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bae - Wow, 40 years. I am sure that is one of the most painful things in your life you had to go through. Thank you so much for letting me know about the book. I for sure will be looking into it.

Bae - I for sure will be checking this one out. It sounds pretty intriguing. Thank you so much for letting me know about it.

Tammy - That looks like it would be a really good book. I for sure need to learn more about boundaries. I have always been a doormat and too agreeable to everything. Thank you for the...

razz - I think so. I know I had such a difficult marriage without much romance and after 45 years someone said they wanted me and loved me I was so shocked and enamored I didn't even stop to think. ...

Tammy - I think that is what I really wanted to hear. I wanted someone to validate what I had been thinking. i thought I was thinking wrong so didn't bring it up. You just gave me the kick in the...

iris lilies - I like that phrase also “ toddlers engaged in parallel play." I had never looked at it that way before and it makes perfect sense. My husband and I used to watch T.V. in separate...

Gardnr - That is encouraging to hear about your relationship with your husband. I always feel rejected when he doesn't call me or initiate contact. I am alway thinking "you say you love me and want...

ejchase - Yes, I was thinking that also. It isn't often you find someone in their 60's who hasn't been in at least one serious relationship. And I really need to take it slow. He is a very...

razz - I love the Gary Smalley link. Thank you so much! And you are so right. I still have a lot of years of baggage to go through and I am not thinking clearly. I do value different qualities in...

Tammy - Gosh I am glad I posted on here...lol. I need people to slap some sense into me. Unfortunately when you are going through a grief period you feel alone and someone tells you they love you...

Yppej - He has asked to come here and I told him no, I would rather go there first. Mainly because I want to see if it is a place I would like to live in.

Yes, health is a very big...

Sweetana3 - Actually, the location is one reason I would like to go...lol. I figure if it doesn't work out with him at least I will have the good weather :) I am in Houston and have never gotten...

You both are making me see this objectively and that is what I needed. My thinking is really muddled on this. Love always clouds good judgement. I appreciate so much your taking time to respond to...

I think that sounds pretty wise and what I should be doing. Just you saying get to know "the older him" makes me stop and think. I know I am a completely different person than when I was 20 and...

I haven't been on here in quite some time. Not sure if I have posted since my husband passed away about a year and 3 months ago. We had a very difficult marriage. I was the one that was the main...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByfFurjQDb0

I heard this song shortly after my husband passed away unexpectedly a year ago. All the words were perfect for our relationship. I must have listened...

I am so very sorry for your loss! I lost my husband in October also. He had been sick for about three years with a lung disease that we were told was caused by heart disease . Towards the end a lung...

I'm not sure if I am posting this correctly. I mean for it to go under Simplemind's post.
I love that quote "Feeling guilty is not the same as being guilty." I think that is a lot of my problem -...

Thank you Tybee, what a great idea! I know I have a lot of my own things I need to "burn" and pray over also. Yes, it's time to let the other turtle shell go and start trying to maintain my own.

Very complex.....hahaha Me on the other hand very slow thinking and a plodder like a turtle :) It takes me a while to catch on to things....sigh

happystuff - I think that would be the hardest thing to go through in life - to lose a child. That is something I would never get over. I am so sorry. I think that is what I will be doing is get...

I guess there is more to this story that happened that probably shouldn't be told on this thread, but not sure how to explain why I asked the original question. Yes, he was a burden for many years...

Thank you so much Gardner. I like the idea of keeping one box "forever" and also not having to keep things that were valued by him and not me. His bottle of "Carmel air" was the first thing I...

Thank you Teacher Terry. Yes, that is so very true, we are not our stuff. The more I get rid of, the more I realize this statement.

Chicken lady - What a terrific idea! I would never have thought of doing that. Thanks, I will think about a way of reusing some of his things. That is so creative to come of with that :)