Zoe Girl
2-5-11, 10:20am
Hi all, I am reading Awakening the Buddha Within and I really love it. I am working a few ideas and I find that I really am missing the support of a group. I have a couple choices here where I live and I love the one with my UU church but often have conflicts with the meeting times. (I will miss 2 again to take an intense Spanish class that I feel I need for my job). We do a lot of great things but I don't have a teacher to really ask questions of. I am going to ask here to see if a discussion can help me and others with this path.
So I am looking at attachment, since so much is attachment, and I realize I have 2 major attachment issues. They are validation and expectations. These are both complicated for their own reasons but mostly I am finding that really looking at letting go of these attachments scares the crap out of me. I am afraid that I will disappear and be forgotten and become one of the many homeless I see everyday on my routes. (I am good at drama but try to keep it on the written page). I also meditated and felt a moment where I could see that being attached to these was actually affecting my effectiveness in the world including possibly my career and income. These are not minor issues as I have 3 children and facing reality says we need a certain amount of money. I have also struggled with the idea that I need to be poor because that is somehow more spiritual but I am letting that one go.
So there it is, big fear along with a tiny glimmer of seeing the possible freedom and a life filled with wonderful people who would not have the slightest clue what I was talking about if I attempted this conversation
So I am looking at attachment, since so much is attachment, and I realize I have 2 major attachment issues. They are validation and expectations. These are both complicated for their own reasons but mostly I am finding that really looking at letting go of these attachments scares the crap out of me. I am afraid that I will disappear and be forgotten and become one of the many homeless I see everyday on my routes. (I am good at drama but try to keep it on the written page). I also meditated and felt a moment where I could see that being attached to these was actually affecting my effectiveness in the world including possibly my career and income. These are not minor issues as I have 3 children and facing reality says we need a certain amount of money. I have also struggled with the idea that I need to be poor because that is somehow more spiritual but I am letting that one go.
So there it is, big fear along with a tiny glimmer of seeing the possible freedom and a life filled with wonderful people who would not have the slightest clue what I was talking about if I attempted this conversation