Montessori education: is it good for introverted kids?

[frugalista]

So I thought I'd turn to my SL peeps, deep well of knowledge that you all are. :D

The traditional elementary school my daughter attends is in many ways not a good fit for either the kid or the school. Long story short, my daughter is an introvert; she works best on her own or in small groups when she chooses, and prefers to have some control over her choices and the structure of her day. Her current school can't accommodate many of her tendencies. Additionally, she's slightly behind in social and emotional development, and that doesn't help matters.

The district we're in is opening a Montessori school for k4-5th. I know a little about Montessori, and from what I know it could be a good fit. But if you have experience with Montessori and whether it would be a good fit for a very bright, but very sensitive little girl, I would appreciate your input.

Thanks as always.

[kib]

I was a very bright but very sensitive little girl, and I think that three years in an "open classroom" from ages 10-12 was one contributing factor in academic problems later on. However, my experience was with a classroom of 100 kids, four large rooms and 4 teachers. Rather little supervision, and not enough teaching. Completely individualized programs ironically led to a lot less academic attention, even though it was very one-on-one. Maybe three hours of actual personal tutoring a week, and the rest of the time totally unstructured free study or non-academic pursuits like practicing music or recreational reading. I felt lost and bored and gratefully disappeared into the woodwork, and when I entered 7th grade with its traditional secondary school model of 50 minute periods entirely filled with supervision and eternal lectures, I was Sooooo unprepared for the amount of work, the amount of not talking, the amount of sitting still, the amount of rigidity and lack of "kicking the idea around" (not to mention a woeful lack of knowledge about any subject I hadn't personally pursued, like history or geography, that all the other kids were given in an organized curriculum for three years), it was a disaster.

In contrast to that, K-3 was spent in a somewhat more traditional class, one room, 18-20 kids and an assistant for the teacher, time divided into teacher-at-the-blackboard, small study groups and some lightly supervised "quiet time" for work and reading. That worked Very well for me and would have worked just fine as a transitional model into a heavier lecture format.

So my thought on Montessori is really that the fit is a matter of how their class is structured, how many children per teacher and how much time is supervised -as well, of course, as to whether your child would be a good fit for their structure.

[Dhiana]

I didn't learn I was an Introvert until I was almost 30. I went through the regular public school system and realize that most of my social insecurities were simply because of the usual introvert tendancies.

While I know nothing about the Montessori school ideas or concepts, ultimately school is to educate and I don't mean just the bookwork. Children also learn how to act, interact, socialize with others in public/social settings. Giving her only situations she feels comfortable in won't teach her much.

She will already be ahead of the game in the fact that you realize she is an introvert and can help her see where she can adjust to the world's extrovert environment =) Such as making sure she has time to herself to basically recharge.
My parents had no idea and were not helpful.
Dhiana

[fidgiegirl]

@kib, while I'm sad to hear you had those years that didn't work for you, open model does not necessarily mean Montessori. Were you in a Montessori school? I teach in an open school (NOT a Montessori school) and a comment we once got from some Columbia University Teachers College people, which was good for us to hear but kind of too bad to hear, was that we were the only open school they had ever seen that "works." That means there were a lot that did/do not.

Frugalista, I am sorry that I do not have personal experience in a Montessori setting nor much training in it. If school isn't working for your daughter, now, though, it'd be worth a try. Are there other alternatives?

[Zippy]

Ignoring the introvert issue, your daughter sounds like potentially a very good fit for a Montessori program. Including the introvert issue, I still say yes because Montessori schools spend a lot of time in community, as well --- at least the one my kids went to did. A lot of the values of Maria Montessori were taught, which is good -- maybe read up on her philosophy.

[Stella]

I used to be a teacher's aide in a Montessori preschool. Admittedly this was in college, so a lot of the Montessori method is kind of fuzzy in my head, but it did really seem to work in the school I was at. I particularly like the self directed learning aspect. Kids really are wired to learn and I like that self directed learning in an environment geared towards education helps them develop that self motivation instead of replacing it with something external. My experience was with preschoolers, though, so I don't know what it's like at higher grade levels. I think kib and fidgiegirl's points are right on, though. It has to be done well to work.

I disagree that she won't learn to socialize if she's not in a traditional classroom setting. Montessori seemed to me to be closer to adult life socialization than traditional school was. In my adult life I work with other people, but largely autonomously.

I'd check the school out. It seems worth a shot. The only caveat is that anyone can call themselves a Montessori school, so what actually goes on in each classroom can vary a lot.

Fidgiegirl I'd love to hear more about your school sometime. It sounds interesting!

[lhamo]

I also worked as an assistant in a Montessori pre-school in college (how wierd is THAT, Stella :)), and agree that it may be an excellent fit for your daughter, depending on how it is run. Montessori done badly can leave kids floundering, but for a naturall self-directed child with good guidance, it can be a wonderful experience. YOu have to be sure that the "directress" doesn't just let the child do whatever they want to do naturally, but encourages and supports them to reach out into areas that are more challenging for them. Otherwise you can end up with really lopsided skills and lack of exposure to whole areas of the curriculum. But if you talk with your child daily about how they spent their time in the classroom and ask to see their work regularly, you should be able to get an idea pretty quickly if that is an issue. I also agree with Stella that in general Montessori classrooms provide MUCH better support for a more real-life approach to socialization than the traditional classroom. In a good Montessori classroom, kids are encouraged from a very young age to support each other in their learning and emotionally, and to learn to manage and resolve their own conflicts. It doesn't always work out according to the ideal (my BA thesis was on approaches to conflict management in two classrooms at the school where I worked, and I found there was a lot more action taken by adults to manage and control conflict than the philosophy would really indicate), but it is a good starting point. Also, Montessori classes are often multiage/multigrade, which I personally think is a wonderful thing.

I would give it a try, especially since the current situation is such a poor fit for her.

lhamo

[Perplexa]

I'm a Montessori teacher (and was a Montessori child), so I'm a bit biased, but I also know something about Montessori! It's important to realize that Montessori schools vary a LOT. There are many different organizations that purport to train teachers in the Montessori method, some more authentic to the method Dr. Montessori taught than others. Of course, the experience in any given classroom will depend a great deal on the quality of the teacher, no matter how they're trained.

That said, I don't see why a good Montessori classroom shouldn't be a good fit for an introverted child. Although children are free to talk, move around the classroom, and work together, they should never be *required* to, and if she prefers to work alone, that ought to be okay. Montessori schools usually place a great deal of emphasis on what we call "Grace and Courtesy", meaning taking care of ourselves and each other, so you'll usually find that children are pretty respectful of each other's needs. She's not likely to get teased for being quiet or wanting to work alone. Since Montessori children are allowed to develop at their own pace and they're in mixed age classrooms, she won't stand out much if she's a little "behind" in one area or a little "ahead" in another. Other children may be aware of these differences, but they'll rarely be competitive.

You should be aware, though, that Montessori's elementary program is really intended to build on the preschool program which should start at age 3. The children begin practicing taking care of their practical needs (dressing, cleaning, eating, etc), taking care of each other (Grace and Courtesy), and making their own independent work choices when they're three, so by the time they're in elementary school, they're pretty good at all this. A lot of children who don't have that experience need more guidance and limitations in elementary school. Since you're talking about a brand new program, your daughter's classmates will mostly not have come out of Montessori schools, and that may affect the experience.

It sounds like the school you're looking at isn't open yet, so if I were you, I'd look for private Montessori schools in the area whose teachers have the same training that the public school's teachers are going to have (AMI training would be the best, IMNSHO followed by AMS), and ask if you can observe in their classrooms. They'll probably ask you to observe in both a preschool and an elementary classroom (if they have elementary), which is a really good idea. You can get an idea of what Montessori schools are like and see if you think it would work for your daughter.

I hope that's helpful. If I can (try to) answer any other questions, please let me know!

Perplexa

[Perplexa]

P.S. Wow, sorry about the novel there. I, um...feel strongly about Montessori! :-)

[Brian]

If there are any parallels with our experience you could use.... To allow for seasonal residence moves our DD had her schooling via remote school (live via internet interaction with a teacher and other students in a number of countries, peak term she had a tutor/nanny... not what it sounds, move to tropical island and offer room/board and expense $$ and see how many offers from recent grads you get :)) and multi discipline projects that were tailored for her interests while within Ontario Enriched program academic requirements.
She worked archeoligical digs with university teams, did marine sciences center programs with older students for many seasons, shark tagging her fav and centred her atheltic component in horses (was responsible for care of a island stable at one point)... DSO was concerned as she was heading through secondary school she was missing some of the "rights of passage" she enjoyed so we searched for a transition school to University.

We settled on a Waldorf HS after a lot of research, where she would be academically challenged in small pupil/teacher ratio classes. There were concerns as she would be joining a small close knit class who had moved through school life together... but this was a year they would get a new teacher so we thought it would help.

I can say that we were very pleased how it all worked for her... she is heading to post grad studies and her closest friends are her Waldorf ones still.

I would emphasise you do your research as to the experience of the school administers, its funding and teacher qualifications but if they look good or better than your public school options I would not be too concerned.

[Fawn]

I have had only one child in Montessori school, and he is "my difficult child" no matter the school structure..

He was "smarter than the average bear" and got aggravated (and violent) when someone else messed with whatever his project was.

I think the staff there worked hard to help him, but I will always remember the day I drove home from helping my dying father with a bath and was presented with all the things my son had done wrong that day, even though I said multiple times, "I can't do this today...I can talk with you Monday about XYZ....I can't do this today...shall I call his father for you?....I can't do this today..."

In Montessori's defense, this child did not start to "fit in" in ANY school setting until he was 11-12 years old....