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Thread: eek, assertiveness at work or just irritating

  1. #1
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    eek, assertiveness at work or just irritating

    I am not sure where I am on the line of assertiveness or just being a pain in everyone's rear. Especially with mercury retrograde right now, there is a big chance of misunderstandings.

    So today I was in a meeting when I got one of those zingers. My supervisor from last year is now not really my supervisor (in a pair with new supervisor over our whole team) and honestly overall I get along with her much better. However I am not sure what to do with the leftover from the last couple years. In a way it would be good to just let it go and I pretty much do that. However this training/meeting brought an issue up. I actually told my new supervisor about it, mainly to ask a question because I thought I missed an opportunity or a communication.

    I want to stay out of distracting details so let me see how I can express this, if it doesn't make sense I can say more. There was a training about our registration process and some changes. Part of it was new to me and everyone, the other part is a process that I have been doing for 2 years and I am the only one doing it. Previous sup seemed to have issues and I ended up fending for myself, working out the glitches and making it work since I am the only program site like mine. Even that seemed to bug her when I would say 'hybrid site' the conversation would get off into her telling me it really wasn't a hybrid site. So based on this I wonder if she even recalls that I did this work. To top it off they brought in a couple people to walk through the procedure and see if it was clear, had any problems, etc. But not the person who has been doing it.

    So I wrote down for myself 3 tasks I did that no other person in my position has done specifically to address the needs of being unique. And I am trying to figure out the best language around this. i think I may sound at times like I think I am better or more special because of my unique site, however what I am trying to address is that a really good manager can use skills and talents of the team. Of course there are some sour grapes and i have an expressive face so I am sure people notice some of this.

  2. #2
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    Something I've learned over the years is that bosses don't like to be bothered with this level of detail. They just want me to get the job done. They don't want to hear that I or my area are different with unique needs, that the plan wasn't complete to the implementation of the task, that there are problems. They want me to solve the problem and let them know the outcome - that it's done.

    I've been a lot happier since I realized this, and accepted that it's my job to fix things without involving my boss except for end result reports. This is why they hired me. To get it done without telling them all the trials along the way to the goal.

  3. #3
    rodeosweetheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy View Post
    Something I've learned over the years is that bosses don't like to be bothered with this level of detail. They just want me to get the job done. They don't want to hear that I or my area are different with unique needs, that the plan wasn't complete to the implementation of the task, that there are problems. They want me to solve the problem and let them know the outcome - that it's done.

    I've been a lot happier since I realized this, and accepted that it's my job to fix things without involving my boss except for end result reports.
    Tammy, I have to remind myself of this, too! I definitely have a tendency to get stuck at the detail level and have to avoid the tendency to try to show I was "right".

    I'm not sure that is what Zoe is talking about here, but it is a good reminder for me, now that I am back from vacation and back to work.

    Zoe, are you trying to reframe how to talk about your work experience so that you can work on promotability within the organization?

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    Both are good comments, it may be a little different thing I have going on here. I think what I did 2 years ago when I realized my boss didn't want to know about an aspect of my job was to take care of it. It included creating my own parent handbook when the 2 available did not meet my needs by combining, deleting, editing, the old ones into a workable handbook. It also includes getting specific financial and other documents translated into Spanish for my school. It isn't so much the amount of work as needing to think very different to do these things, to balance working with a team with taking initiative. Most of my peers wait for these things to get done or complain. So I did that and it is okay, above and beyond but I am not expecting a raise or a promotion for doing my job.

    I had to really think about what I want in this case that is concrete, realistic and doesn't increase my pain in the ass image. I would like her to remember what I have done, and include me on the initial stages of changes the department is making that I have already worked with. I think however she has not remembered or has a deep love of hierarchy, basically it has not happened. However the balance to that is I do not want to be seen as the PS who is basically like every other one, not having something that makes me stand out. I want to do a great job, address my challenge areas, and to be noticed at least another level up the chain. So how do I address that either the work I have done is not understood or remembered and still encourage the next levels of management to know what I am doing.

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    So I had my bi-monthly meeting with new supervisor (the one I talked to) and she had mentioned it to my previous supervisor and I got an apology passed on back to me. Wow, I am feeling really good about this and some progress in our department around issues. It isn't just that I got an apology but that I feel it is okay to bring things up that are concerns.

  6. #6
    Senior Member lhamo's Avatar
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    Sounds like things are becoming more positive for you on the management front -- the new supervisor sounds like a huge improvement over the old one! As you move forward with her, I would focus on always trying to be the person who can help her SOLVE a problem, rather than just the person you take your problems to for help. I have to remind myself of that strategy with my boss constantly, as he is a real mensch and knows I am under a lot of stress and that I do need help. But ultimately what is going to make me look better in his eyes is if I am actually fixing stuff, not just pointing out all the problems.
    "Seek out habits that help you overcome fear or inertia. Destroy those that do the opposite." Seth Godin

  7. #7
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    Good advice, I am just excited to move forward without some stuff hanging over.

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