Birthdays

[Gardenarian]

I have one coming up.
How do you like to celebrate you birthday? (If at all.)
I find it a little stressful. DD and DH are always anxious that I have a wonderful time, but their ideas are a bit different from mine!

My ideal birthday would be to get greetings from relatives and friends, have just a regular day (with lots of time outdoors) and maybe have a birthday pie (which I prefer to cake.) I don't really want any gifts, though it is hard to tell people this without offending them.

I guess I'm wondering how I can convey this to dd and dh - the whole day they are on pins and needles, determined that I will have the best day ever! The pressure!

[goldensmom]

have just a regular day (with lots of time outdoors) and maybe have a birthday pie (which I prefer to cake.) I don't really want any gifts, though it is hard to tell people this without offending them.

You'd fit nicely into my family regarding the regular day part. No gifts or cards and I haven't had a birthday pie (me too, banana cream) since my mom died 20 years ago. I hint at it every year but no pie or cake yet. I have a regular day and my husband takes me out to dinner usually to his favorite restaurant because where we eat out is not important to me. That's it. No stress. No expectations. Many years ago we used to go away for the weekend (birthday person's choice) but retirement and inflation put an end to that.

How to let people know..... in my younger years, I would plan what I was going to do on my birthday and let people know so they knew what I was going to do and what I expected them not to do. It worked well.

[Simplemind]

If you looked up introvert in the dictionary you would find my picture. I have never liked being the center of attention. My mom always made us our favorite dinner and dessert. She was also the best at the perfect gift. I am not a fan of gifts but hers where exceptional. Now she is gone so my sister and I carry on the birthday dinner tradition but without the gifts.

[SvenV]

I don't like so much my BD. I just want to pass it calm. No big parties and so on. I prefer going on a nice dinner.

Also the whole day I am so so so thoughtful.....

[Gardenarian]

Also the whole day I am so so so thoughtful.....

Yes, me too. I feel like birthdays are kind of personal. I want time to reflect on the past and future.

Another thing is, I really dislike restaurants and don't like fancy food in general, so when people think they are doing me a favor by taking me out... well, the thought is appreciated.

Maybe I'll suggest that we get burritos from the local taqueria; I do like burritos, and maybe that will quell their need to do something "special."

[KayLR]

I especially like my birthdays if they fall during the week. Then, I take the day off, and I do whatever the heck I want. Go on a hike, go thrifting, a drive or a bike ride, or just stay home by myself and catch up on (or start on) procrastinated upon projects. Those are my favorite birthdays. If it falls on a wkend, I usually just get taken out for dinner or something, although I'd prefer breakfast out. No gifts, thank you.

[Jilly]

I love my birthdays, love getting older. My preference is to not receive gifts, but you cannot tell people what to do, only be supportive and honest if they ask. I do, however, love receiving experiences as gifts. A day spent trying to keep up with two little boys at the zoo is my idea of a wonderful present.

[SvenV]

Maybe I'll suggest that we get burritos from the local taqueria; I do like burritos, and maybe that will quell their need to do something "special."


Oh yes burritos are very delicious:)

Oh, it don't have to be fancy, just delicious...

[Simpler at Fifty]

I would invite them to your party. Dear DD and DH. You are invited to my birthday party on July whatever. Please bring a pie to share. We will be spending a lot of time outdoors so dress accordingly. Love me

[catherine]

I was just talking to the girl who cuts my hair and she turned 30 last year and treated herself to a solo vacation on some island where she did some hiking and other stuff all by herself. Sounded great to me.

Her new BF got a little concerned and proposed to her three weeks later, so that might be the end of the solo vacays for a while.

I believe that people should plan their own birthdays. I think it's a bit unfair for people to be expected to live up to some false expectations with regards to giving the birthday boy/girl a good time.

I'm very laissez-faire about my birthday, and I don't want anyone in my family to spend an ounce of sweat over it.

[iris lilies]

... DD and DH are always anxious that I have a wonderful time...

That would make me crazy.

I like my birthday, I like to figure out what to do with it, and because DH was well trained by his mother I know that he will always recognize it with a card and little bitty present of some kind. But beyond that, it's up to me to decide what to do. I am not a big birthday celebrator and sometimes it is just annoying when people other than DH insist on recognizing it. You see, I don't recognize their birthdays but by now everyone knows that.

Some years I want to dine out at a favorite and expensive restaurant, and other years I cannot be bothered. My birthday hits a week after peak iris season, and this year, since the garden was late in bloom, my birthday was ON peak iris bloom. So that was cool.

[chrissieq]

I'm about to turn 60 and my perfect birthday is to have both my kids and their partners here (done) along with my DH with a day off (done) and go to the MN State Fair and eat/drink whatever I want (within reason) for all of us.

DH feels like I "have to have" some sort of a bash. I did, at 50, have a small group of family and friends to a very nice dinner at a lovely restaurant (significant $$ but celebration worthy) and had a great time. Not feeling it 10 years later. Don't want to hurt his feelings but his 60th is about 8 months later so we can do it then!!

[pinkytoe]

Dh and I were born nine hours apart in late September so we have started a tradition of taking 7-10 days every fall during that time and visiting some place far away and beautiful. That way there are no expectations on the part of family or friends. We save up all year to make each trip and enjoy the planning too. The last three and the one coming up will be in the Colorado or New Mexico mountains (different areas each time). The first (when we turned 50) was a stay at a beautiful cottage on the Oregon coast. When we returned, DD had strung balloons and banners across the dining room with Welcome back, Now you're 50. It is fun to look back and remember each birthday trip.

[Float On]

I love my birthday - and I love spending it alone. Really. My best birthdays have been little mini-retreats all by myself.

[Jamielaine]

Well I for one do not enjoy my birthday since I have gotten a little older. Not because of my age. I don't have any age hang ups. I just feel like there is a lot of pressure for my family to buy me things and for me to overly love whatever they buy. It is kind of stressful for me actually. I would prefer a card with a little cash for me to buy whatever I pick out with no guilt and a meal that I do not have to prepare or clean up after. That's it. I don't want a big deal made out of it. It's kind of uncomfortable.

[RosieTR]

I usually take the day off work and DH too, and go for a hike followed by a nice dinner. I'm a bit of a foodie, so there's always a different restaurant I would like to try that is kind of expensive and makes food I lack the time and talent for. This past year DH had a big birthday (mid-Dec) and we rented a little cabin in the mountains which we snowshoed to. Most years when we aren't in a cabin I make him a special, once-a-year somewhat PITA dessert, an apricot-almond torte with almond ice cream because he isn't a huge fan of cake, but it was too much time and no good way to bring it. In that case, I sneaked several local craft beers into my backpack without DH noticing, and he's pretty happy with some beer, his wife and nobody else around for miles. That was nice, though for me (late Oct) I'd prefer better food for my birthday than what one can bring in a backpack. I have one particular type of cake I really like and I want that, so I often have dessert when we're out to eat, then the special cake some other day. This then runs into Halloween so it's good I also like to hike!

[Gardenarian]

Well I for one do not enjoy my birthday since I have gotten a little older. Not because of my age. I don't have any age hang ups. I just feel like there is a lot of pressure for my family to buy me things and for me to overly love whatever they buy. It is kind of stressful for me actually. I would prefer a card with a little cash for me to buy whatever I pick out with no guilt and a meal that I do not have to prepare or clean up after. That's it. I don't want a big deal made out of it. It's kind of uncomfortable.

Yes, Jamielane! (and a big welcome to the forum!)
The whole thing feels so artificial to me. I end up resenting it when they just want me to have fun. Nuts.

[chrissieq]

So now we are days closer to my birthday - I agreed to a family party (partially cause DS is bringing home his girlfriend and I would like family to meet her) and my niece is coming home with her son for the fair (her husband is in Germany for work for 3 months) so besides immediate family I am including my BFF and her family (cause she is like another sister to me and her kids call me Auntie). It should be a great time.

Here's the rub - DH is super-stressed at work. I am newly (2 official days) retired. I ordered cake(s) from a local bakery. Arranged to borrow crock pots from neighbors to keep the ribs (agreed upon menu) warm. Made a birthday banner (my sweet 11 year old niece and I are within a few days of each other birthday wise). Now DH is upset because I took "control" over the party. Feels like he isn't doing what he "should" be doing.

It's a birthday not a state event!! We basically agreed to end a discussion of who is at fault - truly I don't see any fault here - I think it is internal with him but on the other hand, I don't want him beating himself up over the whole thing.

I've decided that I will enjoy the dinner with family, the fair with kids, their significant others, and DH and not get sucked into the "should haves". Hope he can let go of it but if not, really not my issue. Wish us luck!!

[razz]

Wish you luck and enjoyment of the company of all your family and friends on your birthday, Chrissie.
After discussing it with daughters, it is agreed that a non-birthday celebrant such as I am, will have one big bash that will be a big birthday and celebration of life and gratitude within the next few years. I have a winter birthday which has its limitations so it will be sometime in the fall and be a BBQ.

[chrissieq]

Birthday is over! Had the party (fun though super hot here in MN) and served ribs, beans, potato salad, corn muffins, and cake along with beverages. Got fabulous cakes from a local bakery which made me laugh with their amazingly crazy decorations - and the leftovers are sliced and in the freezer. DH was totally freaked about a gift for me - what else do I want/need but family around us - agreed to a Kindle as a gift with Amazon Prime also. Am going to order Amazon Prime tomorrow (cause I really want to check it out for the free 30 day period) but will go to Best Buy to see if a Kindle is something I really want/need. With both an iPhone, iPad and iMac maybe I don't have a use for a kindle but we are going on a train trip to DC in late October so maybe I will order it pre-trip and return it if it's not what I expected. Just so happy to have both my kids and their partners here celebrating with us!!