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    Totally! during the school year. dh says...

    Totally!

    during the school year.

    dh says “let’s do xyz” and I say “I’m exhausted, these are the things that happened today...” or “I still have two hours of planning and prep work.” Or “I have...
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    Well, with school out I should have been working...

    Well, with school out I should have been working more outside and on pottery, but somehow I have shifted into the house.

    i haven’t been swimming, and this week dh has been taking vacation and we...
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    My grandfather starting smoking at age 11. When...

    My grandfather starting smoking at age 11. When he died, he was housebound on oxygen for emphysema. He was also an alcoholic.

    his death certificate says “heart attack” because that was the...
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    I would have done pretty well putting the labels...

    I would have done pretty well putting the labels in the actual cause of death chart, but I would have ranked diabetes above road incidents and I do not know what “lower respiratory disease” is.
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    Mschrisgo2, I have not. It looks like it might...

    Mschrisgo2, I have not. It looks like it might be related to the renaissance mind concept.

    Kappydell, yes, I am wondering if I should make an effort to be more social because somebody wrote a...
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    It’s the pinnacle of Mazlow’s hierarchy of needs....

    It’s the pinnacle of Mazlow’s hierarchy of needs. It refers to reaching your full potential in all areas of life.

    i’m guessing IL’s standards aren’t really that high.
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    Ironically, I am usually pretty good at picking...

    Ironically, I am usually pretty good at picking up on the silently judging the hell out of me.

    although, that may be because I assume it is the default position, and simply wait for it to become...
  8. Well, at least your dad has an option... I...

    Well, at least your dad has an option...

    I believe hoarding has a genetic and neurological components. It has been linked to trauma, and to OCD, but I don’t know that either are causal. I can’t...
  9. Hoarding is often a response to trauma. ...

    Hoarding is often a response to trauma.

    Ultralight, you know you can expect the house to keep getting worse in the absence of intervention, right?
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    Forums are different than real friends in what...

    Forums are different than real friends in what way?

    i do much better with people on forums.

    People on forums understand that I cannot read their tone of voice or facial expression.
    real life...
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    Teacher Terry, I missed your post. so, all the...

    Teacher Terry, I missed your post.

    so, all the friends didn’t help. But she didn’t invite them over....

    so maybe it's the inviting over.

    which is actually the optimal friend experience for...
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    i have a thing about counseling. I have talked...

    i have a thing about counseling. I have talked about it here before.

    intellectually I understand exactly what is happening with me and why. I still have to work through it and it is still hard...
  13. Ultralight, I am truly sorry. Have you ever...

    Ultralight, I am truly sorry.

    Have you ever read Digging Out? It is intended for family members of hoarders. I am currently reading it to try to help work on communication with dh. I’m not...
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    Also, I am a keeper AND a hoarder. Like...

    Also, I am a keeper AND a hoarder. Like ultralite being a foodie AND a binge eater. There is nothing wrong with being a keeper.

    conversations like this are why I don’t try to be more social. ...
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    If caring for you would be a burden to your...

    If caring for you would be a burden to your children, I am glad you will not ask them to do that.

    again, I didn’t ask. I was told. And again, plans change.

    i refuse to dog sit for more than a...
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    Yes, that is hoarder processing. But it doesn’t...

    Yes, that is hoarder processing. But it doesn’t sound like your problem is severe.

    ONE of my fears is waste. Sentimental stuff is also a huge problem. And “thrift”. And prepping for what if,...
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    Teacher Terry, you are falling into the “everyone...

    Teacher Terry, you are falling into the “everyone is me” trap again. (What is the point of a couch with removable cushions if you aren’t going to build forts? - the first time my heart grandson...
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    Ok, I do have friends, but here is how my...

    Ok, I do have friends, but here is how my friendships work - people show up at my house, and I either stop what I am doing and visit with them, involve them in what I am doing and visit with them, or...
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    I don’t have friends. i don’t want to hang...

    I don’t have friends.

    i don’t want to hang out.

    last week, I saw a coworker through a store window - I deliberately went in, said hi, and talked to her about a mutual student for about 10...
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    If my spouse dies, emotionally things will be...

    If my spouse dies, emotionally things will be horrible. I cannot imagine any depth or breadth of friendship that would change that. I have given my dh strict instructions not to die. The...
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    CathyA, I am happy not being social, although I...

    CathyA, I am happy not being social, although I am not happy dealing with anxiety when I have to be social.

    but I am wondering if I should try harder to be social, because of reading about the...
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    I read your edited post. i gave birth to...

    I read your edited post.

    i gave birth to acquaintances! LOL

    seriously though, the only time I would ask one of my kids to take me to a medical procedure would be if it were essential and...
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    I am now wondering, “take me to my...”what? ...

    I am now wondering, “take me to my...”what?

    when I got bleach in my eye, I called the mother of dd’s best friend to take me to urgent care. Because she lives less than 10 miles away and I don’t...
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    Every year we get together with our best friends...

    Every year we get together with our best friends of 23 years. Alternating houses. The two families take turns hosting. With in-laws and their grandchild, we are now 17 people. Usually at least an...
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    I am “socially isolated”

    I’m reading through a book on dealing with hoarding disorder, and it talked about how hoarders tend to be socially isolated. So I read through the checklist on how to determine if your hoarder is...
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