Adoption. Is it in you? Could you adopt? (If you had to, if it came to adopting)?

Jennipurrr. How wonderful about your mom and her siblings being adopted! Re: not loving an adopted child as much as a birth child I struggle with too. When my two boys were just days into being with us, I remember sitting with the youngest one in the middle of the night, he would wake nightly and cry and scream. I'd wrap him up in a baby blanket and rock him for an hour or more until he fell asleep, then return him to his crib. He and his older brother were instantly mine! In fact the baby was (more or less) my daughters and my project. He (I think) was abused and neglected more than his older brother was, so because of that he got a fair shake more attention at the start. Subtle attention may I add, because we didn't want the older one feeling left out or anything. i.e. Sneaking baby into ones bed in the middle of the night when he'd awake, a little extra holding time and comforting, and so on. The youngest was roughly 16 months old at the time.

Redfox. How beautiful! I see such a plus in parents who know how to love on both sides of the spectrum. (Those who give birth naturally and love, and those who adopt or foster and love). Either way it's the way life should be. I would have been completely and totally open to raising step-children had circumstances worked out that way. I honestly believe I could love any child unconditionally.

Hi Weston, just caught your post after entering mine! So nice to hear from you. :) Absolutely, I wholeheartedly agree. I can't remember exactly per se when I made the transition from feeling like I was simply caring for the boys, and when I actually felt I was, indeed, their mother 100%, but I do remember the transition and feeling when it spun full circle. It was the greatest feeling of all!

I was doing the supper dishes one evening and the house was quiet. I was (like I always am when washing dishes by hand) in my own little dream world, then suddenly I felt two tiny little hands gentle wrap around one of my thighs. It was my youngest and with soother in mouth, he just glommed onto my leg and stood there looking up at me. So I picked him up and held him for a moment, then sat him down on the counter right beside where I was doing dishes, and carried on washing and talking to him. He knew who loved him! :)

Beautifully written Mrs-M.

My two older kids are well into their thirties now. The fact that I first saw my older daughters when one was walking and one was in a stroller doesn't make it any less of a miracle than seeing their sisters for the first time in the delivery room.

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Originally Posted by Mrs-M

I've had countless discussions with people over the prospect of adoption and have received a mixed bag of reviews. Some say they would love to adopt, others mentioned that they could never take in someone else's children, while others quickly took to the top of the fence and straddled it, their eyes wide open and round, like dinner plates!

So, what are your thoughts on adoption? Just so everyone knows, our youngest two, both boys, are adopted.

Just as a sort of side-note to this topic, I realize there's a special kind of love that a parent (or parents) need to possess in order to make the adoption process work, and ensure it's as a fulfilling process as adoption is meant to be, but I'm interested in hearing from you guys. (Your side/take on the matter).

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I haven't read all the other posts yet so will just give my personal choice. But yes, I could definetly adopt. I have thought alot it about over the years since I was unable to have kids of my own (periods stopped at age 30 because of over exercise, under weight and never came back once I put on weight - sort of a self-inflicted early menopause). But I decided that, even though I liked kids alot - especially babies and toddlers - I just didn't have that big of a desire to have them. Not even a big desire to have my own biological kids. I have never really had the big baby urge that other's seem to have and that hasn't changed. So I would have happily adopted if I had wanted kids and couldn't have them. And while I believe I would have loved them as completely as I would have loved a biological child - at least I hope I would - I don't know if that would have been the case. I think I would have loved them, but I believe that there is a strong bond formed during pregnancy and birth that even an adopted newborn (and how many people can adopt newborns) might not be able to compare with.

So true Weston. It's funny, because I did have more than a few fleeting thoughts as to how my own children were going to warm to the babies, even though they are good kids and all, and not that I would have allowed or tolerated any dissent, but still, it did play into the scheme of things (in my own mind) prior to the actual move-in.

All went well! My youngest at the time was just 5, so him and the toddler hit it off so well, and DS tried his darnedest to include the baby in everything, but it was my daughters who made me sooo proud! Taking the two out for walks in their strollers (daily), to the park to run and play, and helping out with all the baby-care tasks at home like regular mothers! Changing, feeding, bedtime stories, you name it, they did it.

That for me was the greatest joy of all! Just knowing the love and affection they got! And, the love and affection they got from immediate family too. So important.

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Originally Posted by Iris lily

Well, we are dog parents, and have a lot of adopted and foster dogs, so we get our parental instincts served that way. Tonight I was so glad that DH "put the girls to bed" because I was tired. It's only about 1/20 of the trouble as with children, yet, it's all of the trouble that I want! ha ha.

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Ha Ha - that's me!! After "raising" 8 adopted pets (2 of which were "forced adoptions" when my Dad died and I inherited his dogs) in the last 10 years, I'm done! Love the little buggers but when are they going to find jobs, get their own apts, and move out :-)! Oh well, at least I don't have to do their laundry.

Hi Spartana! Just caught your post after entering mine! (Gosh, that sure is happening a lot with me lately!!! :) I know it's difficult to say for sure how any adoptive parent will react to and respond to an adopted child, and whether or not they'll accept them as 100% their very own, complete with as close a bonding relationship had the child been birthed naturally, but it's amazing at how well you do warm up to a child at the baby stage. Changing them 8-10 times a day, feeding them, bathing them, talking to them, holding them, hugging them, it really makes all the difference (I think) in the end result.

I'm sorry to hear of the condition that prevented you from having a natural birth. P.S. Yes, I also got a real kick out of Iris Lily's post! Leave it to Iris to come up with comical stuff like that! :)

I was interested in adopting but after three of our own, we couldn't afford it. I would not adopt out of the country though; there are too many children here in the US who could use homes. I would have no problem adopting a child of a different race.

Hi Glo! I'm really loving hearing from everybody! Yes, expense is definitely a barrier. We really (to be perfectly honest) couldn't afford it like we would have wanted to afford it, but my simple and frugal ways helped offset typical household baby expense costs, which helped free up added monies in other areas and for other things. Re: race, I'm with you on that, I too would have no problem adopting a child of any race.

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Originally Posted by Mrs-M

Changing them 8-10 times a day, feeding them, bathing them

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Oh, now I remember why I didn't have the "Baby Urge" :0!!
I wonder how people feel about a single person (man or woman) adopting a child. I know many adoption places - here in the US and abroad - don't allow single to adopt. What do ya'all think? Say someone like me - single, childless, financially stable homeowner of modest means who is retired and can be a full time parent? Also what about an older person adopting. Do you think that there should be a cut off age? Is 50 too old for a single person to adopt an infant?