i really liked this article

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...itive-thinking

it made so much more sense to me, of course then i got upset because of the times i really just tried the positive thinking so much and really didn't put the rest of the work behind it. however life is not over yet and i have made some good decisions here as well. i totally knew what i was doing when i went to grad school and i did very well. i know that i have seen the limits of positive thinking but it is so seductive, a fantasy life in some cases. the big proponents of pure positive thinking that i have dealt with have a few characteristics that are frustrating to me, 1) some type of privilege that they are unaware of (like the economic opportunities of the baby boomers) 2) connections with family and friends who have similar success (everyone buys each others avon and pampered chef) 3) a discomfort with sitting down and working through the realities with another situation and another person.

there are plenty of positive people in my life who are not quite like that, those are just the frustrating ones. i would have really liked simple positive thinking to work, but for some things i had vision boards instead of business plans and that didn't work. So now i have my novel in a box for retirement, as much as that is fun it does not balance out with the stress of a low income. i am doing volunteer mediation towards a new or side career and even in that i decided to take any mediation i can get rather than sticking to ones in my comfort zone. it is not as thrilling as the fantasy of being a novelist or a meditation teacher but it feels more stable and real