little progress with the kids,...

[Zoe Girl]

As I am learning to be more assertive and have my own adult life (thank you to my wonderful bf) I am seeing some small changes. It is good. So we are snowed in, no school or work today. Last night I was going to bed as I usually go to bed earlier than the kids and told them the kitchen needed to be cleaned before they went to bed or I would wake them up as soon as I got up to clean it. And it was done this morning. Okay that makes me sound like the biggest wimp ever that it doesn't always get done but that is the truth. We have had serious problems with the kids listening to me and taking me seriously. Of course yesterday they told me I was grumpy all the time and no fun but then they took naps like toddlers and felt better.

[Reyes]

Zoe, you may want to be mindful that the children see the changes are coming from you, not from or because of your boy friend. If the children think the changes are simply due to the BF, they may resent him in the future. In addition, if you and BF are not together at some point in the future, it may open the kids up to reverting back to old ways (if they thought the changes were due in large part to BF being in your life).

[Zoe Girl]

Ah yes, that is true. I thank him for helping me have a real adult life but the rest is up to me. It does help immensely that I have someone who thinks I am awesome but I have to do the hard work with them. I will pay attention to how this is presented, since his girls had a step mom I think he is aware of the issues and doesn't try to take charge but instead just has fun with them.