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I go to the scene of a suicide at least once a week. Not long ago I had three in one day. There has been a growing concern because more often than not (lately) they have been children. I don't have an answer but it seems like people are feeling more and more hopeless and disconnected.
I said to a friend of mine once how selfish I thought suicide was. And she said, "The people who commit suicide are in incredible pain and that's all that matters." I hadn't realized that her brother had committed suicide; if I had, I wouldn't have been so insensitive. But two years later I had to take 2 days out of my vacation in Vermont to go to Princeton to her daughter's funeral: she had committed suicide. The daughter sent a note FedEx to her mother from a hotel in northern New Jersey that simply said "I'm sorry, Mom. Take care of [her dog]." Her mother panicked, but by the time she put the pieces together the NJ State Police called her and told her that her daughter had committed suicide at age 33. She had been recently separated from her husband but had a history of depression.
Then there's DDIL whose husband committed suicide after she told him she was marrying my son. I can't imagine the burden he placed on her young shoulders. He also had struggled with depression.
I try to justify fast suicide (guns, hangings) and slow suicides (substance abuse) as simply existential. Just as in nature, some things don't thrive, some people find it very difficult to thrive in the environment they exist in. It's the only way I can avoid feeling survivor guilt, or feeling that there's something that I personally could do or could have done to prevent it.
You are right.Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplemind
I agree. Our environment is messed up, the world is screwed. And if you couple that with some personal problems or health problems, then suicide looks like a very reasonable option.Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
It's often not a reasonable option. The euthanasia cases? Yes. Severe lifetime depression that doesn't respond to any med, therapy, or lifestyle change - maybe. Being utterly stuck in intractably bad social conditions - perhaps.
But it's often not warranted (of course as many a philosopher said to even pose the question, Hamlet's you know, and ask whether it is reasonable or not is neither here nor there). It is one's right sure, but it often doesn't make a lot of sense if the pain stood a decent chance of coming to an end. But sometimes it does because sometimes the pain is not going to end.
Life of course can be very painful, that's a given. More as has always been more so for the slaves, the lower class here, the global poor, etc.. That is pain. Is it that hard to be human? For who? Some are relatively immune and may not know pain regularly, but none are completely immune (I mean anyone could get cancer etc. afterall).
Bourdain's suicide shows that jetting around the world is not enough to make a person happy.
Bourdain's suicide was a tragedy. I loved his books and am so sorry there won't be any more.
I’ll tell you what is selfish—killing yourself and taking others with you. Screw that, it is evil.
Our young friend with mental illnes has threatened suicide and she says “ I'll drive off a cliff and take (her young son) with me.”
Ugh, reminiscent of the film Dear Zachary.
Catherine, you are so right. That is one reason I decided not to continue doing therapy because other people’s intense pain is horrible. A very complicated problem with no easy answers.
I am only guessing that when you are that depressed it is hard to know that feelings and situations can change for the better over time. So many teens here killing themselves...so sad. One of the perks of being an older person now is that all my emotions/thoughts have sort of leveled out. I can see now that we often create our own misery...needlessly.