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Zoe Girl
2-9-11, 9:16am
Wow I had this really elaborate explanation of expectations and was impressed. It seems that I am seeing people (me included) have this great set of expectations and then we react to how things work with them or don't work with them. And most of the time this is all in our head. So that is why I love Buddhism because there is a small hope of instead of dealing with this layer of expectation between us and reality we may actually experience life as it is.

Hmm, now to let go of my expectation that I can explain this in any way to my mother so she will stop asnwering the phone when I call with statements like "So you are at home", :~)

Rosemary
2-9-11, 9:25am
The most valuable lesson I learned in my 10 years of high-tech engineering was "managing expectations" - both my own and those of the people with whom I interact.

Zoe Girl
2-10-11, 9:26am
I find it a lifesaver and sanity saver in many ways. Even when I was active in an orthodox Christian church I was at least as much Buddhist as Christian. I didn't leave the church for any other reason than the stifling patriarchy in that particular group so I see that it is not necessary to choose between them. The Gnostic tradition is very much aligned with Buddhism in my mind as well.

Rosemary, I am finding that after spending decades managing expectations by trying not to have any that now I feel I am in a stage where I can start to assert some expectations and be clear about them. The thing was that even though I tried to not have expectations I still did have them but I wasn't clear about them. Since my new job has more supervisory functions this is important but also in starting a new relationship. To me stating a clear expectation and then dealing with it is a lot different than living in our fantasy expectation world. Right now I have an expectation of a friend but insted of getting lost in the fantasy i am seeing if it works, and if not then i will adjust and go on.