Eating the elephant

[Tammy]

Ejchase -

Your SOs family can rent an auditorium in a local school. Or a fellowship hall in a local church. Or a big room at the ymca. Those are very cost effective ways to have a large space for family gatherings.

I've watched the extended families on my two parents sides of our family adjust over the years. One family quickly realized that no one had a large enough house for 50-100 people and started renting spaces. The other family struggled for a few years but eventually came to the same solution.

What I observed through my psychiatric nurse eyes was that an entire new generation was added to an already large family, and the older ones struggled to accept that we were no longer a tight knit family getting together for the holidays. Rather we were a large clan that required a more institutional setting for occasional reunions. The tight knit groups were now subdivided into the various families of the children of the original group.

It was a grieving process for people to accept that change.

[Aqua Blue]

Oh yeah, there's a carport here that had lots of surrounding brickwork done on it, it is all very handsome. And the owners use it as a party place.

My cousin also has a big outdoor building for vechicle storage and/or parties.

But the OP wants it warmed up, I'm sure, and attached to the kitchen where all of the good stuff happens. Otherwise you are hauling loads and loads to stuff out to the party shed.

Of all the reasons to buy or expand real estate, this is a good one as long as the OP is completely right that all of these families members will come to visit. Making family memories is great.

The person I knew had those things in the attached garage. One of those overhead heaters and an AC unit. It was also steps from the kitchen(no further than the dining room actually, just in the opposite direction.

I agree, if the Op is happy it doesn't really matter who else is happy. I think many threads with various ideas are more for other people. Someone else might read this thread and a couple of years from now think they need to enlarge the house for family events and think, "or we could just rent something for the once a year this comes up or we could do the attached garage we had talked about and build it to we could use it as a party room, or what ever other ideas there are.

[Chicken lady]

if I had 50-100 people I'd refuse to be in charge! I'm looking at my parents, dh, my kids (three i raised and one child of my heart) their SOs, and their kids. at the moment that makes 12. but the 5 y.o. fills a room. If we had dh family here it would include my kids' cousins and be 18, blood only.

We have "final" plans as of last night. dh is now looking at the excavation and where we have to move electric and water lines. He offered to put water to my barn because it is very little extra digging and we could use an existing line to the exterior of the house that has to be moved or capped anyway.

today I am going to take cuttings of the willows to root - the willows will go in the excavation and they are too big to move, but too small to grieve.

[ToomuchStuff]

I saw this as a discussion at my friends restaurant. Some customers were having and I had to laugh, when one had the same response as me. One couple was trying to convince their friend that with the market down, he could/should upgrade his home to a larger one, while the prices were down. Their view was the market would turn around and give him instant equity "which he could later use". He said he had enough space and what about the other expenses. They questioned that there would be other expenses and he came back with higher utilities, higher taxes, more space to upkeep, as well as larger items like roof, etc. His friends were dumbfounded and I had to laugh.
You will also face those changes, for how many days a year exactly? Have you examined other options, since your not interested in renting space? Some have been discussed here, like multfamily dwellings, with large common area's. You might read through some discussions here, and examine other idea's just to be sure of the one your on.

[Chicken lady]

Yes, we're sure. We've been planning this for five years. We have absolutely no interest in or desire to move. Moving to a multifamily dwelling would involve moving and likely more costs than the addition. Making this a multifamily dwelling would require - an addition. And another family that we actually wanted to live with. I mentioned this is a farm, right?

We fully understand the costs involved.

We will use the new space every day. How many days we will need it, i don't know. Currently the kids seem to find a reason to gather here about one weekend a month plus weeks around holidays. But the kitchen will be in it. It has been carefully designed for optimum solar gain and daylight depending on season. As well as consideration of views. I am seasonal and being able to be in daylight is very important to me. Or i guess i could buy a therapy light and tether myself in front of it for a long period each day while it uses electricty.

The construction project will allow us to fix some significant drainage problems - both in the pasture which are causing recurrent illness in the animals and in the basement which is leaking and shifting, threatening the existing house. After subtracting the things that reasonably have to be done, the additional cost is well worth the addition.

I will spend less time on the enclosed front porch and in the current kitchen. Ideally we would simply open the current kitchen into the current livingroom and porch but unfortunately that would involve removing two load bearing walls, moving plumbing and electric. I would also lose my pantry and the space for my refrigerator. Due to the poor design of the original house, getting anything but very early morning light into the space would also involve removing the garage and adding windows.

In the long run, the addition will simplify our lives by allowing us to travel less and easily enjoy time with friends and family. It will make any things about our home more flexible. Apparently I will also be able to tack on a saving of over 100 hours a year carrying water.

I hope that I have been able to comfort and reassure those of you who are just concerned about my priorities and decisions. However, they are MY priorities and decisions, and I am tired of explaining and justifying them. If you simply disagree with me, that's ok, but please stop doing it here.

Here I am looking for support as I attempt to reduce the stuff in my basement so less has to be moved out of the way of construction; to reduce other categories so that when the house is the right size, it is open and light and the things in it are useful, loved, and easily reached; and to approach the project in ways that make it as smooth and simple as possible - such as waiting to replace the current roof so we can have all the roofing done at once and taking cuttings from my willow tree to start a new one instead of trying to dig up and move a 12 foot tall tree.

As I go along, if you have thoughts on making spaces or storage more flexible or efficient or simplifying or reducing the cost of the process, that's great. If anyone else has a huge project they are trying to tackle in sections, I'd love to cheer each other on. But the thread wasn't intended to be " should I eat this elephant" it's about getting it eaten. If nobody can support that, I'm going to just let the thread die and take what I can from existing threads.

I cut the willow starts.

[Teacher Terry]

I have decluttered several houses & I find for me I find it easier to do it for longer periods of time. When I was working f.t. I would do it in the evenings or on weekends. Now that I am semi-retired I do it during the day. I have helped friends with this too. As my sheets & towels have worn out I haven't replaced them all. I actually had way too many. I had collections of various things & mostly got rid of them. I have cut down on the # of decorations, etc I have as well as seasonal items. I have also pruned down my wardrobe because studies show that people tend to wear the 20% of their clothes that they like the most. I got rid of all the stuff my kids had when they were kids. I find it alot easier to keep the house clean & tidy without so much crap. I went room by room & eliminated what I really didn't need or didn't really love. Good luck!

[Alan]

I hope that I have been able to comfort and reassure those of you who are just concerned about my priorities and decisions.

LOL, you had me from the very first post. To me, simple living isn't about what you can do without, it's about living comfortably with what you have while simultaneously achieving goals and aspirations. I'd be very much interested in updates on the project as one of my dreams is finding an older home with acreage and turning it into our personal family compound, complete with all the amenities needed to enhance the experience.

Rock on Chicken Lady, you have my support even though you don't need it.

[rodeosweetheart]

So many advantages to your plan! To me, the biggest would be water to the barn, as I have hand carried water to horses too many years and get where you are coming from. It sounds as though you have lots of family that visits--you are very blessed, and enjoy it to the max. My only idea would be about bedding--is there away to incorporate any wall closets where you could stash fold up beds,so that you could pull them out when the guests come and neatly fold them into the closet space along the wall when they are not there?

That and maybe have two long tables so you could put them together when the house was fuller and use then separately when it is only the two of you.

Oh, and best of all, stacking chairs--this is my plan when I get my place where I hope the kids will come and bring their kids. I am thinking build in closets and stacking chairs!

[jp1]

Chicken lady, you shouldn't feel like you have to defend your plans. At least not beyond explaining why you've reached the decisions you have. Everyone else is looking at your plans from their own life perspectives. From what you've said it sounds pretty clear that you've put a great deal of thought into this and it will likely work well for you. I hope it does, and that it brings you lots of enjoyment. Personally it wouldn't work for me, but it doesn't have to. SO and I are in a completely different place in our lives. (the main one being that we don't have children and aren't going to...) This is a text based internet site so people's comments probably come off harsher than they were intended. Try not to let that get you down or sour you on this forum. Like Alan I very much look forward to hearing more about how things progress. I don't come here looking for other people identical to me. I could just look in the mirror if that was all I wanted. I come here to learn about, or at least be reminded by, other people who have markedly different lives, goals, etc.

[Chicken lady]

Thank you everybody. I like the idea of fold down beds and stacking chairs, but with the extra basement space coming, it's probably cheaper to get some cots or inflatables and put them on a storage rack. We currently own 24 "chairs" spread around the house - counting benches, stools, rockers, and 4 chairs only big enough for small children. 28 if we bring in the plastic ones from outside, so I probably won't get to buy any more any time soon. We'll be using the current long dining table and the current square kitchen table. There is also a round table coming to me from my grandmother in the next few years. My aunt is currently borrowing/storing it. it has 5 chairs.

dh and I are going to buy a new couch and loveseat for the new space, and we are in debate because I want a sleeper and he wants something big and leather. by the time the space is ready though sticker shock may turn it into a futon.

The "final" plan got less final last night. the footprint is done, but dh wants to change the peaked rook over the kitchen bump to a shed roof for better shade in summer and because "Who sees this? the goats? why is it so fancy?" I like the shed roof idea, so we run that back to the architect.

We're worlking with an architect who will walk this thing through the whole permitting process and keep us from making structural mistakes - she set up the meeting with the county engineer. I sort of feel sorry for her because she wants to draw all these fancy things and we want the place to blend into the surroundings and be minimalist practical. she's good though. She's made some great changes to the kitchen and asks why we're doing everything and gives us lots of options.