to heart this year. Not exactly trying to write a thank you note to someone every day for a year as the author did, but definitely trying to be more appreciative. It's already become apparent that such a simple gesture really has the ability to make someone's day so I intend to continue. Truth be told I think I'm getting more out of it than anyone who has received a thank you.

[Bootsie]

My confession is that it drives me bonkers when my DH thanks me for doing ordinary tasks. I don't want to be thanked for doing the laundry every single time I do the laundry, or shop, or sweep, whatever. Honestly, the tasks aren't that hard and I would do them whether or not he thanks me. I know how ungrateful I sound for his gratefulness, but there's a disproportion of thanking to the tasks around here. I've told him it's too much, but thanking is such a habit with him (my MIL raised him well!), that it's unlikely to change.

I do thank my family members for tasks - especially when my kids pitch in and do housework that allows me to do other work. For ordinary day-to-day tasks, I'm not as likely to say a string of thank yous.

I do appreciate a heartfelt thanks if something I did really helped someone else or if someone appreciates extra time and effort I did. Awhile ago I got a handwritten thank-you card from someone and it felt wonderful.

[Zzz]

Thanks should not be expected all of the time for doing our regular tasks. I shouldn't need to be thanked by someone -- nor expect verbal expressions of gratitude -- every time I sweep or vacuum or do the dishes. Nor should I have to thank anyone in the household for doing routine tasks. It's just part of life.

The occasional "Thank you for all you do here" is nice, though.

I think that thanking people every time they do anything is sort of akin to giving trophies to every kid who played in any sport. It becomes meaningless.

Edited due to left out words that changed meaning.

[Float On]

My confession is that it drives me bonkers when my DH thanks me for doing ordinary tasks.

I think it drives me bonkers that I do all those tasks day in and day out several times over with not the slightest 'thank you' and I don't expect a 'thanks' they are just the tasks I do everyday because they NEED to be done..... and if my DH does it once....he stands around telling me what all he did until I say 'Thanks'!

I have brought up my boys to say thank you and sometimes I think maybe I did it too well. Once at a restaurant I counted and the boys told the waitstaff 'thankyou' maybe 50 times. And I've been told by relatives that my boys are they only ones who still handwrite a Thank you note after a gift or visit.

[citrine]

My boyfriend always tells me thank you for taking care of the house, making dinner, or folding his laundry. I also make sure that I thank him for helping me around the house. It makes the day so much nicer when someone you love expresses their gratitude. We also surprise each other with love notes in random places such as the coffee machine, on the car, the dishwasher....etc.

[Mrs-M]

So nice reading everyone's perspective on this issue. In many ways I attribute this shared common denominator to the laid-back and simple lifestyle we all choose. Always making time for family, seeking quality time, and having an added appreciation for all things that help make a family close.

[Wildflower]

We say please and thank you often in our home, and to others in public when it is warranted. DH and I were both raised to do so, and we raised our kids to do the same. Now the lovely payoff is hearing my little 7 yr.old and 2 yr.old grandkids say please and thank you as well. :D

I appreciate manners in a person, and I personally enjoy expressing gratitude and thanks to those that are kind, generous, and just plain ole doing a good job. :+1:

[Mrs-M]

I appreciate manners too Wildflower. My weakness is seeing innocent little manners coming out in young children. It's not as prevalent as it was say 20-30 years ago, but it's out there and with any luck it's on the rise. :)