A good friend of mine is getting married (to my former boss) mid-Sept. This will be her third marriage and his second. We have been friends since 7th grade and I was her Maid of Honor at her first very very elaborate wedding when we were around 18. I did all the stuff a Maid of Honor traditionally does (and hated it all!) and also had the dreaded ugly dress, along with the huge flower covered floppy hat, with enough bows, ribbons, and poofs to make Scarlett O'Hara proud. Her second wedding was just a simple beach wedding in Hawaii and a big reception at home afterwards. This third (and please God, final) wedding will once again be a huge elaborate affair held at a country club. Her 18 year old daughter will be the Maid Of Honor but she has asked me to be a Brides Maid. She will be doing all those pre-wedding brides maids and girlfriends things like many parties, Vegas trips, spa weekends, etc... As a Brides Maid I would be expected to not only go to all those things, but help plan them and also contribute to the costs to pay for them as well as for myself, for the dress and all of that. Not only that, but I didn't even plan to go to the wedding as I had planned to be far away on a long road trip by then (just waiting for the plates and tags for the new vehicle before I can head out again). So now I need to decide to I want to support my friend and just bite the BM (i.e. Brides Maid - not the other :-)!) bullet or bow out graciously - of both being a BM and the wedding itself. Opinions?