I did some preliminary research, and found that it just may be feasible for you to move to "Ashland", Lilies and all. Y'see--just a few miles south of Columbia, Mo., there is the small town of Ashland. So, it's not too far away, and being rural Zurra, prices no doubt are still affordable. But, it wouldn't surprise me if the radically conservative locals in Ashland have already printed up bumper stickers that say: "Ashland--Don't Louis It Up!". Ha. Get It?