Civility

[awakenedsoul]

I don't think civility is gone, but I think you have to seek it. I've noticed a lot of the same things that the above posters have mentioned. It's amazing what good grooming can do. This morning I got up, showered, washed my hair, and put on make-up and a nice sweater. While waiting for the bus, a young neighbor (in his twenties,) came up and gave me a hug. A lot of these young boys do that when they see me on the bus. It's fascinating. I just smile and say "hi" to them, and they light up. I think that they don't have the home life that many of us did. My mom cooked a delicious dinner every night and kept the house really clean and organized. There was plenty of food, and we always had clean clothes. That's not happening anymore in most homes. It seems like a lot of these young people respond to kind of a "mom" energy with me. I ask them how things are going and encourage them. I tell them what talents that I see in them. I also think that many many people are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs now. That usually makes people antagonistic and difficult. Exercise is a great mood enhancer, but many people don't do that anymore, either. They're so plugged into their electronics.
What I've done is to make a conscious effort to be friendly, happy, and kind to each person I see each day. It's really working. I had a 23 year old guy on the bus today offer to lift my bike off the rack for me. He was really sweet. He was reading a book at the bus stop, and we had a nice conversation. I told him I didn't know people his age read books anymore. The bus driver smiled and laughed with me as I got off the bus. He was very easy going and well mannered. To me it feels like people want the old fashioned interactions, but not everyone is initiating them anymore. Our society is kind of aloof. I took a train trip downtown a couple of days ago. Several people at Union Station offered to help me as I was lugging my bike up the stairs. It really made me feel good. I also chatted with several bicyclists on the subway. We all had our bikes crammed into the bike car. They were real friendly and open. It's giving me hope.

But yes, I see what you're saying. It's out there.

[Gardenarian]

I think society is in a transitional period where we are trying to figure out what "home" means when mom is out at work all day, dad may live in another state, there is usually only one, maybe two kids, 2/3 of parents are divorced...

We are not going to go back to the 50s, when women quietly lost their minds stuck in the house. I think we will end up somewhere better, in the long run.

As for civility, I do think a lot of the rudeness comes from my particular generation - the tail end of the baby boomers, born in the late 50s and 60s. We never got the chance to be hippies; our earliest memories are of assassinations and cold war and Watergate and recession. We are the former yuppies and dinks. We had few heroes or mentors. We had no sense of bonding with others of our generation; we've always been at each others' throats. We were told the establishment is bad but money is good. These things go in cycles; I think my generation eschews personal responsibility and civic engagement, and even responsibility for the planet. (Of course these are sweeping generalizations.)

I have great hope for the future (while simutaneously believing civilization has little future at all.)

I think el dia de los muertos is affecting me

[ApatheticNoMore]

We are not going to go back to the 50s, when women quietly lost their minds stuck in the house.

though it seems to me that you can just as quietly lose your mind stuck at a workplace, in fact far more so since it's a far more deadening and lifeless environment (raising kids at home at least has some real human elements, it might be lonely for adult company, but it's less totally alienating). I await the day when women and men no longer quietly lose their minds stuck at jobs. That would be a real change.

I think we will end up somewhere better, in the long run.

In the long run we're all dead! Yea maybe in the long run, the thing is I doubt I'll Live Long Enough to to see it get better, it's gonna have to get worse first (I may not like that but everything is so messed up that it's probably the case...). To live now is to plant trees in whose shade you will NEVER sit. It's just the age we live in.

I do consider it quite possible that the way people raise kids may be improving, psychological knowledge had to seep into the culture eventually (too bad not in time for us). Of course the external world people nowdays must raise kids in, in many ways grows more hostile by the minute, so against whatever advancements there are, there is also that.

think my generation eschews personal responsibility and civic engagement, and even responsibility for the planet. (Of course these are sweeping generalizations.)

probably what they say about Gen X. I think Gen X people are mostly careerists by nature though, which is a narrow focus, but the real greed and stuff, uh the big money was mostly though not entirely gone by that time for most, left the building, left the country, left the middle class, I don't know.