Life Challenges

[TxZen]

What do you do when you just feel overwhelmed and extremely challenged and frustrated? I am not great at articulating what I am feeling but honestly today was so hurt. I decided to open my heart and confide in someone about my plans to change jobs, careers, etc. I explained that yes, I would be making less than half of what I am now and am very aware of the impact on my family and life in general. She proceeded to tell me that I am ungrateful and I am basically stupid. This is my year of being honest and I will not take abuse in any form from anyone, so I got up and left, just like that. I was done. But it’s weighing on my heart. I am so tired of the pain and the people judging me and making me feel like I am idiot. I am struggling here. L How do you stay positive? Thanks.

[Teacher Terry]

I think you did the right thing! I have finally started to eliminate people from my life if they do not bring value/understanding/acceptance even if we have been friends for a long time. It is your families decision what you can or cannot afford & no one else. People get scared when others make big changes and often react negatively. Sometimes they are jealous that you are living the dream when they are afraid to make changes, etc. Once I started to let go of people that did not really value me I made friends with others that do. I read 37 things that people regret when they are dying & I was surprised that one of them was remaining friends with people that they should have let go. It was more painful to continue in the long run. When I retired 2 years early at 58 & started my own consulting many people tried to talk me out of it. The fact was that my hubby & I knew what we could or could not afford. One longtime friend even left me a long message on my work phone telling me I was making a big mistake even though she & her hubby were always telling me for years I should be self-employed instead of worrying about earning a pension. I think they were jealous that we each would have a small pension for some security which made it easier to take the leap. Just worry about making you & your family happy. You will develop deeper friendships along the way. Take care >8)

[TxZen]

I am going to quit my corporate healthcare gig to practice, learn and teach yoga and get my bachelor’s in population health. I am going to be 40 this year. People act like I am so old or that I am crazy to leave a well paying but horrible boss lady job to teach yoga and study “carrots” (This is what she said to me). It’s not about money, it’s about being happy. It is so hard to believe, even at my age and all the things I have been through, that people could still be so cruel. People have said to me that this isn’t Eat Pray Love and Julia is not going to be playing me. It’s like my dream is a false dream. Does one have to sit behind a desk and have a “real” job to be considered in life as successful or even acceptable? Yoga is teaching me a lot about living my truth but some days, it’s just so hard.

[Teacher Terry]

I obtained my education later in life too because I was raising 3 boys. Someone told me I should not go to college-too old-I should just do clerical work because it was well paid and I had experience-ugh! Are you married or is this your decision to make alone? Do you have kids you need to support? These are just some things to think about. I am sure that you have figured out if you can afford to do this or not and if you can -why not do it? You only have one life to live. Besides you can always go back to a regular job if you need too. If you never take risks you will not know what your life could have been. If you have carefully planned and can afford it I do not see a reason not to do it.

[TxZen]

Married, 7 year old son, normal bills, a little debt (almost paid off) GI BILL to help with college and training, live simple, almost minimalist. :) Yep!!! We are ready!!! : )Thanks Teacher Terry.

[new2oregon]

GreenMama, follow your heart not what other people think. Your friend might have opened her mouth before thinking and things might settle down and you can still be friends. Sometimes you have to move on. Its never to late to find something you enjoy. Teaching yoga might be good for you. You are so right its not about money its about being happy. I wish more women thought like that, really does a woman need 70 different pairs of shoes.

[iris lilies]

It sounds as though you are in a good place to launch yourself into something different. Good luck!

[Teacher Terry]

Greenmama, you have thought this out and are ready. That is awesome! I was never sorry about going to college & doing a job that I really loved. I actually have my Mom to thank for encouraging me to follow my dreams. I will really look forward to your updates on your new journey:cool:

[Jilly]

You go, baby!

[sweetana3]

People who follow their own drummer and dreams are threatening to those who feel trapped and cannot see any way out. These people lash out. They feel they have no control and will do most anything to get it back. Family can do this as well as friends.

If you have carefully considered your decision and are willing to accept any consequences whether good or bad, go for it. Stand up and be positive. It sounds pretty fantastic to me.

[Float On]

You are at the perfect age to make things happen! You don't need negative people around you so I'd step back from those kinds of 'friends'. I'm about to turn 47 and still trying to decide what I want to do next.

[reader99]

Jealousy, possibly sub-conscious jealousy probably had a lot to do with your friend's reaction. And fear. The year I left my programming job for a customer service job only one person I talked to could even grasp the concept. That might have been the point at which I gradually stopped telling people about things I planned to do until after it was done, if then.

[SteveinMN]

I am so tired of the pain and the people judging me and making me feel like I am idiot. I am struggling here. L How do you stay positive?
GreenMama, your decision to place quality of life above quantity of live threatens the natural order of things in America. Our entire economy is predicated on consumerism -- more, more, more -- and on the need for people to put their noses ever closer to the wheel. Don't let that bother you or change the decision which is right for you.

There's an old saying that no one can make you feel bad without your permission. If you know you are on the right track for yourself -- in your gut, if not entirely on a spreadsheet or with every detail in place -- you should honor your conviction by hearing the negatives from others but discarding them if they don't fit your goals and beliefs. People will judge you, for all of their own reasons. Let them. You may find that some friendships will wane because what held you together -- a workplace situation, vocation, etc. -- has dissolved. You will make new friends.

Don't be discouraged. I am happier than I've ever been in my life. I may lose that by myself, but I won't let people take that from me.

[CathyA]

Sometimes we turn to other people to express ourselves and we hope they will validate our feelings. But sometimes it backfires. We all have different hopes and dreams and we can't always judge their "rightness" by other peoples' reactions/opinions. Good luck to you, and follow your heart!

[sylvia]

The beauty of honesty is it shows the strength of your character and the how genuine the other person is. Its sad I get that from my own mother who has told me incredibly hurtful things and saw nothing wrong with it. Its who she is and you just close your heart get up and leave. Dont give up on being honest you are strong and courageous and one day it will pay off.Go for your dreams they are yours and live them. If everyone lived their dreams life would be so much better.Just by posting about your dreams you are encouraging others.

[catherine]

People act like I am so old or that I am crazy to leave a well paying but horrible boss lady job to teach yoga and study “carrots” (This is what she said to me). It’s not about money, it’s about being happy.



I was 46 when I asked the president of the company I had been typing for if I could become a market research analyst. I had 0 training. Other entry-level analysts were half my age. I did just fine. I was 56 when I decided to go off on my own and start my own market research consultancy. I had $75k in the bank. Seems like nothing, and it become literally nothing when the recession hit and I had my family financial meltdown which I've described her ad nauseum. I still did fine.

You will be fine, too. Ignore other people. They are projecting their own fears of failure which have nothing to do with you.

[rodeosweetheart]

I never, ever, ever talk about my plans and dreams with people like this. With anyone, really, other than my husband and my children. No one else seems to be reliably supportive.

[TxZen]

I never, ever, ever talk about my plans and dreams with people like this. With anyone, really, other than my husband and my children. No one else seems to be reliably supportive.


10000% agree!! I have come to realize I just have to live my way and screw 'em!!! :)

[TxZen]

OH and here is an awesome update...shocked this thread is almost 2 years old...Still working on yoga...getting there... :)

I switched to teaching and am loving it!!! And we are about to take another huge leap in lifestyle. Can't wait!! Bring it on!!!

[sylvia]

So awesome!! True progress takes time and sometimes you start here but finish there but the result is life changing and you learn sooo much along the way.It took me 10 years to declutter and simplify. I learned as I went it was odd and new, no one to model after. But now Im striving for minimalism and who knows where that will lead.I want to be a childrens book illustrator, maybe I will be just not ready or not my time yet. Im enjoying my new baby and teen sons. Life is sweet.Actually there are basic levels of need , food shelter intimacy and once those are cover you move up in the pyramid of acheiving more complicated and personal needs. It think its Pavlovs basic human needshttps://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/60/Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg/2000px-Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg.png

[sylvia]

http://www.timvandevall.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Maslows-Hierarchy-of-Needs.jpg

[sylvia]

Simple living version should be starting with clutterfree, then debt free, community /family orientated , independent , happy.What would your simple living version be?

[frugal-one]

First on my list would be debt free.

[sylvia]

http://www.moneyreasons.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/FinancialPyramid_MoneyReasons.png

[sylvia]

Im still on step one maybe two.