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earthshepherd
2-2-11, 7:13pm
Sometimes I regret living in a goldfish bowl sized town, but not today. My best friend died Saturday after a 16 month battle with a rare, agressive cancer, just 52 years old, and we buried her this morning, then had a wonderful memorial service.

The freezing cold wind and snow whipped us as we stood at the cemetery, high on a hill out in the country, but our group of friends huddled around the family to keep them warm. I couldn't feel my feet by the time the burial was over, but I thawed out in time for the service at the church.

The church was packed, standing room only. Hugs were spread around liberally. My friend has dictated to her family that her hats and scarves be given away to her girlfriends, and we all wore them to the service. She wrote her own funeral service, and had each of us who were okay with it have a speaking part. The centerpiece of the service was a recording of her singing a song recorded years ago -- and it was fantastic!

After the service we piled in cars and went to another church for a dinner. The school district staff and our local college (including the college president) cooked lunch for well over 300 people. Hugs were again the greeting of choice, the meal was spectacular, and I got to spend some time with my friend's 26 year old daughter who I am "adopting" for the remainder of my life. Also got to sit and talk with my friend's twin sister, with whom I have a special understanding, because I also have an identical twin.

Life has been hard since Christmas when we learned that she just had a few weeks left, but today had its own sense of peace, community and love that I won't ever forget! It was just amazing to see a whole town pull together as community for this one family. Friends are so precious, and community is not something to take for granted. Please hug your best friends for me this week!!

Lainey
2-2-11, 8:25pm
Thanks for posting. Sad but uplifting at the same time.

Gina
2-2-11, 8:33pm
I'm sorry you lost your friend. Very sad. I'm also glad the service was so memorable.

I lost one of my best friends ever several years ago to ovarian cancer. I think of her often and still miss her. Like your friend, she was one of a kind. Coincidentally, I ran into her husband just this past Saturday and he's doing well. That was good to see.

Good friends are blessings no matter how long they are in our lives.

Fawn
2-2-11, 8:55pm
One of my best friends died of breast cancer 7 years ago. On the way to her service, many perfect strangers pulled their cars over to let the funeral procession pass. This blew me away. One of her sons had the same birthday as mine....I got his cake one year (long story).

In our love, they are eternal.

Hattie
2-2-11, 9:16pm
I am so sorry that you lost your dear friend earthshepherd. It must have been very touching and emotional to see all of her girlfriends wearing her hats and scarves at the service. How beautiful!

Stella
2-2-11, 9:17pm
Hugs E! I am so sorry for your loss!

danna
2-2-11, 9:50pm
A great loss...she will live on in all she touched....

fidgiegirl
2-2-11, 10:26pm
What a lovely service. So glad it was positive. (((earthshepherd)))

razz
2-2-11, 10:39pm
Thanks for sharing this.

EarthSky
2-2-11, 10:53pm
I am so very sorry for your loss. How amazIng that you both have identical twins. And how special that you are 'adopting' her daughter. Wishing you strength and peace in the midst of your grief on the next part of your journey. And thank you for inspiring me to contact a close dear friend with whom I've been out of touch for several years.

gimmethesimplelife
2-2-11, 11:26pm
Sounds like a very touching day, and even with the loss of this special person, uplifting too! I think back onto both sides of my family, especially my father's, who can't stand each other and are only after each other's money, and I am just touched at such a funeral. Just a class act. Rob

loosechickens
2-2-11, 11:41pm
so sorry about your friend, but so glad that she was surrounded by a caring community, and that you are as well.

frugal-one
2-3-11, 3:17am
My sympathies to you too.

Wildflower
2-3-11, 3:26am
What a lovely day spent memorializing your friend. My sympathies for your loss and may the good memories bring you comfort.

Float On
2-3-11, 9:26am
Your service sounds like a wonderful celebration of her life.
So sorry for your loss.

Mrs-M
2-3-11, 9:38am
Very touching. A beautiful celebration for a beautiful life lived.

Kat
2-3-11, 12:36pm
(((earthshepherd))) I am so sorry for your loss. The service you described sounds like a beautiful way to remember her and celebrate her life.

It made me smile to see that you are "adopting" your friend's daughter. One of my best friends lost her mother last summer, and she has expressed that while she loves her girlfriends her own age, she misses having that maternal figure in her life. I'm glad that you can be that for someone else.

Praying for peace and comfort for you and everyone else who is grieving her loss.

beckyliz
2-3-11, 3:47pm
Thank you for sharing about your friend and her service - it touched me deeply. Hugs, earthshepherd.

earthshepherd
2-3-11, 7:34pm
thank you all for comfort and hugs! I am very blessed to have this online community too.

Greg44
2-3-11, 7:46pm
So sorry to hear about the death of your friend. I have not lost anyone that I am super close to - I hope that when that day comes, I have all the support that you have. What a wonderful community you have to be a part of. Thank you for sharing your story.

chrisgermany
2-4-11, 6:26am
I am sorry for your loss. But how wonderful that you could let her go in such a great community.

Anne Lee
2-4-11, 6:42am
Boy is that hard. I pray comfort for you. Please take care of yourself.

leslieann
2-4-11, 7:19am
What a remarkable experience...how lovely to hear about the service, especially with the centrepiece being your friend's voice singing. I am sorry for your loss and inspired to hear about what your community has done to mark this woman's life. Thanks for sharing this.

CathyA
2-4-11, 8:32am
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person! I'm sure she would have loved the service and the entire day. I'm so glad you knew each other.
((((hugs)))))

Crystal
2-4-11, 8:39am
Sounds like a most wonderful and heart opening experience. I've lost very close friends and family to cancer. It is very hard.

daisy
2-6-11, 7:07pm
It sounds like you have a wonderful community around you and your friend was obviously a special part of it. I'm very sorry for your loss.