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Thread: Who ever decided what's good?

  1. #41
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    Something interesting to me is how standards of dress/appearance have changed where I work. We have had an influx of new employees from the East Coast and D.C. and they definitely dress up more than the "locals". They also drive more expensive cars. It used to feel fairly casual but these folks like to dress - pumps, skirts, etc. I guess we signal our tribe by how we decorate ourselves. Caring about basic grooming is a different matter I think.

  2. #42
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    I guess a lot of that dressing up never felt right on me. My skin is very sensitive to certain fabrics. My hair is fine and limp. My nails are weak and split. I have to wear orthotics in my shoes because my feet are so bad (since I was 17), etc., etc....
    Maybe I just gave up....just to be comfortable. It became too traumatic and time-consuming to "keep up" appearances. That coupled with some enlightenment being around certain people who didn't really even see these outer things. But now I think mostly in terms of what uses up way too much energy and resources and makes too much trash and contaminates the environment too much.
    I'm sure dressing up/expensive cars, etc. are status symbols. But I'm thinking we could do without them.

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyA View Post

    Maybe I just gave up....just to be comfortable. It became too traumatic and time-consuming to "keep up" appearances. That coupled with some enlightenment being around certain people who didn't really even see these outer things. But now I think mostly in terms of what uses up way too much energy and resources and makes too much trash and contaminates the environment too much.
    I'm sure dressing up/expensive cars, etc. are status symbols. But I'm thinking we could do without them.
    This pretty well sums up how I feel now about keeping up with fashion. I did 'keep up appearances' due to peer pressure in my teens, and found it expensive and time-consuming. Later, on I discovered that being low-maintenance freed up both my time and resources; it's who I am. I'm neat and tidy, but without the makeup and nail polish. Secondhand clothing in good condition, healthy skin from eating well, and a smile. My friends (even the ones who wear makeup) accept me as I am, just as I accept them.

    I think the origin of the 'appearances' concern comes from marketing messages for 'beauty' products. The older I get, the more I see beauty almost everywhere, especially in natural forms.

  4. #44
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    What used to really bother me is that women would say "Oh.....you don't need makeup.....your skin is naturally so nice, but I need the make-up to be presentable". Yet, I thought they were more beautiful without the make-up. It was just in their own heads that they weren't presentable without it.
    I am also thinking of the entire cosmetic industry, and how much energy and resources it wastes, just because people buy into that industry's notion of what is acceptable and what is not.

  5. #45
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyA View Post
    I am also thinking of the entire cosmetic industry, and how much energy and resources it wastes, just because people buy into that industry's notion of what is acceptable and what is not.
    I think that's the case in any market in which there is no monopoly: cosmetics, cars, jewelry, housing, ... When you have a consumption-based economy, you have to find a way to keep people buying upward.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyA View Post
    What used to really bother me is that women would say "Oh.....you don't need makeup.....your skin is naturally so nice, but I need the make-up to be presentable".
    I'm afraid the "solution" creates the problem sometimes. Cheap makeup makes users get zits, and then they need more makeup to cover it up. That's especially bad for teenage girls.

  7. #47
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    I recall my introduction to makeup as a young girl (4th grade). My best friend's mother at the time owned what they used to call a "beauty" salon. She would bring over tubes of goo and shadow for us to become gorgeous. The women in my family never wore anything but lipstick and that was just for special occasions so all this was very exciting at the time. Unfortunately, it somehow crept into my mind at the time along with media that we weren't presentable without it. Even now, DH will ask me about certain rituals I have - why do you do that? I don't really know...it's ingrained?

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyA View Post
    I wonder how certain concepts got started. I guess I started thinking about this when I grabbed my purse to run a bunch of errands this morning, and saw that the strap was falling apart........but it was still good, so I'll continue to use it. My tennis shoes are very worn.......but I still wear them. My hair is always pulled up in a barrette and is a bit disheveled, but it's always clean, etc., etc., etc.
    I just wonder where the notion started that we "shouldn't" wear worn/faded things, or why we have to appear a certain way?

    Seems like we could cut out a heck of a lot of unnecessary things, if we just accepted that things aren't perfect, but still extremely usable.
    I'm sure to some people, I might even look like a bag lady.....hahaha. But these things just don't matter to me.
    But I do wonder where all the notions got started on how people had to look, to be "acceptable".
    good question. I am 58 and over the past 20 yrs or so, have gotten past the notion of trying to please everyone else and live up to their standards.
    In most matters my appearance is to please me. I will admit to still buying a few clothes that I feel are needed for work since I deal with the public.
    When younger I shopped til I dropped, always trying to get the best and run with the pack. I now have a nephew who has a high pressure position, earns an excellent salary and spends all his free time shopping and buying the most expensive in clothes, cars and the latest electronic gear. What will he make of this when he ages? He does this to the extreme that it is more important than women, sex, family, well you get the drift. I've often wondered what will become of him. For me, it is hard to let anything go which is still functional. And when buying something new like an appliance, I stick to the basic models. Interesting.

  9. #49
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    Earlier today, I got my haircut and during conversation about cuts for older women, the stylist told me she is going in for some nip tucks because she fears looking old. Although I feel really great these days, one look in the mirror and my heart sinks a bit with the thought that I am finally beginning to look like the older woman I am now. So much for the baby face and long blond hair. This aging standard is the one that gripes me the most. I hear some cultures revere age but this one certainly doesn't.

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