Thanks for the replies! I should provide more context. My dad has done their planning, and when they say they are fine, I believe it. But, if they feel they are more than fine and want to give money and pay for things, it can be awkward or it can be heart-warming depending on communication. They paid for my college and I didn't have kids, so if they want to give my sister $ for special things for her family they should do that happily. But some parents, like MIL, feel the need to make sure everyone gets the same amount. So it's happened that one BIL needed a decent sum for some sort of poor planning incident in his life so she gave each son a similar amount to be "fair". Now yes it's her money and if that makes her feel happy, that's fine. But I don't want her, 5 years from now, to regret giving us money so that things were "equal" when we were fine without it, KWIM? And if my parents want to be unequal because their kids are in different circumstances, then I want them to feel ok about that. Not sure how to convey these things, nor how the other siblings feel. This came up in one form or another for both mine and DH's family so it prompted my lament. Doesn't sound like a lot of answers out there.