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Thread: Dating a man 11 years younger...

  1. #61
    Senior Member Yarrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by awakenedsoul View Post
    Thanks for your story, Kay. As I've learned more about this guy, I don't think it's going to go any further. He's had two DUI's, spent time in jail due to a ticket for reckless driving before the 2nd DUI, and it all makes me very nervous. His mother just divorced after 27 years of marriage, and he is letting her stay in his apt. He is renting a room in a house with lots of problems. (drugs.) His mother has an addiction to prescription drugs. It's sad...he is talented, and does well, but it sounds like his money is going to his mom, his ex, and her kids. He doesn't even use the kitchen in the house he rents. He just stays in the room and uses the Internet.

    He also doesn't have health insurance. He believes that God watches over him. I don't have a good feeling about it, so I'll chalk it up to a nice week and a trip to the mountains. Makes me realize how lucky I am to have my cottage.

    Oh well. At least I did a little dating in 2014. Maybe I'll meet someone more compatible with me in 2015...My rescued dog kept making whining noises when he was here as if to say, "Oh no Mom, I don't think this is a good idea. Oh Mom, this is really worrying me..." I think she was picking up on his energy. Also, he acted verbally abusive a couple of times. That's a deal breaker for me. Onward and upward!
    I have to agree with others here that think there are a lot of red flags.

    Are you going into this relationship thinking you are going to fix this guy? Because that never works.

  2. #62
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    Awakenedsoul, life is short. And life can be a b*tch. If an unexpected present comes your way, why not enjoy it? It may not last, but nothing lasts forever. You may have been in abusive relationships before, but perhaps now, you have learned from your experiences. Wishing you joy and serenity.

  3. #63
    Senior Member Packy's Avatar
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    I am still worried sick about those Red Flags. I really am. You have already endured so much abuse---why risk having to be abused, again? Also, your dogg has been abused---you don't want your dogg to be abused again, either. Well, do you? It sounds as though he is so Big And Strong and Powerful that he could easily hurl you both through a plate-glass picture window in a drunken rage, just because his favorite Tee-Vee Sports team lost. I would definitely recommend that you cease all of this "Dating" immediately, and without notice. Then, request a restraining order, & check into a battered wimmins shelter, as soon as possible. Change your identity, and move to another part of CallyFornYa. Then, take courses at a local community college on plumbing repair, car maintenance, and other guy stuff. Also, retrain, so you can get a better-paying job. This will greatly reduce your dependence on men, so you can avoid them almost entirely. It will be worth the effort, just to keep from being abused. Not trying to be sarcastic, mocking or insulting. Just being littlebittymee. Hope that helps you some.

  4. #64
    Senior Member awakenedsoul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Packy View Post
    I am still worried sick about those Red Flags. I really am. You have already endured so much abuse---why risk having to be abused, again? Also, your dogg has been abused---you don't want your dogg to be abused again, either. Well, do you? It sounds as though he is so Big And Strong and Powerful that he could easily hurl you both through a plate-glass picture window in a drunken rage, just because his favorite team lost. I would definitely recommend that you cease all of this "Dating" immediately, and without notice. Then, request a restraining order, & check into a battered wimmins shelter, as soon as possible. Change your identity, and move to another part of CallyFornYa. Then, take courses at a local community college on plumbing repair, car maintenance, and other guy stuff. Also, retrain, so you can get a better-paying job. This will greatly reduce your dependence on men, so you can avoid them almost entirely. It will be worth the effort, just to keep from being abused. Not trying to be sarcastic. Hope that helps you some.
    I'm saving these types of posts by Packy. They are very revealing.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Packy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by awakenedsoul View Post
    I'm saving these types of posts by Packy. They are very revealing.
    Yes, Awakened, I am in complete agreement. Not only with myself, but with you. As for your replies, they are VERY revealing. They reveal that you DO read my posts, instead of just ignoring them, as you have said before. Another thing is, it validates my theory that you are a seasoned veteran at playing the game of "Victim". You are ever on the lookout for someone qualified to play the role of Perpetrator in your life games. Saving my posts is a very cunning and shrewd measure, on your part. It demonstrates that you have victim-playing savvy, there. So, let's chalk one up for the Victim Contestant, here. See? That, is the attraction that you have for Mr Right--even though your confidantes here advised you against it. But, you saw that involvement is risky, he is a bit dangerous, at times. Yet, you now find nothing but good qualities; he is so nice. He is Perfect for the part of Perpetrator in your game of Victim--unless he figures you out in time. Now, do you see? Hope that helps you some. Thankk Mee.
    Last edited by Packy; 1-6-15 at 7:32pm.

  6. #66
    Senior Member Packy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by awakenedsoul View Post
    Thanks catherine. At this age, everyone has some baggage. It's different than meeting someone when you're in your twenties. Still, at least I got back in the dating game. It's harder as you get older. (Well, I think it is.)

    Packy, I don't read your posts, and haven't for quite a while. We've lost some of our best writers lately due to your behavior. (Spartana and Gardenarian.)
    See? You don't read my posts, do you?

  7. #67
    Senior Member Packy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by awakenedsoul View Post
    Yeah, everybody is a mixed bag. It always seems to me that talent, intelligence, and sexuality are at the same level in a person. His levels seemed very high. I guess you're right, he is a craftsman. He said he liked the attention to detail that I have.

    Animals are really dialed in to energy. Another trick I do is to ask myself, "How would I fee about this person as a parent?" In his case, I would have been worried about the driving, the finances, and his tone of voice. The insults tipped me off. Nobody's perfect, but I think I can find a better match. Well, I can at least try...
    See? I just have a need to win this debate.

  8. #68
    Senior Member Yarrow's Avatar
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    Shame on you, Packy! You're going to drive awakened soul away next! You know, like Spartana and Gardenarian...yeah whatever. Lol
    Spartana is traveling like she often does, and Gardenarian is currently making a big move to another state, and like she said on her last thread she'll be back in a few weeks. Awakenedsoul, why would you blame their absence on Packy? Not cool, really not cool. No wonder he is antagonizing you.... That would tick me off too.

    And after reading through this whole thread today I see that Awakenedsoul ignores any posts that are not totally supportive of her, even though she had a sudden overnight change of heart regarding her love interest. He went from abusive to wonderful overnight, and yet she is rude to those posters that are concerned for her. Awakenedsoul, I think that is very revealing about you!

  9. #69
    Senior Member mtnlaurel's Avatar
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    Yarrow, I too had the idea that Spartana was not posting based on some specific interactions, per her post on this thread - entry #11
    http://www.simplelivingforum.net/sho...-Changes/page2

    I didn't know who the said individual was, but I too thought it might have been Packy as it coincided with some thread about Hawaii travelling folks and their all-you-can-eat buffets... or some such something that became contentious.
    Shoot I can't keep up - I would need some kind of Days Of Our Lives org chart to keep up with the shenanigans

    But you're right, Spartana does travel regularly, so I'm sure we'll see her back again and posting soon.

    I think it takes cajones for people to put their laundry (dirty or clean) out here for us to rifle through.

    I do think Packy won the debate with himself that Awakenedsoul does read his posts.
    And I do not think Awakenedsoul will thankkk himmm for anything as it does not appear that his posts have helped her some, despite his hopes of such.

  10. #70
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    Yarrow, I too had the idea that Spartana was not posting based on some specific interactions, per her post on this thread - entry #11
    http://www.simplelivingforum.net/sho...-Changes/page2
    yes I suspected the certain individual might have been Packy too, but she doesn't say. As for Gardenian it's possible this is based on a private communication or something, but I wouldn't have any idea on that, so I have no basis to believe she was having issues with Packy.

    I think it takes cajones for people to put their laundry (dirty or clean) out here for us to rifle through.
    yea I think by this point awakenedsoul or anyone would have gotten more second guessing of their love life than ahem anyone needs! Ever so much passenger seat driving. Of course I'm an intensely private person and wouldn't likely put active life decisions of great importance (as opposed to what to have for dinner) in the present out there (talking about the past ah well, that's not active or alive anymore is it, it's just history, that I don't always mind sharing).

    I also suspected what was being described originally as "verbal abuse" might not really be. All one can do is reiterate that real abuse is bad mkay, and shouldn't just be tolerated.

    Packy may mean mostly to amuse (I still want to crack pizza jokes all the time now), but one can at times in this thread recognize how the "joking" is taking on a certain misogynist tone that one is only too familiar with (I wish I wasn't).
    Trees don't grow on money

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