When you work hard and don't see any results.......

[sylvia]

I am usually a happy person but today I kinda got side tracked. I've started a new job and had to use all paychecks to pay off debts and bills. I am glad to do that- however my job will be done for the summer. I am a school bus driver, I will have freedom along with the students, but no checks until Sept. I just feel all the hard work I always put into my daily life, I just don't see any big results, yet the effort is huge to get out of a rut. Today I thought-why bother? I am still in debt and a long way to go. I just wanted to have something to enjoy. Even though I am relieved to pay off certain big debts and money well spent in that department-I feel shortchanged because I wanted something enjoyable out of it( new floor in basement etc.). Next school year I will be paying off my cc's with every paycheck and maybe my car payments too. But that is a year away.....:(Until then.

[SteveinMN]

Paying debts, I think, is like being on a diet. At some point you quit losing weight as you hit a plateau and all the stuff that worked for you before ... stops. Then, after some frustration and dismay, you start losing more weight even though you've really done nothing different.

One thing that really helps (me) in sticking to a diet is the ability to splurge occasionally. Sylvia, it's admirable that you've made significant progress on your debt, but it sounds like you're feeling a bit down because the results aren't very tangible. Maybe it's time to find at least a little money to spend on something you can see? If not now, then when you start collecting paychecks again this fall?

[sylvia]

Thanks Steve, you're right. I am stuck in a body with two minds." Pay it off ASAP" vs." Live a little". I have limited income coming in that I think 3 times about that dollar before I spend it. So I guess I will have to reward myself somehow live put up my zero balance cc statements for one.I have some art work that needs to be sold perhaps that will give me incentive to create and sell. Definitely love the Diet analogy because that's what it is.

[Tussiemussies]

Agree with Steve Sylvia, sometimes it is just too much deprivation and then the other mind set sets in. Maybe there is something you can do on a fairly regular basis to have some fun along the way...:)

[razz]

Sylvia, make a date with yourself to do something weekly that does not cost money. Rent a fun movie from the library, go for a walk through a park or greenhouse checking out the flowers, sit down for a full hour in a favourite place and just savour the freedom to do so, wander through a a store's collection of something you find beautiful - fabrics, glassware... -etc.

When I worked through the book, The Artist's Way, an artist date was important each week. I found so many things that were free to do but I needed the nudge to give myself the gift of time and freedom to simply do it.

I must get back to my weekly artist date as I slipped out of the routine and really miss doing this.

[catherine]

I agree with Steve, too. Going through my own debt reduction program, I totally relate. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees, but you are making steps in the right direction. I think allowing yourself a splurge is really important.

Sometimes to re-motivate myself when I feel like I'm on a debt treadmill with no end in sight, I thank God that at least I have the money to pay the bills. There was a time when I didn't. And if paying them and netting out at 0 is bad, constantly being in the red is SO much more stressful.

Keep it up--you're doing great.

[JaneV2.0]

School bus drivers can sometimes pick up summer school or camp gigs. Is that an option for you? Otherwise, I agree with everything said above.

[iris lily]

Everyone has good advice--get yourself out of the deprivation rut. But as razz suggests, that may not necessarily mean spending money. It could mean a weekly "vacation" somewhere within 30 minutes drive (and yes that is spending money!) with an event or focus or show that costs $10.00.

For me, seeing fresh views and new things is essential to mental health. For me, my city is endlessly fascinating and I can drive 15 minutes and be in an entirely different part of it. I will park, and walk around for 30 minutes, seeing stuff. In the summer time DH needs to get out into the cornfield of Illinois a couple of times if he doesn't make it back to Iowa. So that is, for us, a 20 - 30 minutes drive to see IL farmland. That refreshes him.

I guess I am saying: concentrate on the things that refresh your state of mind that are not about acquiring things. Develop that part of you. That helps in building a frugal and satisfying life.

[citrine]

I know exactly what you mean! I take all my birthday money and christmas money and hold onto it until I see something I really want throughout the year. I also use that for taking myself and DH out on little trips/dates. Keep a little...even $5 will help you with the deprivation feeling. We are currently putting everything we can towards our mortgage and living on a very tight budget...but we do allow for $200 a month for fun so that we don't get nuts about not living now!

[Zoe Girl]

I hear ya, it is rough. I have fel beat up by life for some time now and I get it. In school districts often there is limited or no chance to improve a wage. Summer jobs are limited but sometimes you can sign up for subbing for bud drivers over the summer (my camp is one of 4 that are doing field trips every week so I know some people are working). Right now i am counting on my tax return and extra summer pay to supplement the year and keep the car running.

I do walks in the park, join groups on meetup that cost little to nothing, and make sure I have a project like a crochet project or writing that I can't do during the school year. And it is okay to get kinda pissed off, but don't hang onto it too long because it makes it worse (sounds like this has been coming awhile so you know how to do that).

[sylvia]

Well I recently started driving and it's based on seniority since I'm number 115 in a company of 120. I also want to spend the summer with my dds 13 and 14.So I'll stay home for 2 months and Enjoy.

[BarbieGirl]

Sylvia,

i hear ya! With summer off you want to have a little fun money. I can relate to that! I love the idea of doing lots of fun and free things during the summer. Quite a few people have given some good ideas!

Revel in the joy of free time this summer! I know I intend to! Sleeping in is one of the biggies for me! I'm a night owl, so early rising to get the kids off during the school year is tough! I always feel summer is so luxurious! I love goofing off!

Barbie

[sylvia]

Hey Barbie-you are right ! Sleeping late is a luxury. I also take off my watch on the weekends because I am not at work.This summer may be the best ever!

[larknm]

You've got a lot of friends here rooting for you, Sylvia, I hope it can help.

[sylvia]

Thank you larknm I really appreciate it.

[sylvia]

Stopped by the store to reward myself on a Friday after work. The best I could do is buy placemats in my favorite color and some chai tea. Got so miserly that it's torture to buy something I like. Help!

[SvenV]

Hi Sylvia

Yes life sometimes seems very hard and all the effort you but in is gone. I know that very well... Find something you love doing! Something that brings you joy in life and you can enjoy! It does not have to be a big thing, it can be cooking, reading a good book, go out for a walk or starting to do sport.... It is important to enjoy the little moments, to enjoy the life in general. I found one a good site, which give me much joy and new ideas how I can create new ideas in my life: www.e-njoy.us

Best greetings and enjoy life...