Trash, recycling and respect

[ctg492]

Last night being 500 mile away, I asked my 29 year old What was Dad doing tonight? He replies, Borrowed my truck to take trash somewhere. My mind starts clicking, trash where, why, how??? Later I speak to husband and ask those questions. He tells me, to the dumpster and it was the packing cardboard and styrofoam. I went ballistic to say the least. First he did not recycle( never once had he), second this would have been a construction dumpster for the new homes being built. I had told him the other day NO you can't toss anything in those it is against the law. As he asked me to toss the bag of dog poo I was carrying. My last fit was saying My name had better not be on those boxes, since someone will check to see who tossed them.
I actually felt so disrespected. We have never once seen eye to eye on conserving, recycling, environment. Do you and yours see eye to eye on these topics?

[iris lilies]

Last night being 500 mile away, I asked my 29 year old What was Dad doing tonight? He replies, Borrowed my truck to take trash somewhere. My mind starts clicking, trash where, why, how??? Later I speak to husband and ask those questions. He tells me, to the dumpster and it was the packing cardboard and styrofoam. I went ballistic to say the least. First he did not recycle( never once had he), second this would have been a construction dumpster for the new homes being built. I had told him the other day NO you can't toss anything in those it is against the law. As he asked me to toss the bag of dog poo I was carrying. My last fit was saying My name had better not be on those boxes, since someone will check to see who tossed them.
I actually felt so disrespected. We have never once seen eye to eye on conserving, recycling, environment. Do you and yours see eye to eye on these topics?

Oh, mostly yes.

For many years DH kept every newspaper, they piled high up, and he was going to drop them off at the recycling station "someday." These pies of newspapers in the house drove me crazy so I gifted him a recycling pick-up service one year, just to get rid of the damned things. That worked for several years until our city became involved in recycling, so now we recycle more things, not just the newspapers.

He insists on keeping a compost bucket by the sink. Right now it is drawing fruit flies as it does every year. I've just learned to live with them.

[Sad Eyed Lady]

Yes, we are both compatible when it comes to recycling and like iris lilies, DH does also keep a compost bucket under the sink. The thing I am more committed to than he seems to be is not bringing things in the house to begin with. Most specifically, I will not take a plastic bag under any circumstances hardly. I always carry my own shopping bags, but if DH goes out to pick up a few things he will come back with plastic bags! He is all for using our own bags when we are together, and there are instances when buying a simple item or something he has refused a bag, but not on the scale that I think he should. He believes in it in theory, will practice it with me, but alone he goes for the easier road I guess.

[pinkytoe]

We pretty much agree but I am pretty fanatical about it sometimes. I was cringing today because we were throwing away compostables while at a relative's house in another city. DH kindly placed all the corn husks in a bag and said we'll take them home to compost. It also helps that it is mandatory where we live to recycle just about everything so it becomes a habit after a while for all of us. Throwing it away mindlessly as we used to does not feel right anymore.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I mostly recycle because I should but mostly I really hate recycling. Yes things are ALWAYS piling up for me to take to recycling. I looked into the pick up services but they seem to have all gone out of business (seriously I was fed up enough to be willing pay for something like that, but no no luck as they'd all gone under).

[goldensmom]

I do the trash and recycle. My husband doesn't care. He throws everything in the trash then I sort. We have curbside recycle pick up but half the time the recycle truck doesn't come by our house. I do my part but the service that I pay to collect the recycle does not do their paid part. So frustrating.

[razz]

Ctg, it seems that it is not wise to lump all this together.

DH and I shared many values over our 47 years together but it took time for him to place as great an emphasis on recycling, etc as I did. It comes down to values and unless another shares that value as much as you do, s/he will simply do what seems most right at the time according to his/her value.
Clearing away waste/garbage is a big accomplishment to get done. Sorting the waste or lack of sorting out the recyclables does not and did not seem to me to be disrespectful but simply different priorities and values. DH got annoyed at me for not flattening the metal cans after I carefully cleaned them. It simply did not seem worth the effort for the number that we used. The recycling box took forever to get filled as it was.

It is always annoying to have another impose rules on my behaviour and actions that I don't especially agree with in the first place. Once we got on the same side and viewpoint of an issue, we were a formidable team but that took time, effort and lots of discussion to reach that stage.

[KayLR]

We work as a team here---I tell him what to do and he does it---LOL!

No, really, I've trained him pretty well. (He came from an area which did not have a recycling program. Wellll....he's in the Pac NW now!) The biggest hurdle was teaching him you canNOT throw recyclables into the bin in a plastic bag. The bags mess up the separating machinery at the recycling plant.

[Miss Cellane]

I've discovered over the years that most of my family members don't recycle. At least, not until their town or city makes them recycle. Once they get a ticket or a visit from the "recycling police" and it costs them money, they have started to recycle. Nothing I have said, nothing they have read, affects them as much as having to pay money because they tossed cardboard boxes in the trash.

I don't compost. I live in an apartment, I have three small house plants. I could get an apartment compost bin, yes. It would mean that I'd have to find room for it in a very small kitchen, which would most likely mean that I'd have to give up some kitchen utensil or power tool (those live in a kitchen cabinet for lack of other space to put them). And I've whittled my kitchen stuff and tools down to just those that I really need and use, so giving up some of them would be hard. And then I could compost away.

But then I'd just have to throw the compost out in the trash, as I have no use for it. My landlord doesn't want me composting outside and doesn't want the compost for the grounds around the building, and my plants don't need it.

I have made the decision to reduce/reuse/recycle in other ways--in my family/friend group, I do a lot more in these areas than anyone I know. I toss my carrot peelings without a guilty conscience.

[Rachel]

Cellane, This situation reminds me of some aspects of my own marriage. We share a lot of values, but where we don't I try not to let it become a power struggle. Even if one person is clearly in the right--as you are both ethically and legally in this case--if the spouse doesn't have that same value internalized he is going to feel like a little boy being bossed around by his mean mommy. That will not get him on board or make him start agreeing about recycling. And you will be upset and angry---understandably, but with no productive outcome. Keep doing the recycling that you do and breathe deep. When get upset at the hubs over something that he is not going to change, I try to remember to say my "husband mantra": "He's handsome, kind, and smart, he is nice to my son, he treated my mother well when she was alive, he stuck by me when I had cancer, he works hard and saves his money, he doesn't drink, smoke, or play around." That's mine--other people's will be different. I always feel better by the time I get to the end of my "husband mantra."