View Full Version : The Love languages

iris lilies
11-29-13, 9:09pm
I wonder if people who identify with SL values tend to not be Language of Love=presents people?

I just dread this upcoming holiday wher eI know I will receive at least a dozen pieces 'o crap that will have to go straight to Goodwill or to the dumpster. Not from DH--he is very sensible about presents and that is one reason why we are compatible--neither of us like stuff as love language. This year I asked for a pair of leather gloves, that's all I want. And I know that he will get them.

What is your Love Language? I think that we are Acts of Service, DH and I. The 5 are

Quality time
Words of affirmation
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

11-29-13, 9:24pm
I think ours is Quality Time, although I'm easily swayed by Physical Touch. Don't judge me!!

11-29-13, 9:44pm
I had to research what "love languages" was all about and did the quiz at http://www.polyu.edu.hk/sao/publications/emagazine/issue133/love%20language2.pdf
Quality time is definitely my language as the quiz results indicated.

11-29-13, 10:08pm
Yeah, Alan.

11-29-13, 10:30pm
Think mine are all five! LOL!

11-29-13, 11:19pm
Mine is gifts of service. My DH's is touch. We have a lot of fun together....��

11-30-13, 6:41am
Neither of us are gifts people. We tend to get each other small items to support our hobbies or consumables.

11-30-13, 9:02am
I came out high on Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Low on Receiving Gifts and VERY low on physical touch. (Gee, I generally like hugs, but I guess I don't see "I love you" in them) Interesting quiz! I'm going to see if any of my kids want to play while they're down here. If we all come out low on Receiving Gifts, that will be good ammunition for cutting back on our typical Christmas gift frenzy.

11-30-13, 10:22am
Gifts of Service here. We won't talk about where the others ranked... :|(

iris lilies
11-30-13, 11:04am
I love it when DH DOES stuff for me. Like--he is an excellent Finder. When I can't find my glasses, he will help me look and he will find them. When we go to antique stores I will tell him what I'm looking for and he goes off and finds it. Once in a while he will find the pets when they are missing, although I am really better at that, even when I'm in panic mode because one of them is missing. Sometimes the DOING results in a handmade practical gift and that's fine because it is something I need. I always think that anyone can go to the mall and buy crap, there is nothing special about that, but DH can build stuff to custom specs that will fill a need at our house and that is more of an Act of Service than a Gift in the Love Language list.

11-30-13, 12:45pm
I love giving gifts, particularly handmade, hand-assembled, or particularly well thought out ones. Also gifts of service and encouragement.

Gifts of service and quality time delight me. I like getting practical gifts; I treat myself to the frivolous kind all the time, and I'm very particular.

Hugs? Unless you're related to me or sleeping with me, you'll get the stiff arm. And affirmations just make me uncomfortable.

11-30-13, 1:16pm
quality time is how I express I care about people

11-30-13, 1:21pm
Iris Lillies, my DH is very much like your DH. He's a doer, a maker, a builder. I don't think I appreciate him as much as I should, but I DO, really. I don't like gushing because it sounds so insincere, so I'm more quiet there, but he does know I love it (and him) for feeding my "form follows function" need. I don't like things that don't work for the purpose they're supposedly intended, but rather look the current "style". Ugh. But I could do without all that, if I had to, since the other two are there ...

EDIT: And hugs are #1. I hug everyone. Virginia Satir says you need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth. We hug a lot. >8) <3

12-2-13, 5:02pm
Mine is physical touch....hubby's is words of affirmation. I made him read this book when we started seeing each other.

ETA---After reading Jane's response I thought I should add: I answered this in the context of a marriage, which is what I think the book is all about. The physical touch I refer to is from DH. Not so much a hugger outside of family.

12-2-13, 5:11pm
I never heard of this - mine came up as words of affirmation.

12-2-13, 5:16pm
Oatmeal and coffee brought to me in bed speak of love...and I so appreciate these two offerings. I am not a morning person.

iris lilies
12-2-13, 8:59pm
I never heard of this - mine came up as words of affirmation.

You don't work in a public library . ;)

12-4-13, 12:48pm
For me it's definitely quality time. Oh, and physical touch with DH and some friends. I'd rather go for a walk or do some activity than get into gift-giving.

DH's seems to be acts of service - he'll always do things for me, even if I can do them myself but am just too lazy :)

My mother's one is most certainly gift-giving. She won't express her feelings in any other way, much to my consternation!

12-4-13, 1:31pm
The "catch" if you will, of this book is --- understanding your partner's love language, not just your own. So that, even if it doesn't come naturally, you must try to appeal to your partner's love language in effect fulfilling their needs. For example, I do not have a great need for gifts, but if my partner thinks that's the way to my heart (because maybe it's his), he's barking up the wrong tree, wasting his energy, and we're both frustrated. If he understands my love language is quality time, he will make the effort to give me that, even if his own love language is receiving gifts. And my responsibility is coming up with an occasional surprise treat or gift for him, to make him feel loved. Even if that is contrary to my needs.