Why do women get so bitchy when in a group?

[awakenedsoul]

I'm getting such a kick out of these responses. Dhiana, I think you're right about t.v. and the sarcasm. I haven't had t.v. in a while, so it makes me bristle. I was just raised so differently. I got my mouth washed out with soap for calling my brother "stupid." Never did that again. You're right about the whining and negativity. Some of the women go for just that purpose. I left another knitting group because the leader used it to vent nonstop. She would complain about her kids, schedule, money problems, etc. the entire time. It was so draining. I talked to her about it and she said, "Listen, this is my therapy."

Float On, I think this woman is around 50 or older. Most of the women who go to this knitting group are at least 40...that's considered young. It's still not okay with me.

Tradd, You crack me up. She's usually really nice. She seemed shocked that I was offended. She looks like a partyer...kind of an aging hippie type.

Now that I think of it, one of the younger girls who works there is super sarcastic, too. She acts like she thinks it's cute or funny. I wrote a post on Ravelry about it, and she's cleaned up her mouth around me. The last time I bought some llama/silk yarn there she practically yelled, "Oh, you're making another sweater for your SELF? How nice...another sweater for your SELF!!! It was unbelievable. I can buy the yarn on line cheaper and not have to deal with her mouth. It's really bad for sales. I spent $1,000. at that shop last year. (I was new, so I bought sets of needles, took classes on making socks and sweaters, etc...) Not smart of her...

[mtnlaurel]

Sounds to me like that yarn shop could use a bouncer

Tradd- you win the "you made me belly laugh" award from me today!

[Tradd]

Sounds to me like that yarn shop could use a bouncer

Tradd- you win the "you made me belly laugh" award from me today!

Glad to amuse you! I have no patience for stupid people. A.favorite saying applies here: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes." If you're an idiot, you deserve to get a taste of your own medicine.

[Spartana]

Sadly, "bitch" has become the new way of saying "buddy" or "friend" or "girlfriend". I hear it all the time, "I'm just hangin' with my bitches." Just like "awesome" there are certain words that those of us over age 45 just shouldn't use. Others over 45 may not understand the current 'definition' of a word.

That's true. I do see that a lot but usually between friends and people who have similar senses of humor. One girl I play volleyball with always says "yo bitches" with a smile on her face whenever she shows up to play (this is with a group of 20, 30 and 40 year old SAHM's who call themselves "The Housewives From Hell"). I never really gave it any thought as it just her way (we all make pretty bawdy jokes while we play and do some trash talking - again very humorously amongst people we know well). But if someone I didn't know well said it directly to my face meaning it as an insult that's a different story (where's the icon from steam coming out of ears :-)!).

[Alan]

[awakenedsoul]

Yeah, this woman is a SAHM who lives in Calalbasis. She has a wealthy husband, a housekeeper, and three kids. She doesn't have to worry about money and seems pretty carefree. Her daughters are ten yr. old twins, so she's probably around women that age. Maybe she's younger than I thought. I've had the same close friends for thirty years. They are so different than these t.v. "housewives". One was a principal ballerina with New York City Ballet. Another was a dancer on Broadway who also directed the Rockettes. The women I danced with in Broadway shows were so much fun. We got along really well. My close friends are all very successful, artistic, sensitive, spiritual people. It's like a different species. My teachers really influenced me, too. They were extremely successful, tactful, kind women. Now that I think of it, they were divorced. They had trouble with marriage. One was asst. to Gene Kelly, Jerome Robbins, and Hermes Pan. She worked on all the old movies at MGM. The other was a principal at Royal Ballet and a master ballet teacher in NYC and LA. They were really classy, elegant, mature women. I always think of them and try to be like them. It was a different era...

[Spartana]

Ha! I knew someone would have one :-)!

[Selah]

Oh, I just have to chime in on this one! Yesterday, I had the quintessential "I'd laugh if I weren't crying" experience. I went to do a petsitting assignment for a client, and encountered the client's weekly housekeeper, who comes in whether the client is in town or not. I hadn't seen her for nearly a year, as our paths didn't always cross when I was there on previous assignments. In Hebrew, as soon as she saw me, she blurted out, "Wow, why are you so fat right now? Jeez, you're REALLY fat! Do you still have your (insert vulgar slang for "vagina")? I got some of mine taken out, but I didn't get as fat as you!"

She made an extra effort to help me understand her by using numerous hand gestures to indicate my fatness and the location of her (vulgar slang for "vagina"), which was really kind of her.

Obviously, she was referring to having had a partial hysterectomy.

I have never had kids, but now I'm definitely overweight by about 35 pounds, so not having kids is no guarantee that one will be able to maintain one's figure effortlessly!

[awakenedsoul]

Oh my God Selah! How rude! That's what I'm talking about...unbelievable. It blows my mind when people make comments like that.
The thing I notice, is the comparing. That seems to be at the bottom of it. Who's prettier, who's in better shape, etc...
A lot of women that age just blurt things out, like you said. (Really inappropriate things.)

[catherine]

Is it at all possible that when she said, "You don't have children, do you? Bitch" it was really like giving you a compliment, the same way people say, "I hate you because you're so skinny"?

Living in NJ I know a lot of people who talk like that, but it's just their way of communicating. I can think of one woman in particular with whom I worked. She was in her 50s, and just really blase attitude, and would slip in comments underhandedly. Sometimes they were directed at me, and I could have felt insulted in some of those, but I laughed instead because it was just her way. I don't care what people say to me. But at the same time I totally get what you're saying about the loss of grace and dignity in the way women act today. I get nostalgic for that, too.

But I have to say, Selah, your experience really pushes the boundaries!! Reminds me of when my daughter (who was 5 at the time, not an adult who should know better) said to a really good friend of ours who was overweight, "You're fat!" So my friend looked down at her and said, "What did you say, dear?" And I'm thinking, "oh, please say 'never mind'... please don't repeat it!!" And she said, even louder, "YOU'RE FAT!"

My friend took it well, but I was mortified. And my DD did learn how to edit her speech.